Monday, July 25, 2016

A Visit

We enjoyed a visit with Tom and family this weekend.  We were going o have a famiy meeting about "things" -- my mother's finances, our finances, thoughts about how long Walt and I want to live in this house and what should happen with it, etc.  Also it would be a chance to have a visit with Grandma, since they hadn't seen her since Christmas.

But the day before had been my mother's worst  It was as if overnight her memory disappeared.  She didn't know where she was, she didn't know anybody. ("You tell me you're Bev and your my daughter, and I believe you, but that means nothing to me.")  On seeing a photo of Jeri, the one person I felt she would always remember, "I never met her."  On seeing a photo of her beloved husband whom she has talked so often of wanting to join in the afterlife, "He looks like a nice man, but I don't know him."  I was on the verge of breaking down and had to leave.  When I left her, she was sitting in a chair repeating "I'm going to have to learn how to live with this."  I went home crying.

She tends to go in waves and I was hoping that by the next day things would be better, but I knew that a visit from the whole family would overwhelm her, so instead of everyone going, just Ned and Tom went and they reported than other than having to be reminded to put a shirt on over her bra, things were as normal as they ever are these days.

But we did have a good time with the girls.  I knew that with Uncle Ned there, the girls would have absolutely no interest in either of their grandparents, and that was true, but I enjoyed watching them play.

Lacie is a master puzzle worker.

In fact, watching her zip through the puzzles I'd bought for the girls I have this great idea that the next time they come, we should have Lacie and my mother work a simple puzzle together, since my mother has always been such a puzzle fiend.  Of course that assumes that my mother will still be able to work puzzles by that time.

Bri had an iPad from her grandfather on which to play games while the grownups had their conversation.

And both girls loved it when Marta read to them.

I discovered that our apple tree was dripping with apples that are just barely ripe (will be better in a week), and Bri helped me collect some apples for them to take home with them.

Both girls enjoyed apples while doing a Concentration game with Marta.

So we enjoyed visiting with the girls and we had a good conversation about money and practicality matters.  My first assignment (which I had planned anyway) is to meet with the resident services director to get some feedback on the new quirks I am seeing with my mother (she zones out briefly, with eyes opened or closed, unaware of anything around her.  A few second later, she "comes to" again with a shake and looking like she doesn't know where she is, but then reorients herself).  I want to find out her thoughts on this -- TIA? Something else? -- and also to investigate cost for upping her level of care.

As for what to be done with this big empty nest, I told Ned that I don't want to even think about moving anywhere for at least 2-3 years so I have a chance to enjoy this lovely new office I have!

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