Around "The Home"

I was surprised when I approached Eldervilla today to see two police cars parked out in front.  As I got out of the car, one of the residents was being led by one of the police officers into the police car.  She stopped and waved at me.

Sandy came over and told me she had decompensated and had been attacking people for the past several days and he finally had to call 911, which sent the police to take her to the emergency room.

I went into the house and was pleased that Sandy stayed outside with the police and that my mother was lying in her bed in her room, which meant I might actually have a visit with HER and not with Sandy.

I had brought a Mothers Day package -- a small balloon, a card, a little planter with roses in it and a box of cinnamon rolls.  She, of course, didn't relate to "Mothers Day" but thought the card was pretty, though she struggled to read it.

Before long there was a knock on the door and there was Sandy, and my "visit," such as it was, with my mother was over.

 

I really like Sandy and I love his reports on how she is doing, but he just won't ever go away.  On the other hand, since my mother has such a difficult time with conversation, having Sandy there is a nice way to be with her and not try to get her to visit (which Ned and Jeri seem to do quite well!) 

There is a new resident in the home now, a guy named John, who has been there a week.  My mother is doing so well that she's no longer Sandy's #1 concern and he has been concentrating on John and the woman who was just sent off to the emergency room.

 

Even when my mother was showing me her card and talking about it, I had to divide my time between her and the video Sandy was trying to show me (which, actually was kind of cool--showing my mother sweeping the kitchen floor.  She has definitely found her "home" at Eldervilla!).  He says that her aggression is completely gone she she almost always makes it to either the bathroom or the commode in her room.  She obviously cares about him, as she holds his arm and puts her head on his shoulder, as she used to do to her "boyfriend" at Atria.

I time my arrivals to get there after lunch, but they ate lunch late today, after 1 p.m., and invited me to join them, so I had lunch at Eldervilla...some nice fried fish with corn and green beans, and chocolate covered blueberries, which Sandy passed out to those of us at the table.  It's not the restaurant type food from Atria, but more home cooking, and kind of nice.

Of the people there, Jeannie is my mother's "best friend" and the two of them like to sing together.

 

Jeannie was dressed up today because she had just gone out with her family.  Sandy tells me that she has no stomach and so they have to watch what she eats, but doctors said that people like her can't gain weight, and she has gained weight at Eldervilla.  Just like newcomer John, who could not walk when he moved in and is now walking fine.  Sandy definitely has the magic touch.

It wasn't like the Mothers Days of old, but we had a nice time together and I told Sandy I would be back next week.  He said that the affection my mother and I have for each other was helpful to her, and that the family of one of the other residents caused problems whenever they showed up, and he had to ask them to come less frequently.

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For my own mother's day, Walt gave me a nice card and fixed breakfast for me.  I had a nice long chat with Jeri, Ned (who is working all day at the University's Whole Earth Festival) posted a greeting on Facebook, and Tom called from Brianna's softball game.  No chance to chat with the girls, but I had a nice conversation with Tom.  Walt is taking me out to dinner so I don't have to cook on Mothers Day.

Mothers Day

Another Mothers Day is in the can, as they say.  And it was a nice day.  I slept until 8:30 and when I woke up, Walt was off at Mass because he's the good on in the family.

But when I got up, I found these lovely roses on the kitchen table and an envelope which I chose not to open until he got home.  I'm glad I waited because if the table were turned, I would have wanted to see his reaction when he opened it. 

I knew I had to share it, so I made a brief, 20 second video, if you're interested.

We went to Café Italia, where I have lunch with Kathy once a month and it was a very nice meal, which started with mimosas...

 

They have a special menu on Mothers Day, the only day you can get crab cakes Benedict, which are delicious.

 

 

While we were eating, a man came around with a big tray of chocolate covered strawberries only for the mothers.  Walt was not offered one.

 

It was just 11 a.m. when we finished and I decided that was too early to go to Atria, so we waited until 1 and then went to visit my mother . Each holiday that we share together, I wonder if it's going to be the last one.  Whether she is here next year or not, it really was the last video in this apartment.

 

Walt came with me this time and he got to see her when she is good, but making no sense in whatever she talks about.  She did spend a lot of time talking about the trees outside and that made her smile.

 

Since conversation was all but impossible, we didn't stay the full hour, but I did snap pictures of the furniture we want to donate because Habitat for Humanity is interested but wanted to see what we had to share.  I have to go back tomorrow anyway to pick up laundry, so I will visit more then.

Walt went up to the University to visit with Ned, who was working at the sound booth of the Whole Earth Festival, as he has done almost every year since the festival started (except for the years when Lawsuit performed there).  In the afternoon, after a nap, I had a nice chat with Jeri. 

Tom called in the evening, but the girls were too tied up with TV to do anything but wish me a happy Mothers Day.  However Tom told me they had gone to a stage version of Into the Woods in LA that afternoon. It was their first real stage show, and reports were that they loved it.  Makes me feel good!

I asked Walt if he would mind picking up dinner somewhere.  I had planned on cooking, but for some reason, my thigh muscles on both legs ached as if I'd just climbed a mountain, or performed 100 squat exercises, neither of which I had done.  I often have sore muscles (it's tough work to be a couch potato!), but this was worse than usual.  He agreed to go out to Panda Express for dinner and we enjoyed honey walnut shrimp, orange chicken, chow mein and fried rice.  I will try not to take it as a bad omen that my fortune cookie was empty.

So all things considered, it was really a pleasant Mother's Day and I am a happy mom, headed off to sleep.

Hurriedier

What's that old saying?  "The hurriedier I go, the behinder I get" ?  I was so proud of the albeit small progress I had made on The Cleanup until Ned came today.  Ned, bless his heart, worked like a demon all afternoon and he moved everything else except the things I use every day (my desk, computer, printer and the accoutrements that are piled on top of them) to the living room.

Now, bear in mind that my office is 12 x 15 feet and the living room is 15 x 22 feet.  This is how the living room looks now.

Ned kept the recliner (Lizzie's bed), the couch (my bed) and the straight
backed chair (Polly's bed) free.  

The only 3 pieces of furniture without something piled on it!

These pictures don't begin to do justice to how stuffed with stuff it all is.  There are two obvious questions to ask:  how did I fit all of this in my office to begin with, and how am I going to get it all back in again when it's time!

Ned has removed and dusted every book and scrapbook -- definitely no mean feat! -- and all I need to do is sort through it all.  All I need to do.

I was so proud of the progress I'd made this past week and the bit of plan I was beginning to imagine for how to arrange the office when it gets painted (yes, paint is included in the plans) and now it all looks overwhelming again.

When this project is finished, I'm going to have to send Ned on a cruise or something to thank him!

In the late afternoon, I went over to my mother's, mainly to make sure she didn't accidentally go to the dining room for dinner, when we planned to take her out for Chinese food.  Also to prepare her for going out.

She was in good spirits, unable to remember anything, of course (we went over at least 20 times or more what we were going to do and who was going to be there).  But despite the endless repeating, we had a good 2 hour visit.  At one point, when frustrated about something she complained that it's hard to be old and when I told her about a 102 year old man I heard recently who said he keeps from feeling old by staying active, she said "I don't complain about feeling old, do I?"  Then said she doesn't feel old.  And then a couple of minutes later she was complaining about how hard it was to be old again

But I had to laugh as she looked around her neat, orderly apartment and sighed that she just had to do something about all this stuff.  "You don't have clutter like this, do you?"  I just laughed.

Ned and Walt didn't make it over to Atria, as was the original plan so we met them at the restaurant, Ding How, a very small Chinese restaurant about 4 blocks from Atria.  She probably ate more tonight than I have seen her eat at Atria in three years.  She had crab wontons, chow mein, black mushrooms and broccoli, honey walnut shrimp, snow peas with water chestnuts, and pork fried rice.  She went back for seconds...and, amazingly, thirds on the rice, and seconds on the won ton.  I couldn't believe this was the woman who only wants a tiny bowl of fruit salad for lunch and when served vegetable soup never eats the vegetables because it's just too much for her to handle.

 When we drove her back to Atria, this time she didn't seem disoriented and unsure where to go when she entered the building.  That varies from time to time -- last time she seemed totally lost -- but today she just strode in confidently, turned and waved, and disappeared as she headed off to her apartment.

Naps for All

It felt like the end of some Bacchanalian festival, a gastronomic feast and we were all sated.  I groaned when my mother settled back into her chair and said "Did we have lunch yet?  Do we need to go the dining room?"


It was a nice Mothers Day, starting yesterday when Walt and I returned home from a show I was reviewing to find this lovely bouquet waiting for me from Tom, Laurel and the girls.

This morning Walt and the dogs all gave me cards (well...that's 2 cards.  One from Walt and one from the dogs)

I made myself (and Walt) chocolate croissants from Trader Joe's, always a special treat.

Jeri called in the late afternoon and we had a very nice chat.  Everyone send vibes to her that she is not selected for a jury panel tomorrow.  She's been sick all week, and is still sick, and she has papers to grade and a show to play tomorrow night.  Horrible time for jury duty!

And then Tom and the girls called later.  Brianna was all excited about the Vitamix that Tom had gotten Laurel for Mothers Day (lucky lady!).  Bri was all excited because they were going to make ice cream using it tonight.  I told Tom I had just written her story for the week, about how they came to invent ice cream, so it appears it is a timely story.

But in between all these other things there was brunch at Atria with my mother, Ned and Marta. I was so pleased I was able to get reservations (must make them weeks in advance) because they had a table set up for "Mildred's family."  The waitress brought mimosas, and my mother couldn't understand why the waitress (who serves her every day) knew her name.  But the mimosas were nice.

The line for the buffet table snaked all around the room, and I knew my mother would not be able to stand that long, so I said I would get her food for her.  A zillion choices and all she wanted was a crab cake (I added fruit salad, since she has fruit salad every day at lunch).  The line moved quickly and soon divided into the omelet people, waiting for their omelets to be made, and the "other food" people.  We were the other food people.  The selection was huge and I only got a few things, but my plate was heaped.

The crab cakes, which were delicious, were served with an avocado and hollandaise sauce.  The prime rib was rare (usually it's too well done for my tastes) but the blintz ended up sitting on a pool of horseradish sauce, which made an interesting taste sensation to be sure.  I left the eggs.  I was entirely too full.

Ned's plate was much fuller than mine and my mother, whose appetite has shrunk to almost nothing was aghast at the thought of his eating all that food, and shocked when he (and Walt) went back for seconds.

After the main course there were desserts and I managed to get a cream puff and a small slice of cheesecake, which were just that much too much so that I could barely move when we waddled back to the apartment.

We kind of sat in a post-prandial haze, nobody talking but my mother who kept saying "don't all talk at once."  Marta dozed off, I was about to and I didn't look over at Walt, but he usually is the first to doze off in situations like this.  My mother was hanging in there, but I knew she mentioned wanting a nap.  So we did the logical thing and retreated to our respective homes for a real nap.  It's what old people do, I've learned and even Ned, pushing 50, is no spring chicken any more!

When dinner time rolled around, Walt and I agreed neither of us felt like dinner (much less the rack of lamb I had planned).  He ended up eating a leftover slice of pizza, I, who had an unsettled stomach (probably caused by blintzes with horseradish sauce!) downed a couple of TUMS and called that dinner.

Another Mothers Day in the books and now on to summer.....