Blogging the Oscars

Well, it's the night of MY "Super Bowl." It's the 83rd Oscars. We had brunch with Ned and Marta and went to see The Illusionist today and Ned asked me afterwards if I would be blogging the Oscars. I actually hadn't planned on it, but I always do what Ned suggests, so here I am blogging the Oscars. I guess this is supposed to be the "young, hip" Oscar telecast, hence the young hosts. I'm the product of the golden age of Hollywood and find it a little harder to relate to what I've seen thus far. Anne Hathaway is cute as a button, but her co-host, James Franco doesn't do much for me.

I suspect I wuld have enjoyed the opening film if (a) I'd seen more of the nominated movies, and (b) hadn't been putting the dogs' dinner together at the time.

Despite being a mom who expected one of my kids to get up on stage and win an Oscar some day, the Mom and Grandma in the audience didn't do anything for me...this is the Academy Awards, after all, not your high school senior class play.

At the other end of the spectrum, Kirk Douglas, shame on you for hijacking the show. You have to hand it to the guy for remaining an active part of the Hollywood community despite the effects of his stroke, but dragging out an already long show by trying to be funny (when he wasn't) was very uncomfortable. Someone should have used the hook.

Only--what...?--the third award and already they are bleeping F-words. Melissa Leo appeared shocked that it had come out of her mouth. I did like how sincere she was and how she thanked her family over and over again.

[aside--I'm watching this while at the same time being a doggie trampoline...not the easiest thing to do!]

Continuing the young and hip theme was Justin Timerlake and I didn't catch the name of his partner. Not funny. Uncomfortable.

Yay for Toy Story 3's win. Even though we'd just seen The Illusionist, an excellent film, how can you not give Toy Story the win?

I do love Helen Mirren. I swear I'd watching her read the phone book.

David Seidler gets best original screenplay forThe King's Speech. His father always told him he would be a late bloomer, the 74 year old writer says. He accepted the award in the name of stutterers everywhere--that they have a voice. He, himself, developed a stutter in his teen years. I remember Colin Firth talking about how he learned from him what it was like to stutter. Sure no sign of a sutter tonight.

Hathaway's rewritten "On My Own" didn't do anything for me. I am just not young and hip any more. I do have to say, though that Hathaway in a tux is much more attractive than Franco in a pink dress. Bad, bad, bad. It's a long way to go for a dig at Charlie Sheen. Where is Billy Crystal when you really really need him?

I guess I'm going to have to see that fight movie. Christian Bale has won all the awards for suporting actor. (Amazing that he didn't seem to be able to remember his wife's name, though!) I was hoping for Geoffrey Rush, who I thought turned in an excellent performance--but then I didn't see Bale.

Most of these presenters are people I don't recognize. I am so old...

I don't care if you ARE a costume designer, nobody wants to watch you stand there in your black lace gloves and read an acceptance speech--badly.

Whew. Kevin Spacey. For one brief moment things seem smooth and professional and like someone was finally in charge.

Oh lord, it's Oprah. It's not enough she has a talk show and owns her own network, now she's on the Oscars too? She is the Second Coming, you know. Don't let the fundamentalists know that Jesus has come back as a black woman.

Finally someone turns in a political comment about Wall Street criminals. "not a single financial executive has gone to jail"

The answer to a prayer: Billy Crystal. Too late for a save, but again, so nice to see someone in charge. ...and Robert Downey, Jr. is also very funny.

Oh dear, Social Network wins for film editing. Not a good sign for King's Speech.

Given what's going on in Wisconsin and across the country, I expected a lot of award recipients to thank their unions, but so far only one has.

Apparently Hathaway is the only person who thinks Franco is funny.

Jennifer Hudson looks fabulous. Congratulations, Jenny Craig! (Or is she Weight Watchers...I forget which is which)

I've lived long enough to see Gwyneth Paltrow starting to look old.

The dead people montage came on without introduction and left without comment, but Celine Dion looked like she had a bad headache. Either they are including more non-actors in the montage now or all those directors, agents, cinematographers and costume designers are getting old and dying off.

It's impossible for Halle Barry to look bad. Nice tribute to Lena Horn.

What time is it. Isn't this thing over yet...? I'm getting butt fatigue (and I'm able to get up and walk around!)

Just because the show isn't long enough already, now they have presenters to introduce presenters. Here we go...director award. YES! The King's Speech!!! Loved the director's story about his mother finding the script for him, and his conclusion "listen to your mum."

Whew. Commercial time. I can pee...

Annette Benning should watch how she holds her head when photographed, though I wouldn't mind having all those wrinkles if it meant less fat. I guess it's no surprise that Natalie Portman won the award, but it would have been nice to see a nice lesbian movie featured, especially since everyone says Benning is sooo good in it. I do want to see Black Swan. Portman gave a beautiful speech.

Whew...Colin Firth takes the Oscar. I'm speechless. (that's a joke, son)

OK...I'm happy now. The Kings Speech won best picture. And finally someone thanked his boyfriend. Watching this show tonight you'd think that everybody in the movie industry was straight.

James Franco immediately seemed to forget which movie won. Who in the world decided to have this guy host?

Awww...ending with "Over the Rainbow." Such cute kids. The guy in front on the right was just too much fun to watch.

The show was 3+ hours long, which was entirely TOO long. But it's over, the good guys got their recognition and I can get back to my life.