"We Are All Around You"

This is a poem, which is a work in progress. It began with a few posted lines on a Wiki page for Youth Guardian Services (on whose board I serve) and people have been adding to it. I think it's very powerful....

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag every day.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the guy that lives on the streets because I am scared to go home.

I am the prostitute working the streets because I can't find anybody who will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.

I am the Christian that can’t find a pastor to marry me to a woman in the eyes of God.

I am one of the lucky ones, who survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year will probably be able to walk again.

I am the student who killed myself just weeks before graduating high school, because it was simply too much to bear.

I am the child that dreams of seeing my mum again, but the courts won’t let me because she lives with another woman.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised, because the court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the brother that gets called a fag just because my brother isn’t ashamed of who he is.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the girl that was raped behind my school because some stranger wanted to teach me to be a “real woman”.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the guy down the street that can’t get a disability pension because my partner is a man.

I am the woman who died when the paramedics stopped treating me because they found out I didn't have a female body.

I am the man that is afraid of losing his job, for expressing his true identity.

I am the mother that sees my son come home from school every day in tears because the other kids call him a girl.

I am the celebrity that wishes I could tell the world who I am, but I'm too scared.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the Youth Worker that sees hundreds of kids thrown out of home because they were honest with their families.

I am the girl that struggles to get up in the morning because school is so cruel to me.

I am the footballer scared to come out because I might lose my contract.

I am the boy that always wanted a Barbie, but no one would let me have one.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.

I am the woman that wants to join the army, but my family wont let me because I would look like a dyke.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I’m a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”.

I am the bisexual whose friends don't want her to go to a movie with them because there'll be a homophobe there, and they don't want him to get mad at them for inviting me.

I am the girl who can't hang out with girls because they assume that if I'm nice to them I have a crush on them.

I am the teenager who doesn't tell my mother the truth in fear she'll tell my homophobic father.

I am the bisexual who does not tell her parents for fear of being shunned for what I am.

I am the woman now 50 who vowed at 13 never to hide the fact I am bisexual.

I am the woman who learned the true meaning of love and commitment from a couple together for more than 40 years, both of whom I called Uncle.

I am the man who lost his family, because my mother's devotion to her religion was stronger than her maternal love for her son.

I am a woman who lost her family, because they simply couldn't accept, that I am bisexual and I have as the same rights to be happy as everyone has.

I am the gay teenager whose zealot parents yanked him out of public school and threw him into an academically inferior fundamentalist religious school in an attempt to un-gay him.

I am a woman who lost her virginity because her best friends decided for her that she had to be with a man before she can decide she's gay, so they drugged her one night and set her up with two guys.

I am the gay kid whose mother won't accept his sexuality.

I am the transsexual woman who doesn't think transsexuals are just fodder for comedy.

I am the gay man whose parents disowned me for being gay and then refused to come to my funeral when I died of AIDS.

I am the girl who tried to kill herself more times than she can count because it was easier than telling her father his son was a lesbian.

I am the girl who's fine with two women being in love.

We are the parents who will love our boys no matter who they choose to love when they grow up.

I am the boy whose friend committed suicide at 14 because he was harassed at school and called a fag.

I am the child told to never come back home,ever, because I made the mistake of trusting in the love of my parents.

I am the mother that has no issue with my son wanting the "girl" toy in his Happy Meal instead of the "boy" toy.

I am the bisexual girl who has to watch her mum bow her head, close her eyes, fold her hands and pray for her soul every time she say another girl is pretty or that maybe she doesn't want to marry a man.

I am the woman who married a man because that's what I was "supposed to do" even though I really wanted to marry a woman.

I am the father of a gay woman, and I *DO* accept her sexuality and I also accept her wife as my daughter-in-law.

I am the girl who supports gay marriage even when her religion is against it, because God supports love.

I am the woman who wants nothing more than to marry the woman of her dreams because deep down inside, I have always wanted a wife.

I am the man who wanted to join the military but whose honour prevented him from lying about who he loves.

I am the girl who, when supporting homosexuals, was asked if she was bisexual or lesbian and when the answer was no, the other person was surprised.

I am the man whose parents had abused because I could not be the daughter they always wanted.

I was the boy who was told I couldn't sing because only "real men don't perform in musicals and choirs."

I am the bisexual single mother who hopes for a better, more accepting future for my son.

I am the straight woman who will accept all my fellow humans for what and who they are because I would like them to do the same for me, and who also believes that equal rights under the law apply to EVERYONE.

I am the openly lesbian mother who helplessly watched all 3 of her daughters get ridiculed for having lesbian mothers, whose friends were never allowed to sleep over, who were never invited for sleepovers with those brave enough to be their friends.

I am the man whose nephew tells me he doesn't care what any one says about me, he will love me no matter what.

I am the lesbian who stands tall knowing I answer to no one but Jesus.

I am a soldier that loves his country enough to lay down his life to defend it, even if my country does not want me

I am the minister who happily performs commitment ceremonies for gay couples, and fights by their side for their right to make it legal.

I am the man who willingly became the target of hate so that I could be the one voice and one set of ears listening to the would-be suicides who had nowhere else to turn.

I am the girl frustrated because I want see my best friend get married one day to the man he loves.

I am the bisexual who is told by both straights and gays that I need to get off the fence and make up my mind.

I am a woman that can't sit freely in your church beside her wife without fear of community backlash on her family.

I am the mother whose children were told by their church and society that I was trying to turn them gay, when I was just trying to raise open-minded boys who could enjoy all things, including dancing, singing, and drama.

I am the lesbian that was demoted and had my hours cut because my boss said my lesbian tattoo is an advertisement that I am gay and that it is "disrespectful".

I am the gay boy part of a true Christian family that knows love crosses far more than the physical form and that love is just that: love.

I am the daughter who argues with her mother on a regular basis about my children's right to choose their own partner, regardless of gender.

I am the school administrator that is fighting to make my school a safe environment for ALL so that everyone feels loved and supported for who they are.

I am the girl who is proud of my baby sister for being unafraid to be her true self.

I am the straight woman who will stand by her Transgender spouse, who will walk in the Gay Pride parade with her GLBT friends, who will return the love and support that the GLBT community has given to her.

I am the man confined to a wheelchair, unable to walk or even feed myself, because of the injuries I suffered at the hands of a group of homophobes.

I am the woman who will never stop fighting against discrimination, not because I'm discriminated against, but because it is WRONG.

I am the young gay girl who is part of a messed up world, who stands up for EQUALITY of all.

I am the gay girl who cries at night, who fakes a smile, who was yelled at for being honest.

I am the country girl who fled her home for the city the moment she graduated and misses home so much, but is too terrified to go back.

I am the girl who has to walk down the hallway every day and pretend to be someone she's not.


We are all around you.

We are the millions that want the hate to end.

Gay Kids are Dying

Today was the day when people were asked to wear purple to express our feeing about bullying and to honor the gay kids (and bullied non-gay kids who were perceived as gay) who have committed suicide because they didn't see that their lives would ever get better.

Ready the story of my friend Gabi's son, Bill. I've linked this before, but perhaps I have new readers who have not read it before. Be sure to scroll to the bottom and play the song that Steve wrote, called "Gabi's Song"


Today Dan Savage posted a column in response to a letter he received. I could not think of any better way to spotlight the situation than to repost it. Warning--explicit language, which I think is entirely justified, given the circumstances.

Dear Dan: I was listening to the radio yesterday morning, and I heard an interview with you about your It Gets Better campaign. I was saddened and frustrated with your comments regarding people of faith and their perpetuation of bullying. As someone who loves the Lord and does not support gay marriage, I can honestly say I was heartbroken to hear about the young man who took his own life.

If your message is that we should not judge people based on their sexual preference, how do you justify judging entire groups of people for any other reason (including their faith)? There is no part of me that took any pleasure in what happened to that young man, and I know for a fact that is true of many other people who disagree with your viewpoint.

To that end, to imply that I would somehow encourage my children to mock, hurt, or intimidate another person for any reason is completely unfounded and offensive. Being a follower of Christ is, above all things, a recognition that we are all imperfect, fallible, and in desperate need of a savior. We cannot believe that we are better or more worthy than other people.

Please consider your viewpoint, and please be more careful with your words in the future.

—L.R.

Savage:

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt by my comments.

No, wait. I'm not. Gay kids are dying. So let's try to keep things in perspective: Fuck your feelings.

A question: Do you "support" atheist marriage? Interfaith marriage? Divorce and remarriage? All are legal, all go against Christian and/or traditional ideas about marriage, and yet there's no "Christian" movement to deny marriage rights to atheists or people marrying outside their respective faiths or people divorcing and remarrying.

Why the hell not?

Sorry, L.R., but so long as you support the denial of marriage rights to same-sex couples, it's clear that you do believe that some people—straight people—are "better or more worthy" than others.

And—sorry—but you are partly responsible for the bullying and physical violence being visited on vulnerable LGBT children. The kids of people who see gay people as sinful or damaged or disordered and unworthy of full civil equality—even if those people strive to express their bigotry in the politest possible way (at least when they happen to be addressing a gay person)—learn to see gay people as sinful, damaged, disordered, and unworthy. And while there may not be any gay adults or couples where you live, or at your church, or in your workplace, I promise you that there are gay and lesbian children in your schools. And while you can only attack gays and lesbians at the ballot box, nice and impersonally, your children have the option of attacking actual gays and lesbians, in person, in real time.

Real gay and lesbian children. Not political abstractions, not "sinners." Gay and lesbian children.

Try to keep up: The dehumanizing bigotries that fall from the lips of "faithful Christians," and the lies about us that vomit out from the pulpits of churches that "faithful Christians" drag their kids to on Sundays, give your children license to verbally abuse, humiliate, and condemn the gay children they encounter at school. And many of your children—having listened to Mom and Dad talk about how gay marriage is a threat to family and how gay sex makes their magic sky friend Jesus cry—feel justified in physically abusing the LGBT children they encounter in their schools. You don't have to explicitly "encourage [your] children to mock, hurt, or intimidate" queer kids. Your encouragement—along with your hatred and fear—is implicit. It's here, it's clear, and we're seeing the fruits of it: dead children.

Oh, and those same dehumanizing bigotries that fill your straight children with hate? They fill your gay children with suicidal despair. And you have the nerve to ask me to be more careful with my words?

Did that hurt to hear? Good. But it couldn't have hurt nearly as much as what was said and done to Asher Brown and Justin Aaberg and Billy Lucas and Cody Barker and Seth Walsh—day-in, day-out for years—at schools filled with bigoted little monsters created not in the image of a loving God, but in the image of the hateful and false "followers of Christ" they call Mom and Dad.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=5135029%EF%BB%BF

http://www.facebook.com/DanSavage