It's a Girl

Am I good at keeping a secret or what?

When we received the news that Brianna was going to be a big sister in September, we were asked not to talk about it. So me, the blabbermouth of the world, has kept it (almost completely) quiet. I did tell a few people who were sworn to secrecy, but I didn't even tell Peach until yesterday.

They wanted to wait until the definitive ultrasound which would let them know that everything was OK with the baby and when they would find out the sex (though it wasn't not knowing the sex that was the reason why they wanted it kept quiet).

I didn't even post this photo from the first ultrasound, though it was the wallpaper on my cell phone until I realized I couldn't read the dark print on top of it.

(Aren't 3-D ultrasounds amazing! I'm from the years when they didn't even let you hear the heartbeat.)

But the big appointment was yesterday and they took Brianna with them so she could see the baby too. I got a text message from Tom that they had uploaded a video to their photo web site (which I will not upload here because that's their thing to do).

I sent back a text that read "Damn...no wifi at Grandma's house!" I figured I would have to wait until I got home to see the video (which I did), but Tom fired back a text asking if I wanted to hear the information.

I started calling him and he was calling me at the same time, but somehow we connected. I got the happy news that everything is OK with the baby, and the Downs screen they did came back negative today, so it's all clear for a healthy baby. And that the baby is a girl.

Brianna has been talking about a baby brother and I know Tom would love to have a son, but I can just see him as a Daddy to his two little girls. He'll be great and all of their friends will be in love with him.

Tom has a name he's pushing for, but I did the Bad Grandma thing before Bri was born and let leak the name they were considering, so my mouth (and fingers) are sealed. I think it's the PERFECT name, but it may not be everyone's cup of tea. If they do NOT name her his first choice, I will let you all know after she is born and has been named.

We're gonna be grandparents again!!!

---

Our 2-day Cousins Day came to an end this morning. We had scrambled eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast and then broke out the cards. Maybe we could fit a game in before we left.

Before we did that, Peach (who has twice empted her money bag and taken most of the coins to the bank) insisted on counting the money in my bag. She was betting I had $50 there. We piled up all the coins in $1 stacks

It wasn't $50, it was $40, and after we played two games, it was more than $40 (apologies to my mother). I decided not to remove it and bank it, but to let it ride. I've seen how quickly those coins can disappear when the cards aren't with you!

It was a good 2 days, but it was also good to get home again, for a couple of days, at least!

Baby Watch

The following is a report of how I have spent the day.

March 30 - 4:30 p.m.. We returned home from seeing Brigadoon and immediately checked for messages on the phone, since we are in the middle of "baby watch." There was none, but my caller ID showed that I had received a call from Santa Barbara. I returned the call and got Tom's cell phone message. I left a message saying we were home.

Meanwhile, Walt checked his cell phone and found a message from Tom saying they were on the way to the hospital. I checked my cell phone and found a message from Ned saying that in case I hadn't heard the message, Tom and Laurel were on the way to the hospital

Five minutes later- Tom called to say he and Laurel were in the hospital. She was having "tests" to see whether she was in labor or not and he would get back to me.

Twenty minutes later - Tom called back to say they had decided to admit Laurel and thought that the baby might arrive by 4:30 a.m. or something. I told him I wanted to be called when the baby arrived, no matter what time it was.

I called my mother, who was tickled. Walt called his mother, who had already heard the news from Alice Nan, who was at a Lakers game. I sent a text message to Jeri, who sent a reply. Walt called Alice Nan and reported that it's very difficult to have a cell phone conversation at a Lakers game.

9:30 p.m. or so - I fell asleep watching TV, with the puppy in my lap.

March 31 - 4:00 a.m. - I woke up with a start. It was 4 a.m. Would Tom be calling any minute now? Had I posted my journal entry? (answers: no, and no) I got up and posted my journal entry and then tried to go back to sleep,but sleep was impossible. I waited for news from Tom. Said a prayer (very unusual for me) that all would go right with the birth and that this much awaited baby and her mother would be all right.

7:54 a.m. - got a text message from Tom saying there was nothing to report.

7:58 a.m. - got a phone call from Alice Nan, who had just arrived at the hospital, reporting on progress, which appears to be slow. They had given Laurel an epidural so she could get some sleep during the night.

8:07 a.m. - Sent e-mail to my midwife friend Lynn with all the details, as I knew them, figuring that if anything sounded unusual, she would let me know.

8:30 a.m. - phone call from my mother. I reported things were coming along, but slowly.

8:45 a.m. - phone call from Walt's brother. I reported things were coming along, but slowly.

9:22 a.m. - sent link to YouTube video to Ned and also reported that things with the baby were coming along slowly.

10:10 a.m. - text message from Jeri. I reported things were coming along, but slowly.

10:30 a.m. - note from Lynn saying average first baby takes 12-16 hrs, so to expect it to take awhile. I decided to try to take a nap myself, to make up those hours I didn't get last night.

Noon - Took a nap and thus had missed e-mail from Alice Nan, but she called to say Laurel is at 9 cm, baby is face up and they are trying to turn her.

1:45 p.m. - Alice Nan called again. She just arrived at the hospital after a text message from Tom an hour ago saying Laurel had started pushing. They must have succeeded in turning the baby. Laurel's mother is fielding calls from all of Laurel's family; Alice Nan is fielding calls from Tom's friends and relatives. Must be like a switchboard in the waiting room!

2:45 p.m. - OK. I am now officially worried. But I think I remember Laurel saying that her mother had long labors. I was spoiled in that my labors were always ridiculously short, even the one that was breech. Still--it's so difficult being this far away imagining the worst. So many people already love this baby...!

4:01 p.m. - e-mail message from Tom: "She's in!!! I will call soon."

4:02 p.m. - telephone call from Alice Nan: "We just got a text message from Tom. All it said was 'Bingo.'"

4:05 p.m. - called my mother, sent text messages to Jeri & Ned, sent e-mail to Lynn. Made graphic for Flickr. Waiting for call to get specifics. Little details like her name, weight, and how Mommy is doing.

4:45 p.m. - Alice Nan calls from the nursery window, watching the nurse take the baby's footprints. Brianna (Breanna?) Leigh (Lee?). 7 lb 9 oz, 19", brown hair. Daddy is wearing his 49er hat. Of course. Teach the baby about the 9ers from the first.

HEY......

6:25 p.m. - Tom finally has time to call. It's Brianna Lee, she's "very healthy" and they'll probably be in the hospital for a couple of days so Laurel can rest up. He said it was "quite an ordeal" and wondered if we'd ever been through anything like that before.

We laughed.

So..it's over. Our granddaughter has arrived and we are just so happy!!

Short and Sweet

That pretty much describes our whirlwind trip to Santa Barbara: short and sweet.

As I write this, it is nearly midnight on March 11 and I have miles to go before I sleep. The day today wasn't particularly extraordinary, so I'll probably include photos from the past 3 days.

Mostly what we did today was we got up, putzed around the house until Alice Nan called, then met her for coffee at Starbucks. Then back to the house to finish packing, drove to Maravilla for one last visit with Walt's mother ...

...then off to the beach, to the place where I had lunch a couple of weeks ago, when I was down for the last shower. We were able to get a table right by the beach and had a tasty lunch.

We knew we would be very early getting into Burbank for our 9:10 p.m. flight, but we weren't prepared to have about 4 hours to kill. We ended up wandering around Fry's (which is very near the airport), buying a new battery for my camera, and a new remote control for Walt's mother's TV, which, I hope, will make it easier for her to find her channels now, since she can't see the buttons on the remote.

We had a small dinner at the airport and I think the food was "off"...not enough to give us food poisoning but enough for both of us to be feeling very uncomfortable by the time we landed in Sacramento.

So that was our trip...short and sweet. And here are a few photos I didn't get to post while we were gone:

(Perhaps Tom's favorite present!!!)

Every baby needs her own Snoopy!

OK--everybody say it. Awwwww...

The paint design in the nursery

While Laurel and I were oohing over tiny garments
Tom and Dad were checking the baby monitor--"guy stuff"!

So, the next time we see all these people, Baby Sykes will have arrived and I'll finally be a grandma. The latest doctor's report says that she's doing fine and it could be sometime in the next couple of weeks.

A Restful Day

Tom called Walt in the middle of the afternoon.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Well, I'm shopping at Home Depot and your mother is at Borders," Walt replied. Tom laughed. It was so "us"!

It was good to sleep in this morning. From my spot on the couch in the parlor, I was "aware" of movement in the house, but had no idea that three people had gotten up, showered, dressed, eaten breakfast, and headed off to work/school.

It was 7:15, with sun streaming in the window, before I finally sat up to check the time. How lovely! I had an hour on the computer while Walt woke up and did his wrist exercises before the day actually started.

We had kind of a quiet morning around the house, since we were the only ones here. I wanted to help clean up from the party, but Alice Nan had said to leave it all and when I started to think about where to put stuff, I realized that was probably safest. I know how frustrating it is for me when people help and then it's weeks before I can find stuff I use all the time!

Around 11 a.m., we were finally packed into the car and we drove over to the assisted living facility where Walt's mother lives. She had just come back from a late breakfast and was in that post-prandial lethargic mode. We sat and talked with her, snoozed with her, and just kept her company until about 2 p.m. when her nebulizer treatment was finished. Then we left her to nap some more and we went off in search of a light lunch--and some shopping.

While he wasn't exactly shopping yet, Walt wanted to check out mats for the treadmill, which is scheduled to be delivered on March 17. The delivery people had told me that we could pick up a hard rubber mat at Home Depot and Walt wanted to know if he was going to have to rent a truck to transport it from Woodland back to Davis again (apparently not).

I decided I really was not needed to go shopping for hard rubber mats (especially if we were not going to actually BUY one now!), so I went off to Borders to check out books. I was curious to see if "Schuyler's Monster" was on the shelves. When I was there 2 weeks ago, it had been delivered, but had not made it to the shelves yet. They had a grand total of ONE copy. But the copy isn't there, so either (a) they never got it, (b) they still haven't put it on the shelf, or (I hope) (c) someone has bought it.

My friend Diane had recently told me about a woman who writes mysteries that feature dogs. Kind of the canine equivalent of "The Cat Who..." books, I assumed. I had purchased one of the books and had it with me, but it was back at Alice Nan's house. In the meantime I had finished the book I was reading, "Saving Sprite" (I will be writing a review about it later. I didn't think much of it. Ashley, if you want it, let me know and I'll give it to you.).

Anyway, faced with returning to Walt's mom's place for more napping, I wanted another book to read, so tried to find this author. I couldn't remember her name and was hoping some titles would leap out at me. I started at the "Z" end of the Borders Mystery section and naturally, her name starts with a "B" -- Laurien Berenson. But I bought another of her books, "Dog Eat Dog," and started reading that in the Borders cafe, with my bottle of sparking water, waiting for Walt to return from his mat-hunt.

Then back to Maravilla for more napping and finally, when Alice Nan arrived from her trip to L.A. for the day, we all went to the dining room for dinner.

This place really is lovely, if you have to be in assisted living. Everything just feels plush, the attenndants really seem to attend and the dining room is like going to a nice restaurant every night. There are tables for 4 or 6 people, all with cloth table cloths, good tableware, flowers, and attentive servers, who have been trained in how to serve. The room is dominated by a huge fireplace and big windows look out onto the courtyard.

Oh, it's not the Ritz, but so much better than other places she could have been. And the food is creative and doesn't all taste like it came from the grammar school steam table. I had almond encrusted breast of chicken with mango chutney; Alice Nan had vegetarian cabbage rolls and Walt had a shrimp louis salad. All was very tasty (Walt's mother had the same dinner I did).

When we finished dinner, we took her back to her room and left her to watch "Jeopardy" with Alice Nan while we went and checked the progress that has been made on Tom & Laurel's house. The kitchen, which was down to the studs, with only a concrete floor, when I saw it two weeks ago, now looks like a real kitchen--or it would if all the living room furniture weren't piled in it (they installed new carpet in the living room today). I am so incredibly impressed with the work Tom has done in the house. Like the work that Ned has done on the room they added to their house, it just boggles my mind that my children have all these amazing talents. It must be a throw-back to a former generation!

Laurel gave me a tour of the baby's closet, where everything is organized and color-coordinated and made easy so that if Tom dresses his daughter, he can find coordinated clothes. The thought did cross my mind that I wondered how long this organization and coordination was actually going to last but then, knowing Laurel, I suspect a very long time.

I gave Tom my guesses on the birthing pool. I'm guessing March 24 and that the baby will be 7 lbs 2 oz and 20 inches long. Coincidentally, March 24 is the date Laurel has picked too. She's very definitely hoping she doesn't match Walt's mother's prediction, April 8!

So our day was pretty low key, but it seems like we did good stuff and it was fun to see the nursery all painted. I told Tom that the next time I see him, he'll be a Daddy! Now that feels strange!

We head back home again tomorrow (and then I have one day at home before a much anticipated, much needed Cousins Day!). This has been a very short, but very nice trip.

A Daddy Shower

Baby showers are traditionally the realm of women. All those finger foods and giggling over silly games and oohing and ahhing over cute little baby things.

Why does Dad get left out? It's his baby too.

Well, fortunately, Walt's sister and brother-in-law decided that Tom needed a baby shower, so we are back in Santa Barbara again.

The morning started very, very early for me. I was so afraid I'd oversleep, what with both the need for an early morning flight and daylight saving time to contend with, that I actually woke up at 4 a.m. regular time, 5 a.m., daylight saving time. At least half an hour earlier than I intended.

I got showered, finished packing (how much do you need to pack for a 2-day trip?) and got the dogs into the car for the trip to the dog sitters.

I had made arrangements for Kathy and Miguel to keep the dogs weeks ago, and asked if I could bring them at 7 a.m., which they said I could. I'm never quite sure where their house is, and I didn't have the address with me, so hoped I could find it. When I did find what I thought was their house, everything was very dark. I called them on both their cell phone and home phone and got message machines on both.

Great. I wasn't even sure it was the right house.

There was lots of construction going on in front and the back fence was down (how would they keep the dogs in, I wondered) so I tiptoed in to see if, indeed, this was the right house. The tiny play yard I was so impressed with before, was no more, but I did recognize the tree stumps and knew, at least, that I had the right house.

I rang the doorbell and hoped for the best. There was no answer. Swell. What was I going to do now? We had to leave for the airport in an hour and what was I going to do with the dogs?

I rang the doorbell again and there was movement at the window and I saw Kathy looking out. They had forgotten to set their clocks forward. At least I had the right house and had managed to raise someone. I didn't want to think about the now nonexistent back yard. I just dropped the dogs off, asked if they would also groom Lizzie while she was there, and went back to the car.

Our flight to Burbank was uneventful, save for th fact that Walt measured the seat I was sitting in comfortably and it seems to be the same size as the Express Jet seat, so next time we will probably try flying Express Jet and hpe for the best--that way we can fly directly into Santa Barbara.

We drove the 2 hours up from Burbank and got here just as the first guests were arriving.

As I said at the outset, why has nobody thought of giving a guy shower before? We still played the silly games, but the guys added a new twist--and watching blindfolded men doing a baby food taste test was worth the price of admission.

The gifts, too, were perfect. Tom opened them, since this was his shower. A real winner was "Fatherhood for Dummies," where one of his friends had taken a phone book, hollowed it out to hold a bottle of booze, and then photoshopped a cover from some other "for Dummies" book. You had to look closely at the cover to realize that it wasn't really a real "for Dummies" book after all.

I had bought the baby, among other things, a set of golf shoe booties, which went with the set of toy golf clubs that someone gave him, so that was a nice bit of serendipity.

It was nice for Laurel because she got to sit back and watch Daddy Tom be the center of attention for a change!

Things broke up with one guy overheard someone talking about cultures that eat the placenta and he decided that this was getting entirely too graphic for him! (OK...so maybe the guys aren't ready for the entire baby shower experience!)

We'll be here in Santa Barbara for one more day and then fly home on Tuesday. I don't know when we'll be back, but it depends on when the grandchild decides to appear. The due date was originally April 2, but they don't think she's going to wait that long...so, who knows.

Tomorrow we are going to go see the progress made on Tom & Laurel's house. The remodel is not as far along as they had hoped, but the rugs get put down tomorrow and I'm sure that will help considerably!

I didn't bring my card reader, so can't transfer photos from my camera to journal, so that will have to wait until I get home (I took the picture of Laurel with my cell phone). I also forgot to charge the battery for my camera before I left home, so I'm not sure how long it's going to last. One of those "plan ahead" things I almost always do and just plum forgot this time!

Don't Rain on My Shower

The huge room was filled with women laughing, talking, eating, and just wandering around. I was standing by Laurel and I asked, "So...how many of these people are related to you?"

She looked at the group. I don't know how many there were, but 30-40 had been invited and we guesstimated that at least 30 had come. "Oh..." she paused. "All of them?"

She then amended it to all of them but two, her best friends from high school. And us, of course. Myself, Walt's sister, and his sister-in-law. We were the outsiders at this baby shower. All the rest were in some way connected to the Hanley family.

The plan had been for the shower to be held at a local park, and it was going to be a picnic. I was somewhat dubious about a picnic scheduled for February, but apparently it is not uncommon for the weather to be beautiful in Santa Inez in February.

However, not this year. It has been raining steadily and it looked like the term "shower" was going to be even more appropriate, so alternate arrangements had to be made to accommodate a group this large in some indoor location. Enter Uncle Chip and his wife, Susan.

Susan had hosted Laurel's bridal shower in 2003 (which I missed because I was in Australia) and Alice Nan told me they had a house which could easily handle a large group. Olivia, Walt's sister-in-law, had Googled the address to get driving directions and was surprised to discover the house was on the market. For only $4.7 million you could own this gorgeous piece of real estate!

What does a $4.7 million house look like?

For one thing, Santa Inez is an incredibly gorgeous area. It's vineyards and it's horses and once you climb up into the hills outside Santa Barbara and come down into the valley where Santa Inez is located, it takes your breath away. The hills. The clouds. The green fields. And, as you begin to get into the populated areas again, it seems to be one huge horse farm after another. White fences cutting a swath through the green fields and horses standing around looking bored.

We found the house without difficulty, but were early and there didn't seem to be any cars around, so Alice Nan called Norm and Olivia and found that they were in nearby Los Olivos, at the Fess Parker Inn, where they thought they'd kill time and get coffee. We decided to join them, but by the time we actually found them and had a quick look at the Inn, it was after the scheduled start time of the shower, so we just turned around and headed back to the mansion.

I suppose I shouldn't call it a mansion exactly, but when the guest house is larger than my real house, and the master bathroom is twice the size (and then some) of my office, I know that this is really not my league! (I do not, for example, fly the flag of visiting guests on the grounds next to my pool!) I did take photos and, again, they will eventually be posted, after I get home.

It was a lovely shower. With a mountain of gifts, everything from booties to a jogging stroller with a place for an MP3 player so baby can have music wherever she goes. She even got her own first piece of bling from Walt's cousin's wife (who couldn't attend, but who sent a package).

By the time we left, the winds which were blowing a bit when we arrived had turned into gale force winds and the "shower" was starting to look like serious rain. The mountain tops which had displayed a generous dusting of snow on our drive over were now completely shrouded in black clouds. We drove back to Santa Barbara and arrived at the Assisted Living facility before the cloudburst began.

Norm had spent most of the afternoon visiting with his mother, and we joined the nice visit they were having, went to the dining room and had dinner with her. We lingered until the place had nearly cleared out, and then back to the room for more visiting before my mother-in-law was clearly exhausted and it was time for her care giver to get her ready for bed. She obviously gets more confused the more tired she was. She asked me what, exactly, was my relation to Tom, as she had forgotten he was my son.

Now we're all back at the house, having a slumber party. Or we were before the others wimped out and went to sleep. I'm sitting up, the only awake person in the house, waiting for Alice Nan's husband to return from work. He is a tax accountant and I'm sure that my friend Mary can sympathize with how his days are going at the moment!

It's been such a fun day, a chance to see my daughter-in-law in the full bloom of pregnancy, a chance to hear the possible baby name whispered by my brother-in-law, who thinks that Tom spilled the beans back at Christmas (lovely name, if it's the final decision), and a chance to laugh and visit with Walt's mother as well.

It's been, and continues to be, a great trip. And best of all, I got a text message from Ashley saying that Bissell did not find a forever home again this week and so will be with us for at least one more week.

Moon Madness

TOM--PLEASE DON'T READ THIS ENTRY YET....LEAVE NOW BEFORE YOU LOOK AT THE PHOTOS!

I had forgotten about the eclipse until Walt's sister called and mentioned that she could see it starting. I was able to set up the tripod and catch a kinda sorta vesion of it.

It's been a strange day, mostly because I've been sick for the last few days and so haven't really even thought about this trip to Santa Barbara...but I have to catch the train around 6:30 in the morning (assuming it is on time). There was so much to get done...or so it seemed. Mostly there was packing and trying to decide which baby things to take and which to leave for the couples shower that is taking place next month.

Even with that, I had to pack the largest suitcase. Whaddya think? Too much?

One reason this is packed so full (and I took this photo before I had added any of my clothes!) is that I spent some time rummaging around in closets today. I was looking for two things that I remember saving for our grandchildren. There was an adorable "rose dress" that Jeri wore when she was about a year old and there was a coat which my mother made for her when she was taking a tailoring class.

I knew exactly where they were and I wanted to give them to Laurel and Tom. Only they weren't there. What was there was a collection of boxes of baby clothes. Oh my god. What was I thinking 40 years ago when Jeri outgrew all those adorable dresses? I saved them. I had such fun going through the boxes and then washing them all and adding them to the suitcase. I mean...I couldn't throw them away now, could I?

So I have a suitcase packed with nothing but baby stuff, with a few things for me. It's a huge suitcase and will come home almost empty.

When Walt got home, I showed him the clothes and we smiled as we remembered Jeri wearing all those cute little dresses (I had packed the boy clothes back up by then). I asked if he knew remembered seeing another box.

"Did you check the boxes in the big bedroom?" he asked.

Boxes?

He disappeared and came back with a huge box labeled "birth to 6 mos" and told me that there were other boxes up to age 4 or something. Good grief. No wonder we have no room around here.

I checked the box, which had the tiny, tiny stuff in it. I know Laurel already has more than she will ever use now, but I washed it all anyway. Still no sign of the rose dress or the coat, but he did reappear with one box marked "coats" and one marked "hats." All held great memories, but not what I was looking for.

(In fact, as I write this, I still have not found either)

But I have spent the evening washing, and oohing and aahing over clothes that Laurel needs like she needs a hole in the head. I'm only bringing a very small (relatively speaking) percentage of the clothes, but I'll leave it to Laurel to decide whether she wants to use any, or just toss them and hang the sentimentality of it all.

Lots of things I wanted to do before I left didn't get done, but it's not like I'm going to Outer Mongolia.

Since Amtrak told me there is no dining car on this train, I thought I'd find fun snacks, but no time to leave the house to go shopping. In fact, I sent Walt off to get money for me so I could continue getting all the "stuff" together.

I'm not taking the laptop with me, but decided to take the laptop case because it contains all my things like cell phone charger, SD card reader, iPod charger, camera battery charger. I added my book, gorillapod, iPod and some snacks. It's slightly lighter than it is with the computer, but since the book I'm taking is a thick hardback (James Lipton's "Inside Inside"), it's not that much lighter than it would have been otherwise.

So I guess I'm ready. All that's left is for me to go down by the station early in the morning and see if the little puffer bellies are standing in a row.

It's anybody's guess when I will add the next entry, but I'm sure it will come with photos of my train adventures!

The Search for Perfection

There are many jobs for which I am woefully ill-prepared. I watched something the other day about some sort of a job that involved checking, re-checking, and re-checking again to make sure that whatever was produced was absolutely, positively perfect.

Definitely not my job. I'm more a "good enough for government work" or "close enough" kind of person.

The first experience with "getting it perfect" that I remember came when we were working on the first Lamplighter book. We were creating an historical archive and it needed to be as perfect as we could make it. If it hadn't been for Alison's training and knowledge about (and passion for) the importance of what we were doing, I would have gotten the project done, but in a half-assed way that wouldn't have been nearly as scholarly as it ended up being.

The current transcription project is aiming for perfection too. There are 10 of us on the team and we have a style sheet to use which seems extremely detailed for something which started out as a way to simply allow people to read the broadcast material. Updates to the style sheet come along as people screw up or as new thoughts emerge.

The problem, though, is that we all started out doing it in our own way before the style sheet evolved and when I looked through a lot of transcripts which have been posted on line the other day, I don't think there is unanimity in half of them. The typeface is different, or the format is different. Do you use italics or underlining for emphasis? Is the capsule summary in italics or regular type? Is it one space between sentences or two spaces--and does it really matter? Etc. To me the important thing is that we are getting it done--and the end is in sight. Close enough for government work. But then I don't come from a "make it perfect" mentality.

I have to admit that the increasing oversight, combined with both the amount of work I have on my plate right now, and the fact that the transcription team has a "wonder woman" who seems to be doing the lion's share of the work and is cheered whenever she finishes her next batch, have left me kind of putting transcription to the bottom of the stack of work that needs to be done, knowing that it will get done by Wonder Woman, who will apparently do it more perfectly than I am capable of doing.

We are also expecting the most perfect granddaughter in the world.

I have loved following Laurel's on-line pregnancy diary and watching as she keeps track of the baby's progress and muses about the way they are going to raise their child. Tom and Laurel are going to be such wonderful parents.

Laurel is a "make it perfect" kind of person. They had the perfect wedding--and it was the perfect wedding, everything by the book she had researched so carefully and followed so closely.

This grandchild is being researched with even more dedication, as well she should be. This is, after all, OUR granddaughter! Laurel is going the extra mile to do everything right for the baby now, as well as after she's born.

I do, however, smile, when I read about things like decisions regarding whether the child should or should not be exposed to television and what material the bottles should be made of. I remember when Jeri was born and how perfect we tried to make things (within my ability to make things "perfect")...and how you discovered which things don't need to be quite so perfect when you have subsequent things to worry about.

With child #1 you sterilize the pacifier if it falls on the floor before you let the baby put it in her mouth again. With child #2, you run it quickly under the faucet. Cold water? No problem. Just plunk it quickly back in the mouth. With child #3, you brush the pacifier off on your pants before reinserting it into the kid's mouth, and by child #4 (sorry, Tom), you don't even bother wiping it off unless it drops in the mud.

You never let child #1 watch television, but when child #2 is screaming, you turn on the TV to keep #1 occupied while you attend to #2. By #3, you watch the clock, longing for it to be time for Sesame Street so you can get a break for a few minutes. By #4 all four kids are watching everything from cartoons to game shows.

Maybe my parenting wasn't "perfect," but it was "close enough" and I think that we raised some pretty good kids despite my inability to be "perfect."

I Hate Myself

Well, it's finally happened. I knew it would happen sooner or later, but it's happened just at the absolute worst time.

The first baby shower for Laurel is February 23. There is another shower, for couples, in March and Walt and I have been talking about flying down together for that. (That means I can split up all the things I already have for the baby into two different showers so it doesn't look so overwhelming! Or I could just go shopping again :) )

Express Jet has just started low-cost flights from Sacramento to Santa Barbara. It only costs $69 one way. That puts it on a par with the cost of driving the 8 hours to Sacramento and whatever it may cost over the cost of gas is more than made up by the ability to get there in only an hour, rather than 8 hours (each way!). (Some people make it in less time, but I generally drive the speed limit and it takes me a good 7-8 hrs to get there.)

Previously, we had to either pay an astronomical amount to fly on another airline to Santa Barbara (something over $300) or fly to Burbank, rent a car, and drive 1-2 hrs up the coast to Santa Barbara, then drive back to Burbank for our return flight. Or take the train, which costs as much as the cheap flight and takes longer than driving (11 hrs, if the train is running on time).

The great thing about having Express Jet available to us now is that it would allow me to fly to Santa Barbara more often after the baby comes, so that I have a chance of not being a stranger to our grandchild.

Walt suggested I get an Express Jet frequent flyer card, certain that we would definitely get use out of it, since we would be traveling so often.

I eagerly signed up for the frequent flyer card and then went to book my first flight on Express Jet.

I have to review a show on Friday, so I would hop the 9 a.m. flight on Saturday morning and be in Santa Barbara in time for the shower, then leave mid-afternoon on Sunday. The mid-afternoon flight was more expensive (but better than having to drag someone out to the airport at 8 a.m. to get on the cheaper flight).

I was very excited when I booked the flight. I'm all set. Baby Shower here I come.

Then I checked the luggage requirements. I don't need really more than toiletries for an overnight, but I do have these shower gifts to bring too and wondered what, on a small plane, would be the restrictions.

The link about baggage took me to their general FAQ page.

And there it was.

Rules for "people of size." It appears that because I am a "person of size" (i.e., fat), I may not be permitted on the plane unless I buy a second seat.

Southwest has had this policy for a long time but I have never been questioned about it, despite the fact that I am obviously a "person of size." I am always afraid that someone is going to stop me before I get on a plane and tell me I'm too fat to fly, but since the flights are generally all full up, they can't very well sell me a second seat.

Being fatalistic, I am already seeing the handwriting on the wall. If I am able to get on this plane...this time...without having to purchase a second seat, what will happen when I go to fly home again? What will happen the next time? and the time after that?

I'm already seeing the number of times I can see our grandchild diminish because of the whole damn 300+ mile distance thing and because the airline may feel I'm too damn fat to fit on their plane.

Even if I were to start dieting again now, it would be over a year before I could be considered a regular size person. I was a "person of size" when I flew to Australia -- and I had lost 85 lbs. (but Singapore Airlines had no size restrictions).

I called Express Jet and they could give me no information, but after being initially sympathetic, the woman's voice turned very cold and I was told I really should buy a second seat; when I pointed out I would be sitting in a single seat row, she said I could "try it" at the airport and see what happens. I am sick at heart, fearing that I will be turned away at the gate and suffer not only the disappointment of not being able to get to the baby shower, but the humiliation of being rejected in front of all the other passengers. And even if I get on the plane to Santa Barbara, will it be a fight every time I have to board an Express Jet plane?

I may have finally done it. I may have eaten myself out of an early relationship with my long-awaited, already much loved grandchild.

The whole thing makes me want to cry...and probably eat, dammit.

---

I've cancelled my flight, my boss has given me the weekend off, and I'm going to take the train to Santa Barbara. I called Express Jet to cancel the flight. There is a $50 cancellation fee, which they would not waive even though it was only because of their rules that I cannot fly. I explained that it had been my intent to use their plane at least once a month for the next couple of years and she said she was very sorry they could not do business with me.

Fuck 'em!

Oh, I'm in SUCH trouble!

I had lunch with my mother today. She suggested I drive down and said she'd take me to lunch but it was a rainy day and she called when I was halfway there and asked if I wanted to go out or eat at her place. I was very glad she suggested eating in because I really didn't want to go out, once I got there.

Eating in was a much better idea. Nice and warm and cozy (and dry). Time to chat without being interrupted.

After lunch, we tried to figure out what was wrong with her VCR, which had stopped letting her record things. After trying about a zillion things and reading the troubleshooting part of the manual, we changed the batteries and that solved the problem. Doh!

(Actually, my mother had changed the batteries herself, but I kinda think she must have mistakenly put the old batteries back in instead of the new batteries...or maybe the "new" batteries were just bad.)

I left my mother's early because I had a Big Mission to accomplish.

On Saturday, I had gone to a baby shower for an old friend (friend of our kids, and our occasional dog sitter). She will be having a little boy in a few weeks and she got some absolutely adorable (dare I say "soooo cuuuuute"?) things from the hostess of the party. I asked Lindsay where she had gotten them and she told me she had shopped at Gymboree.

I looked Gymboree up on line and found out that there was an outlet right where I have to drive to and from my mother's. So I was going to scout out Gymboree on my way home, since I'd be right there and all.

There is a baby shower scheduled for our granddaughter in February and I actually already have the gift, but it wouldn't hurt to just look, would it?

I had to drive around a lot before I found Gymboree. It turned out it was in the big outlet shop mall (even better). When I found it, I noticed with delight that there was a huge "SALE" sign on the window, and next door to it was a Carters baby store which had a sign that said "SUPER DUPER SALE!"

This was going to be fun.

I didn't go crazy at Gymboree, but I did have fun. I tried to only buy things which were on sale, but did succumb to a thing or two which was full outlet price. I had a nice bag when I left.

But then I thought it wouldn't hurt to go into Carters too. Oh dear... It was an incredible sale and the choice was astronomically larger than Gymboree had been. I could have spent $1,000 or more here (but I didn't). Still, it was another decent sized bag that I was carrying when I left Carters.

I didn't dare move to the next store, Osh Kosh, figuring I'd leave that for another day, maybe after the baby comes.

It's a whole new world, this being a grandmother. I can see already that the hardest part is going to be exercising restraint (because I know that this little girl has a whole army of relatives and friends who are going to be shopping for her!) But I hope I can be forgiven for one little "the hell with it" shopping spree!

Shaniqua

We met "Shaniqua" in the flesh last night. Well, not exactly her flesh...

When I was pregnant with Jeri, we knew that she would be a "gerry" whether boy or girl. She was to be named either for her godmother or for an Irish guy, Jerry O'Keefe, both of whom had a role in Walt and I getting married. But we didn't want anybody to know the real name of the baby, so we chose the name of an obscure saint, "Eleutherius" and we called her Eleutherius until she was born and we revealed her real name.

Tom and Laurel haven't chosen a name yet, so they are calling the baby Shaniqua for now, and so we were able to "meet" her in utero.

Laurel definitely looks pregnant and Tom likes to kid her about how much weight she has gained.

I have to admit it's very cool sitting there knowing that is our granddaughter inside that little belly.

It was a full day. I took Luna over to the puppy-sitter's house before we left. That was pretty exciting because the street where I turn had a flock of wild turkeys walking across it. Wild turkeys have become a real problem at the nearby cemetery and you do occasionally see them walking down the street.

Luna went crazy trying to get at the bird. I tried to take a photo of it with my cell phone, because I didn't have a camera with me, but the photo turned out terrible...

(I will be so glad when the contract on my cell phone expires and I can upgrade to a better one!!!)

We drove to my mother's and I decided to drive out through the country as far as I could go. It was a glorious day, sunny, crisp, pollution-free. We drive out to the town of Winters and then cut over to I-80 to meet the traffic. Fortunately most of the heavy traffic seemed to be going in the opposite direction.

This was a huge day for my mother because it was the day the doctor had told her she could finally take the elastic stocking off her leg. Her accident occurred January 3 and on November 22 she was finally back to normal again.

Ned and Marta were the next to arrive, with their dog, Bouncer, who immediately became my mother's best friend.

Tom and Laurel were the last to arrive and we sat around eating Marta's 7-layer dip and chatting. One of my very favorite things to do is to listen to my adult children talking with each other. Over dinner both Tom and Ned talked about their respective jobs and it was funny listening to Marta and Laurel comparing notes on how much alike the two brothers are.

Walt finally found a good thing about having a broken wrist: he could turn the carving duties over to Tom. Tom got the turkey carved while Ned was mixing up dinner for Bouncer.

Dinner was, of course, delicious.

After dinner we sat around chatting some more and then Tom and Laurel ran the videotape of "Shaniqua's" latest ultrasound. So cool. I absolutely love watching ultrasounds. It's like magic for me, seeing what is going on inside. Of course having worked in an obstetrician's office for 10 years, I was around ob ultrasounds a lot, but it was fun seeing one of our granddaughter.

We were home by about 11 and picked up Luna for her last night here. Her foster family has offered to let her stay here until she is adopted, but we have graciously said no. Luna is a very sweet, very special little puppy who is driving me nuts because she is just so hyperactive. The foster family has kids who can play with her, and I am more than willing to let her go back to them. (I suspect the foster mother, having lived with Luna's hyperactivity, was hoping I'd agree to keep her!)

I was so exhausted when we got home that I went right to sleep and didn't even turn on the television or think about writing this journal entry.

It was a lovely Thanksgiving. The only thing that would have made it perfect would have been if Jeri and Phil could have been with us...but they'll be here for Christmas.

Baby Sykes Gets a Gift

I don't know if you remember this photo that I printed in June last year:

This was Ned's wedding and in the June entry I talked about how their gift to all the guys in the wedding party were Converse high top shoes. The girls got colored high tops.

Ned still wears high tops. It is his trademark.

When we got the message that Tom and Laurel are having a girl in April, this is what Ned & Marta had sent to them:

Tom was thrilled. He says they aren't too much "into pink," but how can you not love these shoes? I told Ned that trumped the gift I have for them, which I hope to give them at Thanksgiving.

In other news, we spent about 6 hours at Kaiser yesterday (yesterday's video was about trying to park there!) It was Walt's first routine exam following his accident and we had to get there around 9:30 so he could get x-rays before his 10:30 appointment. Knowing how parking is at that facility (abominable), I let him off while I drove around and around trying to find a place to leave the car.

He was in the doctor's office for a long time and finally came out to tell me we were going to be there a lot longer, that the doctor didn't think his wrist was healing properly, and that she wanted him to meet with an orthopedic surgeon. He looked very glum.

We left my hard-sought parking place and went to a Waffle place, since Walt just wanted some comfort food and I figured that it looked like a good "home cookin'" kinda place. It was. He had a salad and grilled cheese sandwich and I, because I need the extra calories, decided that since it was a waffle place, I'd actually have a waffle (it was delicious).

Back we went to Kaiser. I sat in the waiting room waiting for Walt for so long that I was getting upset because I was certain they were doing the procedure and they had forgotten to tell me.

But no. After about 2 hrs, Walt came out and said he had decided not to have it done.

Apparently the problem is that without the insertion of pins and a metal plate (and a second operation to have them removed after the wrist heals), he will have decreased range of motion in the up/down movement. It shouldn't affect most of what he does.

Walt weighed how many more years he may live against his real resistance to having surgery and decided he would just live with what the doctor refers to as a "deformity."

I'm kind of sorry that I wasn't in the exam room with him to know exactly what the doctor told him, but the decision has been made and he goes back in a couple of weeks for his next regular check-up. He is hoping to get the cast off in December but I don't know. Given my mother's very lengthy recovery time for her ankle, I'm not counting on anything until they actually tell him they are removing the cast!

Fingers, Day 2 - Fingers, Day 7

Things are going crazy for me this week, with a big article due tomorrow (for which I need to transcribe tapes--and my transcription unit isn't working right, so I'm having to do it using the hand-held machine), Michele's slide show, organizing things (food, pick-up of Jeri, meeting Tom, etc.) for the memorial, Rupert's return tomorrow, and just all sorts of things. Makes me feel overwhelmed and out of control.