Do the Right Thing

Judge Vaughn Walker did the right thing today.

He overturned California's Proposition 8, stating that it was unconstitutional under both the Equal Protection and Due Process clauses of the U.S. Constitution. He said the proposition "fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license." He then added "...the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same sex couples."

Judge Walker's historic decision doesn't really change anything. The pro-8 people will file an immediate appeal and nothing will be settled completely until the issue is heard by the Supreme Court, but what an air of jubilation permeated all the social media web sites, news shows, and streets of cities across the state this afternoon.

There were jubilant posts to Facebook all afternoon.

My friend Jennifer wrote, Seriously, truly, so excited I can't see straight! After going through the process of fingerprinting and an FBI criminal search to *start* the months-long process of getting a name change that would be a simple 2-step process if we were recognized legally, this excites me no end!

Holly wrote: a pre-planned dinner w/Sar and Kym turned into a celebration of love and the occasional triumph of reason in the American judiciary. In an adult life full mostly of political and judicial disappointments, this has been one of the few occasions on which I feel celebration is fully in order.

My friend John wrote, My partner and I (of 30+ years) were married in California on June 17, 2008.

Proposition 8 made it illegal for any further gay marriages to be performed in California. Even though my marriage was grandfathered in, you cannot imagine how it felt.

I know this is just part of an ongoing battle to get gay marriage accepted, and it is STILL not legal in my own home state, but emotionally it is definitely a VERY big deal.

John had his own very personal examples of that "sanctity of marriage" business that Prop 8 supporters are so fond of spouting:

I remember when my sister had her first marriage. She got all her brothers together to let all of us know that SHE had picked the perfect man for the perfect marriage. HER marriage was going to be perfect in every way and was going to last forever because SHE had taken the time to find the PERFECT person, unlike all of us who so clearly had never made any good choices in our lives.

That marriage lasted a bit over a year before falling apart. She now is in her 2nd marriage with a physically abusive husband and two dysfunctional kids.

She invited me to both of her marriages, but never invited my partner (now 34 years together). I guess that was because our relationship was so inferior to her absolutely perfect one(s).

When the police threatened to take her kids away from her if they had to be called to her home one more time for domestic violence reports, she moved to California.

There she was naturally a supporter of Proposition 8. She has always been a firm believer that marriage has to be "saved" by destroying the marriages of gays.

Perhaps if she destroys my marriage the police will stop coming to her house. Maybe her husband will stop beating her. Who knows, perhaps her kids will stop mimicking the violence they have been exposed to all their lives if she succeeds in destroying my marriage.

Somehow I don't think so.

But even if it did, she should have enough morality to realize that one's own happiness is not worth destroying the happiness of others, and destroying the lives of others will not REALLY make her own life any better.

The issue is going to drag on through the courts for probably years. Right now there is a 3 day moratorium on marriage. The pro-8s are hoping to keep the moratorium in place until a decision is finally rendered by the Supreme Court, which merely adds insult to injury. Let's hope the ban on marriage will be lifted this week.

It's only another step toward the full recognition of same sex unions in this country, but every step forward feels like a huge leap toward eventual equality for every tax-paying citizen in this country, no matter what their sexual orientation.

Good going, Judge Walker!!

What Did You Do on YOUR Anniversary?

Today is Shelly and Ellen's second wedding anniversary. They've been together nearly 40 years, but have only been legally married for only two years.

I'm sure they would have loved to spend the day enjoying each other's company, maybe having a romantic dinner. Instead they were back in San Francisco, with another poster, standing outside city hall, waiting to hear about the closing arguments in the case asking to overturn Proposition 8.

To make matters worse, and add insult to injury, those defending Prop 8 added an extra little twist--they want the decision to take away the 18,000 legal marriages that have already taken place. Oh, I think they realize that they can't actually nullify those legal marriages, but they want a ruling which says that nobody has to acknowledge them. Which is pretty much the same thing.

As the trial over California's prohibition on same-sex marriage enters its final stage today, the ban's sponsors are urging the judge to go a step further and revoke state recognition of the marriages of 18,000 gay and lesbian couples who wed before voters passed Proposition 8.

Such an order would honor "the expressed will of the people," backers of the November 2008 ballot measure said Tuesday in their final written filing before Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker.

Andrew Pugno, an attorney for Prop. 8's backers, said in an interview that the sponsors aren't asking Walker to nullify the 18,000 marriages, but only to rule that government agencies, courts and businesses no longer have to recognize the couples as married.

-- San Francisco Chronicle

In the days before final arguments began, the Mormon Church was found guilty on 13 counts of late campaign reporting. They reported they had contributed $2,078 to the campaign to pass Prop 8. In reality they spent $190,000, the largest contributor to the camaign, as well as contributing non-monetarily to the campaign by sending Mormon campaign volunteers through the Church's "mission" program and offering use of church ward (parish) properties throughout the state..

The Catholic Bishop in San Francisco sent out flyers to all of its parishioners urging a yes vote on Prop 8 because "If the Supreme Court ruling stands public schools may have to teach children that there is no difference between traditional marriage and 'gay' marriage." (--SF Chronicle)

A shocked parishioner at Most Holy Redeemer parish, which advertises itself a "your Catholic church in the Castro" says, "What does that even mean? Your son could marry a boy because he doesn't know any better? It will be against the law to tell him so?"

During the initial hearings on the issue, the defenders of Prop 8 could find almost nobody to testify for them. Their one witness ended up admitting that even he could not see how same sex marriage would adversely affect straight marriage.

The web site, Religious Tolerance gives the reasons why same sex marriage is a bad idea (along with rebuttal arguments).

• Gays and lesbians make bad parents

• Children need to be raised by biological parents

• A child raised by a same sex couple will be subject to hate

• Marriage is only feasible if a couple is monogamous; same sex couples cannot be

• Same sex couples cannot bring children into the world by themselves

• If same-sex marriages are legalized, then decriminalization of prostitution, polygyny, polyandry, and incest will necessarily follow. Men will marry two or more women; women will marry multiple men; multiple women and multiple men will form group marriages; men will want to marry their dogs, whom they dearly love; etc. Once the floodgates are opened, there will be no stopping the changes.

• Children of gay and lesbian parents will become homosexual

Isn't it time to grow up and acknowledge that gay couples are here to stay, that they are no better, no worse parents than straight parents, that they are no more and no less subject to infidelity as their local politician, and that they are as deserving of respect and legal rights as all the rest of us?

Iceland recently joined the list of 21 countries where gay marriage or civil unions are legal. In this country marriage, or something like it is the law in Connecticut, the District of Columbia, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Maine, Massachusetts, Vermont and Iowa. Here in the hotbed of wing nuts and sexual liberation we are still fighting to allow same sex couples the right to have the same legal rights as the rest of us.

Happy Anniversary, Ellen and Shelly. I just hope that some day you won't have to spend the day fighting so hard to be who you are.

San Francisco Chronicle's excellent wrap-up of the day's proceedings here.

...and In the News

I woke up this morning to news of the 7.0 quake in Haiti. My heart dropped. I had only just received information on my sponsored child, Briana and I feared for her life. I spent the next half hour looking for any information I could get anywhere and finally found her center at Cape Hatien, which is about as far from the epicenter as you can get, so I'm sure she is safe, if shaken (a news reporter who was in Cape Hatien described the sensation of the shock, even as far away are they are, but says that now it's "business as usual" in that city). Still this is a disaster of monumental proportions in a country which can ill afford it.

Fortunately, many organizations have immediately stepped up to help. Here are some ways to donate:

One way to help Haiti Earthquake Relief efforts is Yele, an organization set up by musician and native Haitian Wyclef Jean. Unfortunately, Yele is being hammered right now by those wanting to give, and the site is extremely slow. Once you get through, you can give to Haiti Earthquake Relief here.

Doctors Without Borders is a way to give Haiti Earthquake Relief people may forget. The organization has been on-site in Haiti for years. They themselves need help in this emergency, as well, as it has been reported that their facilities have been badly damaged by the quake.

Operation Blessing International has Haiti Earthquake disaster relief teams on the way. They are accepting donations as well.

Catholic Relief Services is another way to give to Haiti Earthquake Relief. Don't forget the plea by Pope Benedict XVI to give generously to Haiti.

Save the Children has set up a "Support the Haiti Earthquake Children in Emergency Fund." It is accepting Haiti Earthquake Relief funds, and has a printable form if for some reason you don't want to donate via their website.

Compassion's Disaster relief page is here and you can make a one-time donation without committing to anything further.

Someone from The Lamplighters highly recommends Missionary Flights and assures everyone that money will be used for disaster relief and that flights to Haiti are beginning from Florida today.

UNICEF is another location you can go to for Haiti Earthquake Relief donations. UNICEF says the following on its donation page: "Children are always the most vulnerable population in any natural disaster, and UNICEF is there for them."

Of course, the American Red Cross is accepting donations, though it's listed last because, for Americans, it's probably the first place they think of. The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies is also available for Haiti Earthquake Relief.

Quite possibly the easiest way to give to Haiti Earthquake Relief involves that ubiquitous device, the cell phone. You can text "Haiti" to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross. Or, if you text Yele to 501 501 to donate $5 to Yele.

Whatever your preferred organization, the important thing is that Haiti is going to need an incredible amount of help. Give whatever you can, even if it's only $5. Give up a coffee at Starbucks to help save a life.

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Since not everyone is connected to web sites which are discussing the ramifications of California's Prop 8, there is a case before the California Supreme Court right now challenging the legality of the proposition on behalf of two legally married same sex couples.

Amazingly, former Bush Solicitor General, Ted Olson, is one of the attorneys arguing the case for the gay couples. His statement about why a staunch conservative would take up the cause of gay marriage is eloquent, moving and brilliant. Please read it here.

In part, he says, My involvement in this case has generated a certain degree of consternation among conservatives. How could a politically active, lifelong Republican, a veteran of the Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush administrations, challenge the "traditional" definition of marriage and press for an "activist" interpretation of the Constitution to create another "new" constitutional right?...

...same-sex unions promote the values conservatives prize. Marriage is one of the basic building blocks of our neighborhoods and our nation. At its best, it is a stable bond between two individuals who work to create a loving household and a social and economic partnership. We encourage couples to marry because the commitments they make to one another provide benefits not only to themselves but also to their families and communities. Marriage requires thinking beyond one's own needs. It transforms two individuals into a union based on shared aspirations, and in doing so establishes a formal investment in the well-being of society. The fact that individuals who happen to be gay want to share in this vital social institution is evidence that conservative ideals enjoy widespread acceptance. Conservatives should celebrate this, rather than lament it.

There is much, much more and it deserves a read especially by those who oppose gay marriage.

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And then there is the Tonight Show dust-up. Not that anybody cares about my opinion, but it's time for Leno to go home and take care of his cars. While I occasionally watch his Headlines segment, I long ago lost my enjoyment of him. His humor is often at the expense of others and I hate humor like that. I thought it was a terrible disservice to Conan O'Brien (whom I don't watch either...I've switched the Letterman) to put Leno on at 10 p.m. Moving him back to his old slot as a "Tonight Show Lite" sort of program is sour grapes on the part of Leno and he should just go off and do his personal appearances and leave NBC to his successor. Johnny Carson left with class. Leno should do the same, not leave a bitter taste in so many people's mouths by fighting to take back what he gave up 7 months ago.

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And finally, a personal note. We have new foster dog.

He sheds.

(someone pointed out I've gone from hairless to overabundance of hair!)