Yes, I've Started

If the Jello shirt has been packed, that's half the battle.  The thing with the butterflies on it is a scarf.  I know we will need them for religious buildings this trip, so I have a couple.  This particular scarf is one I bought in Hong Kong.  Our trips are starting to blend together.

The day started very early, so I am groggy as I type this.  Both my mother and I had doctor-ordered blood work to be done and it was supposed to be fasting blood work.  I had no expectation that my mother would remember not to eat, so I went and posted a big sign on the inside of her front door and then decided we would go at 7:30 before she forgot, didn't see the sign, and went to breakfast anyway.

We didn't have to be there at any specific time, we just needed to be fasting.  I went over to Atria at 7:30 and let myself in quietly.  She was still in bed.  I quietly let myself out onto the patio and sat there reading.  It was a gorgeous morning, sunny, cool, but not chilly, the trees glowing from the sun.  I sat there reading for an hour before I heard her up and moving around.

I decided to let her do whatever it is that she does in the morning and when she came out into the living room, she would find me on the patio.

When she did come out onto the patio, it was to tell me that she had a fall in the bedroom.  There is nothing someone wants to hear less from a 94 year old woman than "I've fallen."  Her hip was hurting from where she hit it, but she seemed to be able to get around OK, so we went off to Kaiser and got our blood work done.  

We came back and had breakfast at Atria.  Her hip was hurting more now, because the pain had more chance to settle in, but she still seemed to be OK.   But to be sure, I came home and wrote a note to Ned, telling him that she had fallen, and giving him all of her medical information--medical record number, name of her doctor, phone number of the Kaiser advice nurse, etc.  All that was left for me to do was to worry.

Ed was coming to see her in the afternoon and I asked him to get her some Aleve, which he did.  I took the afternoon off and went with Walt to our local outlet store, where he was looking to get a new suitcase and I figured I'd tag along and see if I could find Omar the Tentmaker and see if he had any pants in my size.

In all honesty, I cannot remember the last time I bought clothes that weren't ordered by mail from a catalog.  I would rather visit my dentist than go clothes shopping because it's so depressing.  

I can't remember the last time I looked at myself in a full length mirror, or really looked at myself closely in any mirror.

The first look reveals how shabby I look...fat lady in ill-fitting clothes that are threadbare in some of the seams.  The ugly truth of all of my fat rolls is there and can't be ignored.  It's enough to shoot yourself right there, if you were into that sort of thing.

But, miraculously, I did find a couple of pairs of slacks that fit me.  I also discovered that in Lane Bryant pant sizes, I am a "petite."   That refers to length, not to circumference.  The "average" pants dragged on the floor.  I remember when I was a cross between "average" and "tall."  How I have shrunk!

I also managed to get some bras.  The last bra I bought was in 2003.  I bought four bras at that time and only one remains and I wear it all the time.  As with shoes, it seems impossible to find my size.  I finally discovered that I wear a 40-something (it's too embarrassing to state the real number) and they had a ton of them in a D cup size, but I am a C cup size and I couldn't find a single one in that cup size.  But I need the bra now so I went with the D cup.  It's not like I'm going to be glamorous anyway.  If it works more or less, I'll take it.

When we returned home, I went back to Atria to pick up my mother's laundry to get it washed so she will have NO dirty clothes when I leave and should be able to last 3 weeks without my doing a laundry.

Ed was there and had been visiting for a couple of hours.  We walked out together after telling my mother goodbye.  He said she had told him she fell twice, once in the bathroom and once on the patio and that later she told him she had fallen in the kitchen.  I assured him that I was there and that she did not fall in the kitchen, bathroom or patio. He is amazed at how much she doesn't remember and told me to get a good rest, and that he realized how intense this has all been for me.

Yeah, I'm going to enjoy the time away...but I'm also going to worry the whole time that everything is going all right with her.  I'm just so glad that she's at Atria and not living by herself in Terra Linda!