Ursula

They call it twilight sleep, I think, when it happens in between that awake time when you first go to your sleeping place and the actual sleep that happens after random thoughts flit through your head while trying to get to sleep.   I've had some really weird twilight sleep dreams through the years, where my mind takes over and it goes off on flights of fancy all on its own, sometimes thinking about real things in my life, sometimes true flights of fancy that I had no notion were rolling around in my head. Because I'm busy trying to get to sleep, I have no control over where my thoughts go.

I'm not sure what you call it when this happens in the morning, during that time between deep sleep and fully awake.  

I've started sleeping until about 8:30 in the morning and I'm lovin' it.  Now that doesn't mean 8+ hours of uninterrupted sleep.  That means 2-3 sleeping on the couch, then an hour or more (usually more) awake watching TV and trying to get back to sleep in the recliner, and finally getting to sleep, waking around 5:30-6 and listening to the local news and the Today Show, aware that I'm dozing off and on while "watching."  

It's in those "dozing off" times when I have weird thoughts.

This morning I was thinking about Char's youngest son, Cam (Cameron) and realize that I know his middle name and I knew how he happened to be named Cameron (but not how he happened to get his middle name).  Then I wondered if I remembered all of her kids' middle names.  It's kind of like one of those things that you should know about your best friend, but since the kids are all >50 and pushing 50, it's not something I've had to think about in 50 years.

I started with the oldest.  I knew she was named after Mike's cousin in Belgium and I even remembered her middle name.  But I didn't know how the 2nd daughter got her name and couldn't remember her middle name.  The next daughter was easy because she's my goddaughter, though I didn't remember how they happened to name her either her first name or her middle name.  Tim was easy because one of Char's very best friends at the Newman center was a priest named Tim (in fact, he was the priest who married Walt and me -- we were his first wedding after he was ordained).   I remembered his middle name too, and that brought me back to Cam again.

I told Char about my dream and she filled me in on the name I didn't remember and gave me the story behind how each one happened to be named.   She then shared with me something I hadn't known before, that she herself was apparently named after her mother's favorite childhood doll.  "Not exactly inspiring," she added.

I thought about her being named "Charlotte" and then thought about how the Latin word for "bear" is "ursus" and thought that since she is such a huge fan of the UC Berkeley Bears she should have been named "Ursula" and told her that.  "Sounds good to me. You may call me Ursula from now on," she tells me.

I probably won't, but who knows.  I just may.  That will confuse passengers on our upcoming cruise to France.  Go Bears!

* * *

I falsely maligned our dogs this evening and had a brief moment of panic at the same time.  Walt is off at the opera in San Francisco and the four of us 2- and 4-legged critters are here alone.  I wait to watch the evening shows (mostly Jeopardy) until Walt gets home so we can watch them together, so I decided to watch a movie instead.   I got into the recliner, kicked off my Birkenstocks, and settled in to watch the movie. The dogs paced in and out of the house during the last half hour or so because it was getting to be dinner time and I wasn't getting up to feed them instantly.

When the movie ended, I got out of the chair and there was only one shoe.  I looked under the chair, on either side of the chair and all over the family room.  The dogs are not chewers and I never have problem leaving anything on the floor (other than a plastic waterbottle) because I know that they won't run off with it.  But the shoe wasn't anywhere.  I pushed the chair forward and it wasn't under the chair either.

I went outside in the fading light trying to find it before it got completely dark.  But no shoe.  I checked the living room, the couch (where the bottles they carry out of the family room end up) and everywhere they might have taken the shoe.  I asked them many times what they had done with my shoe, but nobody talked.

I finally lifted the chair up to see better under it.  Still, the shoe was not under the chair, but it looked a little odd under the folded up footrest and when I examined further, the shoe had gotten folded up when I went to get up and there it was.  Whew.

I wear my Birkenstocks every day and they are wearing out badly, after about 20 years, and I keep meaning to get a new pair, but just have never done it.   No time tomorrow because I'm having lunch with Ursula and her cousin Susan (of Logos) and won't have time to get downtown to shop.  But definitely on Thursday morning I need to get a replacement pair of Birkenstocks, just in case I ever lose one again.  I'll keep these ratty old friends in the closet in case I ever lose a shoe again.

But the dogs are off the hook.  They were good dogs after all.

Day 71:  Brianna is getting more like Uncle Ned every day

A Day Without Shoes

I have begun to realize that it is important for us to really try to understand the conditions under which people live around the world, not just being aware that "somewhere out there" there were people living in poverty.

Tom's Shoes was having an awareness day yesterday. The deal was that people were to pledge to go a day without shoes to understand what it's like to be a poor person who can't afford shoes.

I did it by default because I didn't go out of the house and I rarely wear shoes in the house, but I live on smooth floors and soft carpet. The video is powerful.

Ned did something I was so proud of him for back in 2000, when this journal was a baby. He lost a bet on his radio station and he had to live as a homeless person on the streets of Sacramento for a couple of days. They allowed him to sleep on the porch of Phil's apartment (this was before Phil and Jeri married, of course) rather than find his own place on the street, but otherwise he lived the life of a homeless person.

I remember that two of the things he came away with were first, realizing how boring it is to be homeless, but more importantly he learned how much his feet hurt from having to be on them most of the day, moving all the time (he tried to talk with other homeless people to get an idea of what their lives were like).

Out of this experience came a radio station drive to raise money to buy shoes for the homeless. Ned lived in a playhouse on a gas station property and he raised ... I don't remember how much. Maybe something like $10,000? I could be wrong, but somehow I have that figure in mind. But they bought shoes and donated them to a local homeless shelter. I was so incredibly proud of him.

We are so less by not being aware...truly aware...of the living conditions of others around the world, and how we can help improve them. Potable water is so scarce in some countries that it is water which kills them. Alice Nan's husband is in Rotary Club and one of their projects is to build wells to bring fresh, clean, drinkable water to a village in Kenya.

Walt and I watched a video, Up the Yangtze the other night. It followed the life of a family whose farm had already been flooded as the waters of the Yangtze rose during the building of the Three Gorges Dam. They had built another lean-to house, where the family of four lived, cooked outside, and tried to figure out where their next meal was coming from, picking over the meager crops they were able to raise, wanting to hang on to what they had, but knowing that this house, too, would be flooded. They sent their daughter to work on a cruise ship in order to bring money to the family.

Just watching the interactions in the family, the beaten look of the mother, the fact that nobody ever touched anybody--the children never knew what physical affection was. I was drawn to that even more than to the information about the building of the dam.

I read the stories and I see the videos of Compassion sponsors who have been able to visit their sponsored children's homes. I watched a very moving video made by a woman who was a sponsored child, as she tearfully told what a difference her sponsor's help, love and encouragement had meant for her and how she had been abe to attend college, where without the help she would never have been able to finish grammar school. She now runs a home for unwed mothers.

I read "Sheba's Song," which is a fictionalized account of the relationship between a retired man in the United States and a young girl in India. The book was written by the adult girl, who could now write to her sponsor and tell him all the things that she knows now, but which she did not realize at the time.

We in this country have so much. When I think that the price of a Starbucks Coffee is the entire month's salary of people in some countries, it makes me re-think frivolous purchases that I might make, without thinking about it twice. I still make some of them, but I think about it and try to be aware of how much I have and how little others have, and then work to help others have a little more.

When I think that the family gift I sent to Fred's family at Christmas bought food so they could have a funeral and bury his little sister and how grateful they were for it... it breaks my heart.

We don't have to do big things. Sometimes going barefoot for a day, feeling the rough pavement or rocks under our feet and realizing that people in other countries do this all the time...and then reminding other people to do something that will make them aware of the plight of people around the world is a good thing.

When I was in grammar school, I strongly wanted to be a missionary. I outgrew that desire, but I guess I never outgrew it completely. I've been trying to do something for kids in third world countries most of my life.

We heard a commercial yesterday from a jewelry store, talking about how important mothers are to us and how we should honor them with a gift of diamonds and gold on Mother's Day. For my birthday this year, Ned and Marta gave me a gift to the Heiffer Project. I believe Marta said that a hive of bees had been donated to a 3rd world family. That meant more to me than any gift of diamonds and/or gold!

Zappos

I did something very bold and daring, for me, today. I ordered shoes...on line...from Zappos. Now this is bold and daring because my foot is extremely difficult to fit. I've always been difficult to fit, but worse since I've gotten older. I used to be an 8-1/2 for years and years, but as I've gotten older, and fatter, my foot has grown and flattened and my ideal size is mow a 10-1/2 wide. This was perfect because Easy Spirit shoes carried that size and I always bought the same style, which fit perfectly and were very comfortable. In fact, they had two styles in that size and every 2 or 3 years, I would go in and buy another two pairs from Easy Spirit. It was a great relationship. Then, for some reason, they stopped carrying that size. Not only Easy Spirit, but most shoe makers seemed to stop making 10-1/2 wide. I tried their size 11 but those were way too big.

Someone told me to try SAS shoes, and lo and behold they did have 10-1/2 wide walking shoes, which I bought, but they've never fit right and aren't comfortable for heavy duty walking.

When we went to France/Italy, I took two pairs of shoes. I wore my trainers, which I've had for years and which have been teethed upon by more than one set of puppies.

They work fine for walking, even if they do look like they came out of a rubbish bin and are not fit for dressier occasions, so I brought a pair of loafers with me to go out to restaurants on the France/Italy trip. They actually don't look like I've had them for more than 20 years, do they? I bought them at the same time I bought the SAS walking shoes and I wear them all the time in the winter (and when I have teething puppies who like to chew toes).

(this was attempt #5 at this picture and amazingly, I
only have one puppy showing!)

However, the shoes are old and if I have to take them off for any reason, it's kind of embarrassing.

(I always cringe a bit when I'm wearing these and have to go through airport security and put them in a bin for everyone to see!)

Someone on the discussion board for Viking Cruises happened to mention shoes and that she had purchased Clark Wave.Wheel from Zappos and that they worked as both walking shoes and dress shoes. She raved about how happy they made her feet feel.

I had recently seen a 60 Minutes special on Zappos and had been impressed with the company, so I decided to check out the shoes. I liked what I saw. I called the company and decided to order them. Only problem is that they don't come in 10-1/2 and I know that 10 is too small, so I ordered an 11. Hearing my plight, and that we leave on the 19th, the guy I talked to upgraded my order and said he would ship them out to arrive on Monday (giving me time to try them out and walk around to see if they will do for walking).

The nice thing about Zappos is that they don't charge for postage either way, and are apparently good about taking orders back for up to a month, if you change your mind.

I'm hopeful that these will work. It's a huge leap of faith for me because my level of happiness is so incredibly tied to the comfort of my feet and I've never bought shoes before without actually trying them on. So hold the good thought. If miracles happen, they will fit, they will feel great, and I won't have to pack an extra pair of shoes for the trip, saving that much space in the suitcase. If they don't fit, there are always the theethed upon trainers and the holey loafers.