Done

I woke up with butterflies in my stomach.  I felt the way I did back in 1913 when we were moving her to Atria.  My mood darkened when I saw that it was POURING outside.  Bad omen.  I got a text message from Sandy about what I should bring with my mother when we brought her.  I went to CVS and bought about $50 worth of "toiletries" and a bag for them as well as some GREAT slippers that will be perfect...and since they fit me, I know they will fit her

The plan was to go to the Atria hairdresser at 2 p.m. so she would not look like a witch with straggly hair, and then Ned and Walt would meet me and we would pack her up and head for Woodland by 3:45.  When I got into the car, there was blue in the sky.  Good omen?  Even better was a parking place at Atria. Definitely a good omen.

Don't believe in omens.  Though they told me she had been in good spirits in the morning, she was in HORRIBLE spirits when I got there.  From time to time, she decides that things aren't being run right, that the people in charge don't know what they are doing and, if I'm there, somehow it's my fault.  I couldn't say anything to her that didn't evoke a complaint and anger that I was trying to get her to go to her apartment.

I finally told her that I was taking her to get her hair cut because she's been complaining that it's so long.  Wrong thing to say.  She didn't want to go.  She doesn't want her hair cut.  I couldn't make her go.  I wasn't the boss of her.  I tried walking her down the hall and she spied Tony in the dining room and that was it for moving her forward.  She actually whirled and said "I'll HIT you if you don't leave me alone!" and then made a beeline for Tony.

One of the staff asked me if I wanted her to try getting her to the hair dresser and I thanked her and went off to the apartment to start packing.  Ned arrived with boxes and a cart to move things.  By now the staff member wasn't having any better luck than I had trying to get her hair cut.  Ned went to try and actually got her out of the memory unit, but apparently when he got to the elevator, she freaked out and refused to get in it.  So he sat with her for a long time and got her calmed down.  By the time they got to the apartment she was in good spirits (but still had long hair)

 

She was fine while we packed up and didn't even make a fuss about the mess in the apartment.  When we were finished, I went to get her meds to take to Eldervilla and then went to meet Walt and Ned and leave.

 

The saddest thing was that she has lived at Atria for 6 years and not one person said goodbye.  In fact, the director kind of blew me off.  I know it wouldn't have meant anything to my mother but I thought surely somebody would say goodbye.

We were right on time at Eldervilla -- well, a minute late.  We arrived at 4:01.  Sandy was great and seated my mother on a couch with another resident, Jeannie, who has been there three years and still doesn't know his name.

 

She and my mother chatted a lot while I went over paperwork with Sandy.  I tried to get a picture of Simba, but he wouldn't stay still long enough but I did this this.

 

My mother and Jeannie talked a lot and even sang a little together.  She was settling in nicely until I told her I was leaving, then she panicked.  While I had been going over paperwork with Sandy, Ned and Walt had been setting up her room.  When I was there before I saw the room. I thought it was nice, but somewhat like a prison cell.  Ned managed to turn it into a warm, welcoming bedroom.  You can't see it all in the photo of the day, but her big family picture is hung up and as many photos as we had (she has lost 7 of the framed photos of her family--I don't have a clue where they are.  Also, one of the pairs of shoes I bought for her (and LABELED for her) last week was also missing.  I am so glad to be out of Atria!

Anyway, I  told her goodbye and left her with Ned.  He got her calmed down and then turned her over to Sandy and we were all out of there.  I won't go back now until Jeri gets here next weekend.  By then she will have had a week to acclimate and I hope will be feeling better.

I am feeling both apprehensive about how she is doing and how she will do overnight, but also immensely relieved that she is in a place that seems much more safe and loving than Atria ever felt.

And of course it doesn't help that it's $2,000 less than Atria AND they do in-house haircuts free.

The Last Supper

Well, it wasn't really the last supper and it wasn't really supper, but I took my mother to lunch in the big dining room today, hoping to see my favorite server, Piyush, and maybe the woman we ate with all the time, Margaret.  I was in luck; we saw both.

When I got to Atria at 11:15, they told me they thought she must have been awake all night because she was sound asleep.  I guess sometimes she spends the night walking the halls (I wonder what she'll do at Eldervilla).  I managed to wake her up and she was quite verbal, but making no sense.  Talking about "she wanted me to it but I didn't think it was right."  She couldn't say who "she" was or what "it" was but she certainly was emphatic about it all.

I tried to get her dressed and put her in the shirt she wore yesterday, but she told me it didn't fit, so I put her in a different shirt and when I tried to get her pants on she said she had to go to the bathroom to pee.  I said "OK...go to the bathroom" but that was entirely too confusing for her.  She kept asking what she was supposed to do and when I answered "go to the bathroom" she accused me of trying to confuse her.

Anyway, she finally disappeared and I assumed she was going to the bathroom but when I went to check, she wasn't there.  I had visions of her wandering the halls in her shirt and Depends.  I got Ali, one of the staff, to look in other people's rooms for her and she finally found her--in the bathroom.  I don't know where she had been when I looked there.  Maybe her roommate's bedroom?

I tried to get her to put on her shoes.  The new shoes I bought her are too small and the second pair I bought has disappeared, along with the framed photos of seven of her siblings and several photo books I had made for her.  I wonder what we are going to find when we start packing up the place!  I finally got her to understand she needed to put shoes on her feet (which was also too confusing for her to understand) and as soon as she had completed that, she took them off again because I hadn't explained that she should leave them on.

We eventually were able to leave the memory unit and go to the main dining room, where she ate 3x a day for 4 years, but she didn't have a clue where we were.  Even seeing people being served food she didn't know what kind of place it was.

We both had chicken soup and then fish and chips.  The chicken soup came with visible herbs in it, which she was convinced were bugs.  She took the "bugs" out of every bite, but managed to finish the soup, leaving a pile of herbs at the bottom of the bowl.

Piyush came to say hello and I told her it was the last time we would be there at the dining room.  Then I saw Margaret leaving the room.  I called to her and she came over.  Margaret is someone my mother ate with every day for about 2-3 years and it's weird her reaction to my mother.  She acts as if she is not there, never looks at her and didn't say anything to her, but did ask me about her.  My mother, of course, had no clue who she was and just kept eating and picking "bugs" out of her soup.

The strangest, most surprising thing about Margaret is that she mentioned that Robert, a veterinarian we used to eat with, just celebrated his 102nd birthday.  She said "He's just doing great.  I'm 79 and not nearly as good as he is."  I always assumed Margaret was in her 80s and I still can't believe she's Walt's age!!!

My plan had been to take her to SuperCuts after lunch because she sorely needs a haircut and I wanted her to look nice and tidy when she moved into Eldervilla.  But I left my purse in her apartment when we went to lunch and I didn't think she could make it all the way back to the memory unit and then all the way back to the car...and even if she could, I wasn't sure I wanted to.

When we got to her apartment, I sat down to call the Atria beauty parlor again (there was nobody there yesterday) and found out they have an opening at 2 tomorrow, so that took me off the hook for SuperCuts.  When I turned around to look at her, she had taken off her shoes and was back in bed, so even if I wanted to try SuperCuts, she wouldn't have wanted to go.  But this will be better.  The timing is perfect and they can get her all fixed up and she won't sleep on the hair until that night, so it will be fresh for Eldervilla.

I was glad we didn't have to go to SuperCuts.  Days like this just take so much out of me, trying to deal with her dementia.  I had planned to go the CVS and buy toiletries for her but didn't have the energy.  I'll do that before I go to Atria.

When I left the memory unit, there was one woman letting us out the door whom I recognized and I told her that we would be moving her tomorrow.  She asked where we were going and when I told her she said her husband works there occasionally had has nothing but good things to say about it...and he loves Simba (the dog).  Another good review for Eldervilla!

When I got home, I had a call from Sandy about her arrival.  He's a like a few other people I know (like Mark, the guy who has helped us find this place) who won't let me finish sentence because he has to interrupt to give me his opinion but I got most of the information I wanted from him.  I'm so excited for this new adventure to start and sincerely hope that she will adjust.

Toenails, TB, and Turkeys

We have had so many people in and out of the house in the last few months that, with the aid of the magic button I bought which emits an ultrasonic sound that Polly can hear and humans can't, living with Polly has become much easier.  She barks when Ned comes, but not her "go away or I'll kill you" bark, her "oh it's you...give me a treat" bark that she gives both Walt and me when we come home.

She unquestioningly accepted both Walt's brother and sister, and also Jessica, our "on call" helper who comes when we need something and Ned's not around.  She even behaved herself when Mark, the guy from Seniorly, came.

So I've become rather blasé about her attitude toward visitors.  Today was an exception.  Ashley said she would come by and cut her nails and as soon as I opened the door Polly was in full "kill her" mood and even the magic button only caused her to wince and then move far away and continue to bark.  Ashley has taken care of her so often I can't understand her attitude.  She hadn't even taken her clippers out to try to cut her toenails.

But eventually with lots of help from Walt and holding her in a better position (Ashley's a pro) the nails got cut, but Polly was definitely not happy about it.

In the afternoon, I took my mother back to Kaiser to get a chest x-ray.  It was faster than the TB skin test and I could move my mother to Eldervilla sooner since we would have the results back in the morning. 

Oh I will be so glad when I don't have to go back to Atria to pick her up.  The staff seems to be mostly new (the director says no, but some people who have been there for years have rescheduled their time she says).  It didn't ring true for me and I asked the one holdover this morning and she said that yes, the staff is new.  I have not been impressed with the new staff and will be glad not to have to deal with them. 

We got the x-ray mostly easilyl but while we were sitting in the waiting room, a chatty woman joined us and happily asked me "do you like Mr. Trump?"  I said that I did not and she said "Oh dear...I love him"  Fortunately we were called for x-ray right about then.

 

On the way home I decided to drive through the cemetery since so many of the trees are in blossom.  These days my mother is less interested in trees and more interested in cars (she can't believe there are CARS parked on the street.  Everywhere.)  But I pulled over to take a picture of some of the trees and realized that the cemetery was alive with turkeys

At first I thought it was just these two,  but then there were dozens of young turkeys flocking across the road.

For a bit they blocked me into the cemetery as they paraded out across the exit and then headed off down the sidewalk to...who knows where?

My mother wasn't nearly as tickled about the turkeys as I was, but we were almost home, a place she had never seen before.  I called to have them come out and meet her, but as it was all afternoon, the phone was not answered  Fortunately someone was coming out to her car at the end of her shift, and she agreed to take my mother in.

One more day....one more day.

Tomorrow I think I will take her to lunch in the big dining room and hope we see my favorite waitress (or have all those servers been replaced too....?) and then take her for a haircut, since it's really too long and she should arrive at Eldervilla looking as neat and tidy as possible.

Busy Day

We were all going out today.  Ned and Walt were going down to the barber shop to get Walt a much needed haircut 

I was going to Atria, since the flu quarantine is now lifted and then off to the store to figure out what to have for dinner.

But first I ended up watching the memorial service for Natalie Corona, the 22 year old police officer killed in the line of duty last week.  The university memorial auditorium was packed with more than 6,000 people

Everything was very moving and a nice send off for this woman who had such a promising future ahead of her.

When the service was over, they were going to be processing down Anderson Rd. on their way to her home town, where she would be laid to rest.  Anderson Rd. is the street I have to drive down to get to Atria, so I left quickly, hoping to beat the motorcade, which I did.  But it was moving to see how many people lined both sides of the street as far as the eye could see. 

I found my mother sitting in the dining room, finishing lunch...but she was still wearing her bathrobe and no shoes.  That surprised me because I thought the aides were good about getting everyone dressed before they went to meals.

After we moved into the common room, she told me that she had no clothes and that she had not been able to wear clothes for several days.  Well, we walked down to her apartment, and of course her closet was full, so I helped her get dressed.

This was one of her less "with it" days and she could not understand what I meant when I told her to take off her bathrobe first.  Then she told me that they change her bed every day and she never knows what her bed is going to look like.  At that point I reminded her that the bed was the one she slept in with Fred and asked if she remembered Fred.  She laughed and said "of course!" but in an instant she said she thought she had been married and I mentioned Fred again, she couldn't remember who he was.

It was, as it usually is, a depressing visit but I left and headed off to Supercuts, where, after NINE months, I finally got my hair cut.

Then I hit the supermarket where I first saw what would be our dinner tonight.

I got home and found Walt and Ned.  Walt had indeed gotten a haircut and looked better than he has in a very long time.

For dinner we had squash soup and the crab.  Ned has decided he is going to try to like fish which he has hated all of his life.  And, to give him credit he did eat a little crab, liberally topped with Sriracha sauce and pronounced it "not horrible."

We're still working on the ideal sleeping arrangement for Walt but Ned did a lot of arranging and rearranging today and maybe tonight will be better for him.

Halloween for Old Folks

For those intrigued by my comment about pumpkin pies yesterday and who have not heard the story, here is a link to the home movie.

This is the decoration outside the door to the Memory Care Unit at Atria:

I found macabre humor in the idea of skeletons hanging on this particular wing of Atria, where everyone is--let's be honest--waiting to die.

I did take exception to the scarecrow sitting in the chair across from this display.

She's sitting in the chair where I sit while waiting for someone to come and let me into the locked unit.  Harumph.

There are a few skeletons and pumpkins hanging along the halls, but I suspect nobody knows what day it is and has no concept of Halloween.  I know my mother didn't, when I went to see her yesterday.

I hadn't seen her in almost a week but fortunately she didn't realize that.  I told her about my fall and how my back hurt too much to walk the long walk down to the Memory Care unit (the back is fine now, by the way) and she was solicitous, which interrupted any feelings she might have had about my not being there in such a long time.

The visit was back to the usual discussion of age, how old she is, she can't be that old, etc. She asked me what I had been doing with "Mom" lately.  She misses her mother so much and occasionally thinks she sees her, though it's not in a hallucination sort of way, but more when she is asleep.  Of all the relatives who have gone before her, her mother is the one she most wants to see again.  She never mentions her father.

She talked about how many activities there were to do at Atria and smugly and proudly let me know that she never participated in ANY of them.  That always makes me sad, knowing how many opportunities she missed since she moved to Atria.  She wouldn't even go to the theater to see a movie, she was so uncomfortable, afraid she would do something wrong--and this was when she had it all together mentally!

I remember how involved she was in so many things when she lived alone.  Her calendar had an activity for every day of the week, it seemed.  Lunches, fashion shows, meetings, volunteer work.  But she lived in the mobile home park for a long time -- maybe 20 years? -- and never participated in any of the many activities there and refused to get to know her neighbors, so maybe this isn't so much a dementia/Alzheimers thing as it is a personality thing.  Still it seems a shame that she never took advantage of anything she was paying big bucks to have available to her!

Alzheimers Buddies

Several weeks ago, we received an invitation from Atria to come to an "Alzheimers Buddies" brunch on October 8.  I called to RSVP but nobody that I could find had heard of it.  I asked my old friend Brianna, who is in charge of the facility, and she didn't know anything.  She apparently knows nothing of what goes on in memory care.

I sent an e-mail to Jen, who is in charge of memory care, asking about the brunch and saying we had RSVPd.  Jen never answers e-mail, so I did not hear back from her, but when I called this morning to find out if there really WAS an Alzheimers Buddies brunch and was assured that yes, there was.  I still wasn't sure what it was all about.

Unfortunately, I had completely forgotten about it and had already eaten a full breakfast, but Walt had not so he was ready for a brunch.  They said to come at 11.

At 11, we arrived and I asked about the brunch and was told there are "a lot of people in the dining room."  The dining room was closed but when I went in the back way I could see a long table and no other people.  There were a lot of people (including my mother) in the common room.  My mother seemed to be chatting with a young woman an smiling at a child who was also in the room.  I didn't want to interrupt that rare social interaction, so I sat in the empty dining room with Walt.

Finally Ali, one of the aides, whom I really like, told us what was going on.  There is a club at UCD that has made it its project to interact with people in Alzheimers units.  Once a week, they will come and visit their assigned person and try to make a connection.  Nice idea.

The brunch apparently was just to get us all together, buddies with family with Alzheimers clients to have kind of a "family" feel to it all.  I actually only saw two other families, in addition to ours, and they said that not all the buddies could come, so there weren't enough to go around.

They finally invited us all in to the dining room.  My mother was very confused.

.....but in truth, so was I!  They said that the buddies would go and get lunch for their partners and I guessed that "family" was to get their own lunch.

Someone came around and poured drinks for the Alzheimers patients and ignored the family.  They got everyone at the far end of the table fed and we were still waiting ... and as I have said before, my mother does not wait well.  She kept asking what we were doing and saying she didn't understand any of it.

I took some pictures and finally got a picture of her roommate, Marge.  I have never understood a single thing Marge has said and if you ask her something, or tell her something, she answers in a complete non-sequitur.  I don't know if she understands at all.

However, when I took this picture, I was interested to see the two watches on her wrist.  You may remember that some time ago, I ran into Marge's daughter who said that her mother had been "shopping" again.  She was holding a fancy necklace and her daughter was going to see if she could find out who it belongs to.  Marge is comfortable just walking into any room and helping herself to what she finds.  I actually don't mind because my mother has nothing of value and if Marge wants it, I'm not going to make a fuss.

But her watch has been missing for a long time.  I was kind of glad it got "lost" because it doesn't work and she checked it often and drove me nuts trying to figure out what the time is  Today, i discovered that it got "lost' on Marge's wrist.  I kind of suspected as much and she can have it as far as I'm concerned, but I found it humorous to see the long-lost wrist-watch on Marge's wrist.

Food finally came and my god you'd think they thought they were feeding stevedores!

My mother's plate (left) came heaped high with food.  I knew it was overwhelming for her and I got another plate and removed at least half of it (right) before she could start eating.  It reminded me of those Air Force Thanksgiving meals Walt used to talk about, with several courses all piled on top of each other, with a slice of pumpkin pie on top.  The slab of roast beef, which she didn't want, was the size of a man's shoe!  

But once I got the plate down to what looked like a big meal, but a manageable one, she actually finished almost everything but her vegetables (which surprised me because that's usually the thing she most eats.  Or used to be.

I didn't eat nearly as much and they had to throw away most of my meal, but I was still full from breakfast.  Walt managed to finish his.

When came time for dessert, they again skipped Walt and me and I had to ask for dessert.

I still don't know what this all accomplished, but it was a nice brunch, the "buddies" seem nice and dedicated and maybe it will give my mother a bit more socialization in the future.  They seem intent on getting people more active.

From the Archives

As I have said many times, I am easily distractible, which is why this "straightening up" project is not happening.  Yesterday I was going to Get Serious about it.  But thefirst thing I picked up was a folder in which are a copies of letters I wrote to my friend Phil Dethlefsen in May and June of 1979  I don't have a clue why only those two months.

Phil's partner was the Lamplighters leading tenor during those days and Phil and I got to be friends because he had a lot of health problems and it seemed like he was forever hospitalized, so I started writing to him.  It evolved into my writing to him every day, sometimes more than once a day.  Somewhere I probably have a big folder of many, many letters over the years, but this is just a handful of them. 

Phil is dead now, as is his partner.  The friendship died in 1986.  Well, Phil's partner killed it the week Gilbert died.  Phil, whose last words to me were "don't worry about him.  I'll take care of it" was never heard from again an I suspect that they even changed their phone number (but I never tried to call it).  It was ugly...ugly...ugly (at one point Phil's partner sent a message via a mutual friend that I shoud go f**k myself) and the most hateful thing that had ever happened to me until Peggy came along.  But I digress.

It was interesting reading through these old letters and gives a good picture of all the kids during that time.  Jeri would have been 13 when I was writing, which would make Ned 12 and on down to David, who would have been 7.  Here are some of the things that kept me reading and not cleaning up.

Ned is indeed a challenge but the one advantage of dealing with him over, say, dealing with Jeri is that with Ned there is never any question about when he is feeling upset, what he is feeling upset about, or whether or not you are getting through to him.  With Jeri, she is so closed that you never know even IF she is unhappy about something.  But Ned's whole body scream it loud and clear and even if he shuts you out completely (as he did yesterday when I wouldn't take his side in the pitching debate) you can still pretty accurately read his needs.  Or a least it seems that way to me--I suppose I have to wait until he grows up to know for sure if I'm right .....

Ned and I just had our daily argument.  This one even sillier than the others that we have.  David and Tom are talking abut having a Kool-Aid stand this afternoon.  David told Ned that he would have to buy Kool-aide and that they wouldn't give him any. Ned came to me and said that it wasn't fair because when he had a cool aide stand, he gave some to tom and David and they didn't have to buy any.  I told Ned that I wouldn't talk abut it now because if we argued about it, which we would certainly do, we'd just have to argue abut it again when/if the stand became a reality and I didn't want two arguments in one day--and that it was silly to argue about something that might not even happen.  This was the basis for the argument which ended with his=me storming upstairs to go fold laundry and Ned slamming out of the house in a huff.  I don't know why we set each other so vehemently and so constantly....Now that I think of it, Jeri and Seymour (our dog) are a lot alike.  I was thinking of some way to compare Jeri to something and Seymour came to mind immediately.  I watched my father yesterday.  He was bound and determined to make friends with Seymour.  Well, you just don't do that to Seymour.  You can't talk to her, chirp at her, coo and cajole and expect her to warm up to you.  You have to leave her alone and let her make her advances in her own time.  Jeri is just the same.  We very seldom have any physical affection between us--Jeri just doesn't like it.  But I stopped attempting it long ago and that has had its rewards.  Last night she was so terribly upset about the play being over and she came downstairs and sat in m lap for about 15 minutes crying and talking it out.  She almost never does this, but when she does it's very special--and if you try to approach her on something like that, you just don't get anywhere and you spoil the somewhat delicate balance that your relationship hangs upon.

Strange how different kids are.  There is quiet, reserved Jeri.  Then we have volatile, bombastic Ned.  Paul, Tom and David all fall in between, with David closer to Ned than anyone else.  Tom requires a lot of love, a lot of physical affection and likes more than anything else to just sit here talking to me all afternoon.  Paul neither requires nor shuns affection.  It's just something which happens or not, depending on the situation  Of all the kids, he and I probably think the most alike and we have a nice chummy relationship.  I wonder what they are all going to be like when they grow up.

Well, I have the answer to that finally.  Jeri is much more affectionate the approachable than when she was 13  Ned is still as bombastic and we still have our regular arguments, though maybe fewer now that I let things go and he seems to be making an effort too.

I wonder what David and Paul would have been like in their 40s. We'll never know, but at the time of his death, Paul and I were still very close and the day he died he called on the phone, like he did every day, and asked me "do you think it's weird that I call my mother every day?".  I guess the one who has changed the most is Tom, who is too busy to sit and chat all afternoon, though he is still very physically affectionate and a real good guy.  I watch him as a father and it makes me feel like I must have done something right because he's the father I wish I had had.

---

I had lunch at Atria today. We had "avocado stuffed shrimp" ...

What is circled is about 1 Tbsp of smashed avocado...that's all the avocado in the dish; hardly "avocado-stuffed."  Then for dessert we had "banana cream pie."

This "pie" is a cake with what looks like a lot of banana pudding piled on top of it, with two slices of banana and then faux whipped cream.  The topping all slid off the cake before we could eat it.  It was tasty, but it was not my idea of "pie" at all.

Gourmet meals at Atria.

Today at Logos

In the morning I had lunch with my mother.  I had to laugh at her half of cheese sandwich.

That is a HUGE lettuce leaf that was folded in about fourths and stuck on her sandwich under the cheese.  The wad of lettuce was easily half again as thick as the rest of the things in the sandwich, to say nothing of the big bulk of the actual fold.  I sometimes wonder what goes on in that kitchen.  I didn't stay long this time, because of having to work at Logos, but just packed up her dirty laundry and came home.

Today was L minus 4.  Only 4 more work days before my days at Logos end.  It's a bittersweet thing to contemplate on one hand, but on another nice to think of "having my Thursdays back."

Today wasn't as busy as last week, but still busy.  The first customer greeted me like a long-lost friend and commented that it had been a long time since we'd seen each other.  We had a nice chat about Atria and her friend with dementia.  When she left I still didn't have a clue who she was. She did buy a contemporary fiction and the woman with her, who must have been her mother (because they looked so much alike), bought 2 contemporary fictions.

The guy I call "Pete Seeger" was in checking out books in anthropology and music but didn't buy anything today.

A tall young man with a yellow shirt that had something about McGurkin and Colorado, but his jacket covered up the rest.  He left his backpack on the chair while he browsed and came back with a contemporary fiction called "Moo" and a math book about future something or other.

An African American woman with a man I assumed was dark skinned Indian, since he had those Indian-from-India features.  They looked in the children's room and were disappointed not to find a book of Grimms fairy tales or anything by Hans Christian Anderson, since their son loves fairy tales.  I have to keep reminding people that we are a used book store and our stock depends on what people donate.

Jeri and Phil dropped by, followed by their friend Sarah and we all had a nice chat.  Jeri bought a book by Ann Patchett, her current favorite author, and Sarah, who used to own her own catering business bought 3 books on food and a book by Mark Twain

The store was filling up and I hadn't seen this cute little dog come in.  He was with a woman and a tall man in a black cowboy hat.  The dog shrank back with his ears flat whenever the man talked to him.  I wondered if he were a battered dog.

A mom with 4 adult children came in.  All looked around and mom bought a novel called "Samurai." Then they all left.  Soon one of the daughters returned with a bargain book and when she went back outside, another daughter came into buy a bargain book by James Patterson..

A man bought a copy of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and a book of cartoons.

A man in a red plaid jacket bought two history books -- one on the Balkans and one on historical fashion of the Renaissance.

A physicist who has been in before bought 7 physics books and paid in cash, pulling money out of his very ragged wallet made from duct tape and patched many times.

I had called Harrison, the store manager when Susan and Peter are out of town, to ask if he could relieve me a bit early.  We had decided to do another family movie night, this time seeing La La Land at the theater just a block from Logos.  This movie had a bit more of a crowd than last night's Rogue One.   It also had a better plot, more hummable music, and nothing exploded, so I liked it better.  Strange new-fangled musical, but with the most incredible opening scene you are ever going to see!

The movie ended at 8;10 and the sushi place where we planned to eat dinner closed at 9, so we rushed over there and had some delicious sushi.

Then home to watch Jeopardy, after which everyone but me headed off to bed, which I am about to do myself.

The Memory Unit

Today we finally had another Big Meeting at Atria, to go over a few points, get a progress update, and tour the memory facility.  Walt and Ned came with me.  It's always comforting to have reinforcements!

The first item was the large statue broken by the workmen during the recent lengthy renovation.  I told them it had no special significance and if there were any sentimental value, my mother no longer remembered it  I would like it thrown out, but just wanted it to be known that I was very upset about how it was handled (or not handled). 

The General Manager wants to replace it.  God no!  We definitely don't need that, but he wants to do something for us, so I suggested he let us all come for Christmas dinner the day or two after Christmas, as Tom et al. will be here.  If Jeri and Phil come it could be as many as 12 people for dinner and he readily agreed.  So we're all good about the broken statue.

They tell me that she has been off the narcotic she was taking for pain for several weeks now, which I'm thrilled about, since she is still having some pain, but nothing like it was for so long.  She's not in agony any more.

They also think she's not ready for the memory unit but that there may be a day when she is.  I asked for a tour. 

I'm not sure what I was expecting.  Maybe something like the convalescent hospital Walt's mother was in before she died where all she had was a bed and a TV and two roommates.  My mother would hate that.

But I was pleasantly surprised.  I expected it to be depressing, but it was not at all. The first thing I noticed about the place was how bright and airy it was.  The community areas are open and inviting (unlike where she is now) and right next to the dining room, so it seems more conducive to social interaction.

It is set up so if someone wants to "wander" they can go outside and the path they follow takes them back inside again.  They can't get out of the locked facility.

(I found these two photos on the internet. They are Atria facilities, but not the Davis facility, but look very similar.)

Residents live in 2-person "suites," which means a shared bathroom in the middle and bedrooms on either side, but otherwise privacy, and room is significantly larger than I expected.  I could see my mother doing well there.  Moving her out of her apartment would necessitate getting rid of lots of the "crap" that bothers her so much (mostly photos) and she could start all over in a pristine environment.

But not yet.  She isn't at that stage yet, they tell me, though they do see her needing to move eventually. A big factor is the cost, which is significantly more than she is paying now.  If we knew how many more rent payments she was going to have to pay in her life, it would be easier to decide what she can afford, but we don't know that.  When she moved in there, I think the rent for the memory unit was something like $6,000 a month and there have been 3 rent raises since then, so lord knows what they pay now.  Her stepson figured, 3 years ago, that she could afford to live at Atria until she was 103.  But if she moves into the memory unit, obviously we'd have to knock her off before that.

After our tour, we went to visit my mother, who was sound asleep at 1:30.  We woke her up and she came to quickly when she knew Ned was there.  He's so good for her and with her!

When we finally left Atria, I went off to the store to buy fixings for Thanksgiving dinner. My heart is only partially in it, since it will be only my mother, Walt and me.  Ned and Marta are spending the dinner with Marta's family, who have invited us to join them, but whether she cares or not, knows what's going on or not, it's important to me to spend these last holidays with my mother.  And she definitely does not do crowds of people she knows, much less a house full of strangers.

For the last several years, we get to this part of the year and I just want it to be January.  The holidays were always such a HUGE family time for most of my life and it kills me that we are so separated and that there are only three of us to "celebrate" this week.

Christmas #1

This is a year when our "Christmas" will be spread over several days.  Today was the day to have Christmas with Ned, who will be in Jamaica with Marta, Jeri & Phil and Walt's sister and brother-in-law.  It sounds like they are going to have a wonderful week there, with private beach, someone to drive them around the island and even, he thinks, the villa decorated for Christmas.

We made arrangements to have dinner with my mother tonight.  I wanted to be sure to send the Christmas packages for everyone with Ned.  He said "make them small" and they were...very small, other than his complete Breaking Bad CD set, which he opened tonight.  I knew he didn't need to take that with him to Jamaica.

Ned and Marta gave Walt and me the perfect Christmas gift:  They donated several dog beds and blankets to their local animal shelter in our name.  Nothing could possibly be more satisfactory.

We visited a bit and my mother apologized several times for having nothing to serve us because she didn't know we were coming (yes, I called her and let her know about 2 hours before we were going to get there).  There was a gift bag there with a book in it (but no gift card) and she doesn't know how it got there or who gave it to her, so if anybody who reads this brought it, please let me know!

We went off to the restaurant and had a lovely dinner, which ended with big chunks of coconut cream pie.  My mother didn't order any but Ned said they would share, which seemed to work for her.

After dinner we walked back to her apartment.  I just love this photo.  I have a similar one of my aunt Barb walking to her apartment with her daughter.

Back at the apartment, Ned pulled out the "travel guitar" he has borrowed to take to Jamaica since he doesn't want to pack his big guitar.  He surprised me by playing "I have a song to sing-o" from Gilbert & Sullivan's Yeoman of the Guard.  I didn't know he knew it!

My mother seemed to enjoy it.

We had gone to dinner at 5 so by the time we got back and visited a bit and decided to leave it was just slightly after 6...an early evening!   But it was a low key Christmas and since we pulled it on her kind of as a surprise, she didn't have time to get sick to her stomach worrying about "entertaining."

I probably won't even tell her that Tom et al. are going to come to see her on Christmas day because either she will get sick with worry, or forget anyway.  Better let it be a surprise.  Walt and I have decided to have dinner at Atria Christmas night, since we can't find a Chinese restaurant that is going to be open that night (which says good things about the consideration the owners of such restaurants have for their employees).

Abject Apologies

I feel I owe all the readers of Funny the World and, indeed everyone in the country a huge apology.

You see, this country is in a big mess.  We are fighting the longest war in our country's history, our infrastructure is shot, children are starving, people are homeless, idiots are scrambling to see which can ruin the country better and faster than the next guy and I suddenly realized it is all my fault.  My fault for being so stingy.

Looking at just my g-mail over the past year, the mail I hadn't deleted (and I delete most mail), for a mere $3, I could have...

• Supported Donna Edwards for Senate in Maryland.
• Saved Planned Parenthood
• Helped Elizabeth Warren plan a training session for local elections
• Defeated the Republicans (fill in the blink on which issue)
• Re-elected Oregon Senator Jeff Merkley
• Cured Alzheimers
• Made big, bold, economic-populist ideas central in 2016
• Kept Daily Kos alive
• Sent a big Thank You to Jimmy Carter
• Stopped Comcast's takeover of California
• Let the FCC enact net neutrality
• Supported Bernie Sanders' Rebuild America Act
• Banned fracking
• Got Doritos to adopt a responsible palm oil policy
• Helped break Citigroup into pieces
• Help Pope Francis remodel the Vatican bathrooms

Bear in mind that I have both a .dcn account and a .gmail account and that I delete 90% of the "give just $3" messages and that I only checked gmail and there is just no end to the other things I could have done if only I'd been willing to let go of that magic $3.

There is inflation, though, and lately to save the whales, the Democrats, Planned Parenthood, or the polar bears now costs $5.  I probably won't give that either.

So I'm sorry if the world is in such a sorry state.  It's because I'm such a selfish bitch and refuse to part with $3 every time I get a message telling me what I can fix for only $3 (I often get several requests a day).

@@@@@

Today is Wednesday, Atria lunch day.  I woke my mother up at 11:30 when I arrived at her door and at the end of lunch at 12:45, she was ready for a nap.  (She's old, you know)

However, lunch was a delight.  We sat with Robert the 98 year old retired veterinarian/author who is quite garrulous, but very, very hard of hearing.  When we sat down, he was quiet and rubbing his eyes.  He says he has macular degeneration and his doctors tell him he's going blind.  He was obviously very dejected.  He mentioned how his deteriorating eyesight made writing difficult, and how he writes stories each week to read there at Atria.

I asked him what kind of stories.  He smiled and said "very eclectic."  Then he started talking about the kinds of stories he wrote, which evolved into a travelogue of all the places around the world he and his wife had visited along with observations of each country, then onto his genealogical research and his British relatives.  

When a lull finally came in his narrative, he smiled a big smile and said that when he got to lunch he was very down and depressed and that our conversation had lifted his spirits--told my mother I was better and cheaper than a psychiatrist--and that he was going back to his apartment before he got depressed again.

So I feel I did some good at Atria today!

I also contacted the resident services director at Atria, who will take care of my mother's medication reminders while we are gone on our cruise next month, so I feel relieved about that.

A good day.  Maybe while I'm on a roll, I'll find a worthy organization to pledge $3 to this afternoon....

Inedible

I remember when the food at Atria was pretty good most meals.  Now it's good occasionally.  Today's lunch was inedible.  First I had an argument with my mother.  She hardly eats anything now.  Her lunch every day is vegetable soup (and she never eats the veggies, just the broth) and fruit salad.  Today they offered clam chowder, her favorite soup, as an option but she decided she just wanted fruit and ice cream.  I tried to get her to eat more, but she can be stubborn as a bull dog.  I'm just going to give up and add a vitamin to her medication routine, so at least she gets SOME nutrition.  She feels weak so much of the time that I can't believe her decision not to eat isn't part of it!

I had the entree of the day, which was fish tacos with pico de gallo.  It took forever for the food to be delivered (which has become par for the course especially with new wait staff, which there always seems to be these days).  The taco finally arrived, barely warm, soggy on the bottom, tasteless...and no pico de gallo.  It took forever to get the attention of the waitress and I asked if there was supposed to be pico de gallo.  She said "they decided not to put them on the plates" and said she'd see if she could get some for me.  The refried beans were barely warm and crusty, like they were dished up hours before. I didn't even taste the rice.

My mother did, indeed, have the fruit and an "ice cream puff" which was about a tbsp of ice cream on a cold cream puff that had been cooked too long (from the look of it).  It didn't even look appetizing...and I love ice cream.  

At one point today she turned to me and said "your hair is growing."  She's happy that I have hair now.  Then she said "It's coming in curly....darn it."  My mother has hated my hair my whole life.  Oh, she didn't hate it. She loved it, but she hated that I had curly hair and she didn't.  I cannot tell you how many times I have heard her greet me with "LOOK at that hair.  That's disgusting!" I know that in her mind it was a compliment, but all I heard...for most of my adult life, until I had a hissy fit and she stopped doing it, was that she was disgusted every time she looked at me.  Today, again, she complained that I got my father's hair and she always wanted curly hair.

Not much I can do about that.  She didn't like it when I had no hair, so that wasn't a solution either!

When the waitress was involved with other tables and showing no desire to get pico de gallo, I told my mother the meal was inedible and I just wanted to leave.  She argued with me that I should stay and finish my lunch and that she didn't mind waiting.  I explained again that I didn't want the food because it was inedible and she acted very huffy, but agreed to leave.  I didn't stay with her, but packed up her laundry and came home.

I've just been in a pissy mood since yesterday's kerfuffle over "losing" her at Atria.  Of course it wasn't her fault.  I knew she wouldn't remember when I told her I was coming for lunch, but I never thought she'd go to lunch early....or that she would be so totally unemotional at my state at thinking she was lost.  She knew where she was.

But then the headlines today have been so terribly, terribly depressing.  There's that idiot dentist who killed the lion.  Tonight I saw pictures of him with the bear he killed (he was fined for that...it also was illegal), with a cheetah he killed, with a rhino he killed (aren't those endangered?) and with a huge horned elk he killed.  If they don't throw the book at him for this lion business next thing he will be killing will be an elephant and then I'll really be upset.

There was also a guy arrested the other day.  He tossed a lit firecracker to his dog, who happily caught it and was bringing it back when it blew up and blew away his face, as well as killing him.  How can people be so cruel to animals.

At least the public gets incensed enough at these animal torture things that the authorities actually do something about it, unlike when real people die.  Did you know that at least five young black women died in jail in July? Raynetta Turner in Mt. Vernon, New York was arrested for shoplifting, was put in a holding cell, and found dead 12 hours later.  Sandra Bland in Texas was found hanging in her cell three days after she was arrested for failing to signal a lane change.  Kendra Chapman in Alabama was arrested for stealing a cell phone and supposedly committed suicide.  Joyce Curnell was also arrested for shoplifting and found dead in her cell the next day. Ralinka Jones was taken to jail in Cleveland Heights after a physical dispute with her husband. She was taken to a medical facility for seeming lethargic, returned to her cell and found dead a few hours later.

In South Dakota, a Nativie American woman was arrested on a bond violation following a DUI.  She reported being in extreme pain and the police told her to quit faking.  A few hours later she was dead in her cell.

Another Native American, Rexdale W. Henry, 53, was arrested for failure to pay a traffic fine on July 9. Five days later, on July 14, Henry would be found dead in a Neshoba County, Mississippi jail cell.

In Staten Island, New York, four police officers dragged a gay man out of the home he shared with his 66 year old mother and violently beat him while yelling homophobic slurs.  The reason for the police?  Earlier in the evening his brother came home drunk and the two men had a loud argument, and the neighbors called the police.  But the brother was gone by the time the police arrived and they still dragged him outside and threatned to kill his dog. The man had recently had surgery on his foot and he begged them to watch out for the foot, and they stomped on it.  Fortunately for him, neighbors across the street videotaped the whole thing, so there is no dispute about what happened.  The attack left him with two black eyes, a broken nose, cuts to his face and body, and he required new foot surgery.

How many of these human deaths will receive the same degree of outrage that we have seen about Cecil the Lion?  No wonder I'm in such a rotten mood today.

Today at Logos

First the good news.  I had a wonderful lunch at Atria today.  My mother wasn't in her apartment when I got there, so I went to look for her at the dining room and imagine my surprise to find her in one of those conversation corners talking with her friend Loretta.  The three of us went to lunch together.  Loretta is just the perfect friend for my mother.  They are both at about the same stage of their dementia, and both have deteriorated in the 2 years my mother has been there.  They don't have a clue what each other's name is and couldn't make arrangements to meet anywhere if their lives depended on it, but they have the same kind of caustic sense of humor and I love sitting there and watching the two of them insulting each other (and me) and giggling like school girls. If I were to mention Loretta to her tomorrow, she wouldn't have a clue who I was talking about, but when their paths cross they remember that they are friends and they enjoy their time together.

It was a fairly busy day at Logos today.  Sandy was upset because she'd had her first SNAFU with our new credit card machine and overcharged a customer, but she figured out how to fix it, and Susan told her she'd done the right thing.

The first customer who walked in after I took over could have been me if I wore an electric purple sleeveless tank top and dyed my hair red.  She was with a friend, who bought a book of crab recipes (I told her about our anniversary party)  The purple lady bought 2 Philippa Gregory books.

Next came a guy who was probably Italian, looking for old magazines.  I told him we didn't have any and he was disappointed that I could only direct him to places that sold new magazines, because he wanted old ones.

Another guy came in wearing long shorts (maybe Bermuda shorts) and a shocking  orange T shirt with the AmGen bike race logo on it.  The back of it said "Volunteer."  He had a baseball cap and a short pony tail, dirty white trainers and socks without elastic at the top, so they slid down and bunched up around his ankles.  We talked about how pleasant the weather was today.  He didn't buy anything, but he waved as he left.

Jim, the guy who was an old Lawsuit fan, came in with his daughters and a box of books to donate.  The girls each picked out a book and either one of them left hers behind, or she got a different book.  I set the book aside with his name on it.

A guy bought a book on Existentialism and the card reader at first didn't want to read the chip in his credit card.  I must remember to ask Susan if there is a way to enter the card number manually in cases like this.  I finally got it to work, though.

A woman bought a Jodi Picoult book but two students looking for "Flowers for Algernon" (they told me, after consulting their phones), didn't find it and left without making a purchase.

A couple, both wearing shorts (hers very short denim with unraveled edges) hunkered down to check the notice board in front, then they wandered around and eventually she bought 2 art books and a Literature book.

Two women were outside at the bargain table squealing with delight over what they were finding for only $1 each.  They eventually bought "Eat, Pray, Love" and one other book and left very happy campers.

The credit card machine ran out of paper mid-transaction and it took a few minutes to remember how to change the roll.  The cash register was also nearly out of paper, but it lasted till the end of my shift.

I spied two bald men standing at the table at the front of the store, with their backs to me. One was wearing a nicely pressed white dress shirt and black pants and had a bag slung over his arm.  I expected them to break into songs from Book of Mormon, but then as I watched their body language, my gaydar tingled and I began to suspect they were a couple.  When one came up to buy a book of poetry, my gaydar was proven right again.

A tall man dressed all in black, with a full short black beard and bushy black hair was looking at Sci Fi books and when he turned toward me I could see that his shirt said "May the mass times acceleration be with you."  I thought it was clever.  He bought "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

My friend showed up at 4:30 and asked me how our trip to Santa Barbara had gone.  He bought a very heavy book on Architecture.  We decided that at $7. the per pound price was pretty good but he did buy a bag to take it with him because it was so heavy.

A guy working for the company that owns the building came in and asked if he could measure it.  He took a long time and I think went into every nook and cranny, but did get his measurements, I guess.  He said he was measuring all of the realtor's buildings for something about insurance.

An interesting couple came in, he wearing a green "Beer City" (Minnesota) t-shirt and she in bright chartreuse / yellow shorts.  They were very colorful.

A kind of obnoxious guy in a Black Bear Diner cap settled himself in to chat, which was awkward because the store was full at that time.  Also he was talking with me about books he had read about people's travels and I couldn't understand much of what he said.  He was thrilled, though to find a book about Frank Lloyd Wright that he had been looking for.  He finally left and then returned to buy a book of speeches.

A woman with a very unique looking patchwork skirt in tans and reds with a matching red scarf came in.  I was going to compliment her on her outfit but she left without buying anything.

One of the gay guys came back.  He said they had planned to go to Sacramento to dinner, but took a look at the traffic and decided not to so he came back to browse some more.  He bought a book called "Gymnastics and Tumbling."

My last customer before Susan arrived was a woman who was probably a vet med tech because she was wearing scrubs in a penguin pattern and had her hair in a tight bun which looked like it had been through a strenuous day of work.  She looked through sci fi for awhile but didn't buy anything.

Susan finally arrived and by the time I'd finished giving her a work report and telling her about our anniversary and the trip to Santa Barbara, Walt was there and we headed home, in time for Jeopardy.

Today at Logos

I almost didn't make it to Logos today, thanks to having lunch at Atria.  First, I sat with my mother for about 20 minutes and decided she'd been taking lessons from Henry Higgins.  Remember, he tells Eliza, when he's ready to take her to Ascot, to stick to two subjects:  the weather and her health.  We went back and forth from "is it hot outside?" to "I'm old, Bev" and then "I know it's hot because no leaves are moving on the trees," to "will I live to be hunnert?" to "now a leaf is moving so it must be a little cooler."  And on and on and on.

Then we went to what I can only call the worst lunch I've ever had at Atria.  First, we sat with a woman who is so deaf she can't hear what you shout at her, and a woman for whom English is not her first language, so there wasn't much conversation except my mother surely asked me 25 times what I was doing this afternoon.  Once she asked if she and I were doing something together this afternoon.

But lunch was a patty melt, something I like, except the bread for this was as hard as a crostini, the meat was just warm, and if that pale yellow thing on top of the meat was Swiss cheese, you couldn't prove it by me.  The bread was soaked in some sort of oil or butter and then it tasted like it had been sitting in the warming oven for hours.  I only ate half of mine (and I only had half a sandwich to begin with).  Then there was a cherry pie which I should not have finished because it was gooey and too sweet even for me.  By the time I got home, I was having terrible stomach cramps and if it had not been 40 minutes before my shift started at Logos, I would have called Susan and told her I couldn't work.

But I laid down on the couch for half an hour and felt more human when I got up.  Sandy told me I looked very pale.  But she stayed for about 40 minutes and we had a lovely chat about Atria (where her father died), the Davis schools, books, and the landscaping they have been doing to their home, which is now finished.  

Four customers came and purchased books while we were talking.  One woman bought 2 biographies, one of the Wright Brothers.  It was not the new book by David McCullough but she and Sandy discussed that book too.  One woman bought 2 contemporary fiction books, one from the literature shelves, and her male companion bought a children's book.  A woman bought 1 bargain book and 6 science fiction books.  She and Sandy discussed other authors.

I asked Sandy if she had read "The Goldfinch" and, like me, she has it on her Kindle but hasn't read it (I had it on my Kindle for 2 yrs before I read it).  She recommended "All the Light We Cannot See" by Anthony Doerr, which I mention here just so I won't forget the title when/if I decide to read it after I read the other hundred books waiting for me!  She also mentioned a book called "Geek Love," which sounds so strange I may have to put it on my "to be read" list.

Before she left I told her how frustrating it is for me when people come up with stacks of books and place them on the desk as far away from me as possible.  She said she noticed that too.  We thought maybe if we moved the bowl that the free bookmarks are in, people would then put the books down closer to us. So we did.

Sandy left and within seconds a woman with an armload of books came to the desk, moved the bookmark bowl out of the way, and stuck the books so far away from me I could hardy reach them.  So much for that idea!

The next customer was a woman who bought a dictionary for her daughter, who is starting to play on-line Scrabble, a book of Indian essays, and a book of photos of Wegman puppies.

A very tall stooped older man wearing a Cal Tech hat had 4 bargain books and then bought 4 more books by Wallace Stegner, one of the authors Sandy had recommended to the woman with whom she was discussing books.  

A guy with a Blood Source sticker and his arm wrapped up like they do after you give blood came in and that was good because I had forgotten I have an appointment to give blood at 10 a.m. tomorrow.  I thanked him.  He bought a Ray Bradbury book and a coffee table type book on Tolkien's world.

What with my stomach pains and general malaise when I left home, I had forgotten my bag in which I bring a cold bottle of water each week, so I took a quick drink of tap water because I was so thirsty and remembered why I hate Davis water.

A geeky couple came in and checked Fantasy, Sci Fi, music, and theater and asked if we had an astrology section  Then they left without buying anything.

A middle aged woman wearing a rosary as a necklace checked travel books and asked for something that I could not understand, even though she repeated it three times, each time softer (I guess figuring that the lower she talked the better I could hear!  I find this is what happens with a lot of customers who come up to talk with me.  If I can't understand them, they repeat, softer.)  I did get that it appeared to be a contemporary fiction book, so I directed her to that section, but she left empty handed.

At 4:44, I wrote the following in my notes:

My friend arrived right at 5 p.m. and bought a book of Victorian fairy tales (which I noted later that I had marked on the sale sheet as "fairy tails")

A guy who looked like Michael J. Fox, circa Family Ties but with a huge cowlick.  He was dressed in a white shirt that was pressed so that it almost looked like a dress shirt, and then sky blue shorts.  Neither he nor his girlfriend bought anything.

My last client of the day was wearing a Harvard Lacrosse t-shirt, but he didn't buy anything either.

Walt and Peter arrived.  Peter took over, and I was happy to find a bottle of water in the car.  I was very thirsty!

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

Today was a crazy day.  The plan was to leave for Santa Barbara sometime between 10 and 11.  But there was so much to be done first.  With first my computer problems and then Walt's computer problems (he's now dealing with the guru), and Jeri arriving, and so many shows to review and a feature article to write...things just kind of got away from us ... me, more than Walt, who has been doing the yeoman's share of getting the house cleaned up for Ashley and David to move in.

Jeri planned to go to Atria at 8 and have breakfast with my mother and then we would pick her up on the way out of town. But I was dubious about the "8" part.  She says she's always up at 7, but I don't believe it.  And, in fact, Jeri decided to make it 9, called her at 8:30 to let her know she was coming and woke her up.

While waiting, she made yet another attempt to make friends with Polly, who is much more willing to be friendly if food is involved, but the minute Jeri stands up, it's bark-bark-bark all the time again.

In the meantime I was still struggling with no Internet and trying to decide where I could go to post yesterday's journal entry...and then in a doh moment remembered that Atria has wifi, so I drove Jeri over to my mother's and planned to do the few things I had to do on the internet and then go home and finish the other things I had to do.

We took our annual "Grandma and Jeri" photo and Jeri had to take a Baldy and Grandma picture.

Unfortunately, the Atria wifi was being temperamental and I got this journal uploaded but it stalled when I tried to upload Airy Persiflage.  I completely forgot that I needed to e-mail the article I finished writing at 1 a.m. to the Enterprise.

I went off to the store and bought goodies for Ashley and then came home to call Omsoft Technical help.  I ended up practically in tears and pulling the "old age" card by wailing "Look.  I'm 72 years old and I just can't follow what you're saying," as he tossed question after question to me that I couldn't answer.  

Ultimately, he agreed to send someone out to fix the router, if Ashley will let him know when it's convenient for her.  In the meantime, Walt managed to connect the modem to the computer so at least my desktop has internet access and I could upload Airy Persiflage and send my article to the newspaper.

I wrote a long note to Ashley telling her about certain things and then discovered that when Steve set up the new computer, he set the printer to be wireless, which means I can print from any wireless device, but I can't print if there is no wifi.  So I left the note on the computer screen and left Ashley a note to check the screen to read it!

There was still the house to be cleaned.  Walt was working like a champ, gathering mountains of dog hair and dustbunnies, changing the linens on the guest bed and anything else that needed to be done.  I found the kitchen table under all the stuff piled on it, folded some laundry and did a little cleaning in the guest bathroom.  I also packed my suitcase and got ready to leave.

We finally got on the road at 1 p.m. and picked Jeri up at Atria.  The plan was to drive down I-5 and then cut over to 101 using Hwy 37 (the highway on which James Dean was killed--there is a small memorial to him there), which, in previous years, has presented a glorious display of wildflowers in wet years.  Someone had posted a photo on Facebook of an unbelievable field of poppies which looked like it was in the area I was thinking of.

Jeri had mentioned wanting to try 5 Guys for burgers for lunch and there are several locations along 101, but only two along I-5.  We tried our GPS to find the first one and though it got the address right, it led us to a cul de sac of private homes instead of a fast food joint.  We gave up and headed for the next one, which ended up being about 15-20 miles out of our way.  Jeri decided that since it was now about 3 p.m. and we still had about 6 hours of driving ahead of us, 5 Guys was not a priority.

We found a Carl's Junior, and as we pulled into the parking lot, I was checking my "boycott" list of businesses run by the Koch Brothers.  Carl's Junior was one of them, but at that point I decided I just didn't care.  I would give them my business.  But just this once.  (It was heartening, though, to see that of all the fast food joints in this particular area, this was the one with almost no customers)

When I returned from a trip to the ladies' room, Walt and Jeri looked so cute, I had to take their photo.

Just 90 miles until we turned off onto Hwy 37.  I got my camera ready.  It is an hour from I-5 to 101 and the wildflower place is about halfway, so I waited patiently.  And waited.  And waited.  There were no wildflowers.  Well, that's not true.  Jeri saw ONE poppy, but the colorful fields I had hoped to see were nothing but brown grass.  Such a disappointment.

But we continued our way down 101 to Santa Barbara and it was so good to get here finally.  Jeri got a chance to show Alice Nan and Joe the photos on her iPad from her record-shattering Boston winter.

And there is wifi here, so I don't have to deal with anything technological for two days.  In the morning we are going to watch Brianna play softball, which I know will be fun.

I hope my bald head doesn't scare the kids!