Too WHAT?

One thing I really hate is arriving at a theatre 10 minutes before show time and being made to stand around in the lobby until they open the doors. I can understand if I were half an hour early, but at 10 minutes before the show starts, you should be able to go in and sit down. If your set isn't finished by 10 minutes before show time, it's too bad! And if I am not arriving on opening night there is even less reason for making the audience stand and wait until right before curtain time to enter the theater (I get my best reading done in theaters before the show and at intermission!)

I recently attended an opening at a theatre with a teeny lobby, a concrete floor and doors that didn't open until just about the time the play was supposed to be starting. There was nowhere to sit and we were all crammed into this tiny space, like prisoners in a holding cell.

But as I looked around at my fellow soon-to-be audience members, I realized that we have been places where Walt and I are the oldest couple in the audience (that would have been Puppetry of the Penis where Walt looked around and declared "Well, someone has to be the oldest one here, and I guess it's me.").

We have been places where we are, if not THE youngest in the audience, then pretty darn near close to the youngest.

I have been at plays where I am the fattest person there. In fact, that is pretty much every play I have ever attended in the last 20 or so years.

However, this particular performance was the first time I ever felt that Walt and I were too SHORT to be part of the audience. It was like we had stumbled into an audition for the Harlem Globetrotters. Even the women were much taller than I was. What was there about this play that brought out the giants? I don't know. But I was relieved when a woman who pretty much bordered on being a "little person" walked in. At least we were taller than somebody!

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I was finally able to get out of the house today.

I mean that literally.

Yesterday I tried to leave the house and the door would not open. It was unlocked. The door knob turned, but the door just wouldn't budge.

I sent a text message to Walt at work that the door was unlocked but wouldn't open and to be forewarned that he was probably going to need to use some shoulder action to get it to open when he got home.

Only it didn't open for him either. It turns out that the mechanism in the doorknob assembly (or whatever you call it) was broken. If you fiddled with it long enough you could get it to open from the inside, but not from the outside. I didn't even try. I just stayed in the house.

He went out this afternoon and bought a whole new doorknob assembly and got it all put together, but for some reason it didn't work. The only way he could keep the door closed now was by putting the vacuum cleaner up against it and then going out the back gate to the car and back to the hardware store.

But by the time we went out this evening, we had a working door again and new keys (it's nice to be married to a handyman!). Then we went and got into our rental car, which I had not ridden in before, and left. I've decided I don't like the ride in this Nisssan. It needs better shocks or something. I couldn't read comfortably in the car because my iTouch kept jerking around. So I think we can cross Nissan off the list as a possible brand of car.

No final verdict on the car, but we are pretty certain that they are going to give us money and tell us that the car isn't worth fixing. Then we get to go car shopping. The thing I hate most of all because of all the games you have to play with the car dealers!