Today it was Berkeley

Caroline's time here is growing short.  She will be working Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then flying back to Edinburgh on Thursday.  So this is her last weekend to get any sightseeing done.  We had planned to go to Berkeley today.  She also had yesterday off and took the opportunity to give Lizzie a bath.  Lizzie wasn't too pleased, but she is very clean now.

We lazed around the house until mid-afternoon and then went down to a place here in town that she had discovered with some of her fellow students last week.  It's called Cream and it's a place where you choose your flavor of cookie and your flavor of ice cream and they make an ice cream sandwich for you.  I had salted caramel ice cream between two snickerdoodles and my sandwich was big, but delicious.

We walked from Cream to the theater where we saw the new Beauty and the Beast, which I loved and highly recommend.

After the movie, Caroline decided she was going cook dinner for us, so we stopped at the store to get a few things--I already had most of the things she needed.

She whipped up a fantastic shrimp curry, which  was so easy I don't even need a recipe.  You thin slice whatever veggies you want (she used snow peas, asparagus and carrots) and par boil them.

You chop garlic and onions and sauté until soft, then add the drained vegetables and a jar of curry paste (that one was new to me).  Stir all together and add a can of coconut milk and cook until the liquid is reduced and the shrimp are cooked.

It was fabulous and I will definitely be making it again.

We had a quiet morning today and around noon-ish, we got in the car to drive to Berkeley.  Caroline had asked her friend, who had been here before and was excited that Caroline would be in Berkeley, what sights she recommended.  One that she suggested was the Berkeley marina, where I had not been in years (other than driving by on the way to San Francisco).  We drove around a bit and then stopped in a restaurant called Skates.

We had a window table with a gorgeous view!

And all three of us ordered the Dutch baby with Dungeness crab and sliced Granny Smith apples, which met my criteria for:  something I'd never had before, something with crab in it, and something delicious.

We don't know what this woman ordered but it arrived in a dish with billowing white coming out of it and it billowed for awhile (note that she is holding her cell phone up trying to take a photo).

From the Marina, we drove up to the campus and gave a quick driving tour before finding a place to park.  Caroline was looking for a specific shirt...

Interestingly, she seems amazed at how much crap you can put a logo on.  We were in this HUGE store filled with shirts, hats and just about anything you can think of with the UC Berkeley (or the California) logo.  But she did make a couple of purchases and then we headed over to campus, where I had Walt give her the grand tour while I sat in Sproul plaza in front of the Administration building and remembered the 1960s and the Free Speech movement that all started here.

 We came back to Davis, had a brief rest and fed the dogs and then went off to Sushi Limited for dinner.  I was going to take pictures, but didn't touch my camera.  Trust me.   It was delicious...and the Lincoln Hills sushi roll is still the best thing on the menu.

Gratitude Journal for March

My friend Toni Bernhard, the author of three best selling books on coping with chronic illness and a columnist for Psychology Today, shares a blog with her daughter Mara, who, many years ago, was a member of the Davis High Jazz Choir with Tom and David.  Or maybe it was with Paul.  Anyway, she was a lovely girl and, from following her posts on Facebook and Instagram, she has grown into a lovely woman and mother.

In their introduction to the blog in 2015, Mara wrote an explanation of who they both are

Facts about Toni: Breast cancer survivor, Sociology major, law professor, married for a long time, obsessed with her dog Scout, artist, has literally crocheted me about 100 scarves, has a left-handed son.

Facts about Mara: Cut my own bangs every week, Political Science major, dance teacher, married for fewer years than Toni but still for a long time, have two cats and a dog but would also like a pig and a goat, own at least 100 scarves, have a left-handed daughter.

Toni also contracted a chronic illness on a trip to Paris in 2001, just 5 months after the birth of her granddaughter.  They assumed it was a virus, but it just never went away.  16 years later she is still sick and the blog was written to answer questions and to share how they have coped with Toni's illness for all these years.

Today, their blog entry was "Our Gratitude List for March  What are You Grateful for?"

There is so much negativity in the world today that it's good to step aside and look at the good in the world.  So here is my gratitude list for March.

1.  Clouds and blossoms

It seems that every year in March, I have an entry about how beautiful the sky is and how gorgeous the blossoms are.  This year was no exception.

The skies around here are sometime so gorgeous I just have to stop and take it all in.  When you add the profusion of blossoms at this time of year, it makes me happy to live in this area. The beauty of nature was enough that I was able to drag my mother out of Atriato go for a drive and out to lunch, and it was a joy to see how much enjoyment she got out of looking at the clouds and the blossoms.

2.  My Mother

While her dementia slowly gets worse and worse, I am grateful that she has not had any major "spells" this month and that she has required no trips to the emergency room.  I am also grateful that since we have put her on full assisted living she seems to be more "settled."  We may discuss the same thing over and over again, but she has not had a serious anxiety attack all month and she is spending more time sitting out in the hall outside the dining room, where she seems to recognize some of the people who pass by.

3.  Caroline

I was nervous about having another young person come to live with us, especially someone who is the daughter of a friend and who would come into all of this chaos, but Caroline has proven to be a lovely young lady who has fit in here beautifully.  She may go home and talk with her friends about the conditions under which she had to live, but she hasn't so much as blinked at anything. 

Additionally, it has been fun having an excuse to go on tourist trips again.  I always enjoyed them during our hosting years and it's nice to have them back again though they are more exhausting than I remember them being 20+ years ago!

4.  Sleep

For some reason I am sleeping these days.  I go to bed around midnight or earlier and, except for the 3 am. waking time, after which I go right back to sleep, I have been sleeping until 7 or so.  This is almost NORMAL.  Whoda thunk?

5. Diclofenac Sodium

I never dreamed that a topical gel could make the difference of night and day to the pain in my back.  Unless I forget to apply it 2x/day, it really helps.  I told my doctor that it's not perfect, but it's about 80% perfect.  I still get occasional back pain, but it is so much less than it has been for years that I can't believe it.

6. Bri and Benny

The advent of Benny and my correspondence with Brianna about Benny's adventures (and her letters about her Gasper's adventures) has been a real joy in my life this month.  I hope we have established something that will continue for as long as she believes in the magic of a stuffed animal having an animate life.

I will do as Toni and Mara have done and toss this back to you.  What have you been grateful in March?

Compassion Changes

Well, we've known for several months that Compassion was going to have to close its centers in India and that I would lose my two kids there.  It was not a big loss of Venkanna, though he was an excellent letter writer.  But Anjali was the first of my sponsored kids and I have been writing to her for 9 years.  I have watched her grow from a little girl into a young woman and looked forward to watching her continue her schooling and graduate before her sponsorship ended.  Alas, the government of India has put an end to that dream.

So India was something I expected.  What I did not expect was that Brayan, the boy from Honduras we took on when I read a book about what kids go through trying to escape the terrible conditions in Honduras, would leave the program.  I would love to know what happened.  They say he just stopped coming.  He was one of my best letter writers and alluded several times to the dangerous atmosphere near his home (his grandmother, with whom he lived, would not let him o outside by himself, for example).  This was precisely why I wanted to sponsor a boy in Honduras, knowing we could not do anything to improve conditions in the country, but we could perhaps make a difference in the life of one child.

Well, Brayan is gone and I don't even have the opportunity to write him a farewell letter, since they don't know what happened to him.

But we have added two new children.

Jorleny is a 12 year old girl from Honduras.  I had hoped to sponsor another boy, but when I saw her pictures, and saw that she was close to Brianna's age, I decided to sponsor her. (She's in 4th grade; Brianna is in 3rd.)

Another deciding factor was that she is that rare Compassion child who is doing "above average" in school (Brayan was too). 
Plus she has a very long list of hobbies which include:

Dancing and/or Drama
Arts & Crafts
Going on Field Trips
Learning about God
Listening to Bible Stories
Playing Games
Bicycling, swimming and walking
Hide and Seek
Jacks
Music and singing
Reading

I have sent off a welcome letter, which includes the standard family photos, including the two dogs, and I have asked for a better quality photo than the one I downloaded from Compassion itself.

Dilan is exactly the kind of child that I do not choose to sponsor when I am looking through all the photos of available children.

For one thing, he's cute and only 4 years old.  Those are the kids who are snapped up by families who want to help little kids.

I tend to prefer older children who have a harder time finding sponsors, but despite my requet for an older boy from Honduras, they gave me Dilan from Colombia.  I can only assume it was meant to be so I won't send him back.

But I know that I am in for years of letters that say essentially "I am fine, how are you?" and thank me for being a sponsor.  He will be much older than this before, if ever, he actually writes something substantive.  But he is cute...  And Fred, from the Philippines, was about his age when I started writing to him and he has turned into a nice little letter writer, about five years later.

Dilan likes to play soccer, as well as roll a ball and roll a hoop.  Since he is Lacie's age, it will be easier, I guess, to decide how to write to him, since I write to her all the time.  He's in kindergarten, so no idea what his school performance is going to be.

The changes in Compassion over the years I have been a sponsor have taught me not to invest my heart so strongly in any of the kids, but to enjoy them a day at a time, as I have learned to do in my real life, and expect that at any moment it could all end.

As for our current in-house sponsored kid, the steak dinner for Caroline was a big hit last night and word from her mother is that she is enjoying her time here.  She is getting ready to attend a fancy dress ball when she returns to Edinburgh, so she shopped on line for a dress here.  She modeled two of the choices last night.  Both were lovely but we both preferred the red one.

(Polly seemed to agree)

Just Leave Me ALONE!

I'm so tired of people asking me for money, I decided to make a list of everyone who has sent email today asking for money:

Cheryl actually called.  She says she is my "Google specialist" and that she has a front page position for a business like mine, which I thought interesting since I have no business to advertise.

For his upcoming birthday, Barney Frank wants me to donate to help democrats win the next election
Steve Sisneros, Donna Brazile, Martin Sheen and James Carville each sent identical letters asking me to contribute to elect democrats in the next election.

The World Wildlife Fund will use my money to combat climate change

Someone wants me to send money to fight the slaughter of whales in Norway

World Vision wants me to donate to fight famine

Daly Kos thinks I should donate money to fight for privacy on the internet.  They also want me to send money to support a filibuster of Gorsuch

Care2 wants me to send money to stop cyanide poisoning

Carol King wants $4 to elect democrats

DCCC wants $5 to elect the democrat in Georgia (I've been getting this message at least once a day for a couple of weeks)

Act Blue also wants me to help get out the vote for Jon Ossoff in Georgia

MoveOn wants me to help prevent the removal first Black State Attorney in Florida because of her position against the death penalty.  The group Color of Change also wants my money to fight this issue

Robert Cruckshank (Democracy for America) wants a donation for Medicare for All

Kersha Deibel and Kelly Robinson from Planned Parenthood both want donations for the upcoming "Pink out America" event.

The Center for Biological Diversity wants a donation to help stop the pipeline

"KG" wants money to fight for Health Care and Climate Change

Int'l Wildlife funds wants me to send money to save the seals

Friends of the Earth wants to fight for a Clean Power Plan

Move On wants money to stop the building of The Wall and Trump's immigration policy

Oxfam wants financial assistance fighting Climate Change

Emily’s List just wants money to help  elect women

Sac LGBT Community is fighting for Transgender rights

Claire McCaskill sends an innocent looking survey about the Trump Agenda that ends with $5 plea for her upcoming reelection.

ACLU wants money to help block executive orders

The Courage Campaign wants me to help them pass the Religious Freedom Act (anti Muslim-Ban)
DCCC wants $4 to take back congress

Child Health Development Studies wants my support to continue student health investigations.

The Michael J. Fox Foundation wants money to help continue research on a new drug.

Eagle Creek wants me to support their clean water efforts

and Nancy Pelosi writes; "Donna Brazile emailed, Martin Sheen emailed, Barney Frank emailed, James Carville emailed, Carole King emailed. And now I’m emailing again."

This is just up to 3 p.m.  Most of these are things that would ordinarily not make it into my in-box, since I just delete them but today I was interested to see just how many requests for "just $3" or "just $4" or, in McCaskill's case "just $5."

It's just overwhelming and if you are a caring person and a concerned citizen, there are just too many requests for too many causes to decide which is the most important...and if you are a suspicious person, you begin to wonder how many of these requests are legitimate (especially requests like the identical ones from popular people)

---

Noticing that my mother was out of toilet paper yesterday, I went over today for lunch and to replenish her supply.  Also, the spindle holding the roll was gone again.  I think that when she finishes a roll and removes it, by the time she has thrown away the roll, she forgets what the spindle is for and throws it away.  She seems to be doing OK with putting the TP on the bathroom counter, so there doesn't seem to be any point to buying a replacement that she will just throw away.

We had a nice lunch and then we even had a brief real conversation, with her asking again what's wrong with her and me explaining about dementia and reminding her that both her mother and sister had it and that she was not as bad as they were.  That always seems to make her feel better about having this condition.


 I came home and took a nap.  I seem to find that after spending an hour or so at Atria, I need a nap to refresh.  Then I got up to make chocolate chip cookies.  Caroline was not feeling well after her ice cream indulgence of last night, with her friends, so I figured I'd make something without milk in it for her for dessert tonight.  Now I am marinating steak in the chimmichurri sauce her mother sent me the recipe for.  It has been so long since I cooked a steak I hope I don't screw it up!

Caroline's sad day

Caroline reported that it had been a sad day for everyone at the vet hospital yesterday, as there were so many deaths.  A cat she had treated several times for congestive heart failure finally died.  A "lovely German shepherd" had cancer and died.  And she wasn't alone.  She said everyone was having animals with problems that ultimately killed them.

This is one of the problems with a vet hospital that is often the last resort for many folks with sick pets.

 

But at home there was Polly, who has finally accepted Caroline as an OK person.  She still barks some, but it's more the same bark she has for us:  "You're standing up so certainly you are going to feed me."  She will let Caroline take her into her lap, but she isn't comfortable there, but then if I lifted her up and put her in my lap, she wouldn't be happy either.  Still, her love can be bought.

My day was quiet. After the busy weekend, it was nice to have nothing to do.  I had a dentist appointment in the late morning.  It was a nothing appointment, just having a final crown put on, so it was more a chance to visit with Cindy.

I was going to go to Atria for lunch but it was too late when I left Cindy's, so I went shopping first, dropped food off at home, and then went to see my mother.  She was sitting in the lobby outside the restaurant again and we had a quiet visit.  Her "I don't understand you so I'll pick a topic" thing this time was my hair.  Whenever she didn't understand or follow what I was saying, she told me how pretty my hair was.  The things she is most likely to focus on are hair (loves mine, hates hers, loves anybody at Atria with white hair), her skin (hates the brown spots because they make her look old), and shoes (she tells me how pretty my Birkenstocks are every time I visit her.)  It's nice that she uses how "pretty" things and people are.  So much nicer than if she gripes about everything.

She didn't want to go to her apartment with me, so I went by myself to pick up her laundry.  I have given up trying to explain to her the difference between clothes hamper, garbage, and Poise package.  She has dirty laundry in each, and used pee pads in each.  I have to go through all three receptacles carefully to be sure to get all the laundry and throw away the things that need to be thrown away.

But coming home was fun. I just love streaming video!

Berklee College of Music presents a musical theater writing concert each year.  It's a program Jeri helped create several years ago, teaching students how to write for musical theater, and actors learning how to write and perform for musical theater.  She said it was a natural for the school, since the musicians especially, are likely to go on to playing for musical theater productions, since it is a common way for musicians to make music (Jeri has been doing it for years).

So each year they have a contest and choose the best dozen or so songs that have been written and then perform them with full orchestral accompaniment and choreography.  It's a lot of fun and the show is streamed live, so we get to sit here in California and watch the show in Boston.

The first couple of years that we watched, Jeri conducted the orchestra, but she did not this year; however, she did come on to introduce the band at the end, so we got a glimpse of her too.

These are the times when I love modern technology!

Not a Normal Family

Over dinner at our Mexican daughter Marie's restaurant in Elk Grove tonight, we reminisced about the year she lived with us while she was finishing high school and some of the weird things that went on. "You are not a normal family," she laughed.  I liked that!

 

It had been a very full day.  My plan had been to leave the house at 10:30 so we would have lots of time for wine tasting in the Napa Valley, but it was actually 12:30 before we left Davis.  We drove to Napa...

 

...where we first stopped at the V. Sattui Winery, which is owned, coincidentally, by the family of the woman my father dated before he married my mother back in 1940.  This is a beautiful old estate winery, with lots of picturesque stuff and a taste of 5 wines costs $15, which was waaay more than we wanted to pay (I am remembering, fondly, the days when all these wineries offered free tastes).  But we did wander around and snap pictures of the old estate.

 

The tasting room/deli was a zoo.

 

We left quickly and decide to skip the "free" wineries close by and go to the Vincent Arroyo Winery at the far end of the valley, where we knew there was free tasting and a dog to play with.  We had some problem getting there because a bridge was out and we had to find a way around the washout, but Walt finally did and we arrived at the winery.  

 

Vincent Arroyo is not one of your big brick edifices with caves in which to age wine, but it is free for tasting, the wine is good (we bought 4 bottles of wine and a bottle of port, along with some thick balsamic vinegar), the tour was so comprehensive that I felt if we had $800,000/acre to buy land we could probably start our own winery.  And best of all there was Rosie, the winery dog, passionate about having people throw a tennis ball for her.

 

(We actually discovered this winery through Char many years ago.  Vincent Arroyo is a friend of a friend of ours from UC Berkeley)

The big wineries charge you big bucks (some as much as $30) to taste a few wines.  The guy who pours will tell you a bit about the wine and pour you a splash in your glass and then move on to the next wine.

There were eight wines and a bottle of Port for us to taste at Vincent Arroyo and the "tastes" were generous.  They have two brands which are their own.  One is named "Nameless" and the other is named "Bodega."  Nameless was a cat and Bodega was their chocolate lab  We actually liked the Bodega and bought two bottles.  Our guide told us it's his favorite wine with steak, so steak is on the menu later this week.

He also gave us a winery tour, which, given that it is a tiny winery, didn't take long, but describing the process of harvesting, crushing, and fermenting the grapes and how they store it and age it and how they make their blends took a lot of time (while Rosie kept bringing us a ball to throw).

My knees were giving out, and I was also the designated driver, so I gave up tasting the rest of the wines and went outside to sit in rocking chairs made from old wine barrels.  When the tour group went out to look at the vineyard and learn about pruning the vines, the tour guide asked first if I wanted him to bring me more wine.  You won't find that at V. Sattui, or any other big winery,

 

I don't know how long we were there, but long enough to realize that we had no time for any other winery (after the tour here we didn't need one) and that we now had to rush back to Davis because we were meeting Ned and Marta at Marie's restaurant at 7:00.

We got home at 5:30 and had to leave for Elk Grove by 6:15 and, miraculously, we arrived in the parking lot of the restaurant at 6:59.

Dinner was, as always, wonderful and I loved showing off the decor to Caroline.  There is a lot of a Day of the Dead theme.

After a leisurely dinner with more wine (beer for Caroline), we finally had to leave.  Marta had to get up for work in the morning and Caroline has to get up for her class.  

It was a white knuckle drive home for this designated driver as it was raining and I hate that part of the highway under the best of circumstances, so the combination of rain and dark made it just that much worse.  It was a relief to arrive home safely. But what a fun day this "not normal" family had today!

Sunday Stealing

I actually think we have done this one (or at least many of the questions) before, but it's late and I'm tired, so what the heck...

1. What is the meaning of your blog’s name?

Funny the World is from a song our kids band performed and it seemed appropriate at the time I started this blog in March of 2000, which was shortly after our second son died (the other son who died died four years before):

Funny the world in a world all alone
I feel like I've lost everything that I own
Funny the funnies aren't funny any more.
Funny the tears as they fall from my eyes
There are two kinds of tears--
one from truth, one from lies
There's a broken soldier,
who's going home...

2. Why did you start your blogging?
I was an Erma Bombeck wannabe and wanted to see if I could produce a column-length entry every day.  6612 entries later, I think I proved I can, though nobody has come offering to publish it.  Also, my friend Steve Schalchlin, who is on the record as something like the 4th person in the world to start an on-line journal, was an inspiration and I figured if he could do it, I could.  I could and did.

3. What’s your usual bedtime?
Midnight.

4. Are you lazy?
Good Lord, yes.

5. Do you miss anyone right now?
These days I miss my sister, who died in 1971.  She should be here sharing the worries about our mother....and I miss my cousins, who were such a great support about her while they were alive.

6. How would you describe your fashion sense?
Nonexistent.

7. What are your nicknames?
Other than Mom and Grandma, I don't have a nickname.

8. Are you a patient person?
It depends.  I can be, but often am not.

9. Are you tight-fisted or frivolous?
Again, it depends.  I can put off getting hearing aids for years because of the cost, but buy books like "Goats of Anarchy" at the drop of a hat.

10. What magazines do you read?
I've never been a magazine reader, unless it's something I pick up at the doctor's office.

11. Are you stubborn?"
Not overly so.

12. When is your birthday?
February 17

13. What book are you currently reading?
"Tupelo," by my friend Alec Clayton

14. What phone do you have?
iPhone 7.  I only just realized that they didn't build a plug for headphones into it.  What's up with that???

15. Do you have any pets?
Two rescue dogs.  Lizzie is a shaggy terrier mix and Polly is the Chihuahua mix that rules the house. 
 

16. Do you have siblings?
I had a sister 4-1/2 years younger, but she was murdered by her partner in 1971.

17. Any children or grandchildren?
We raised five children and buried two.  We have two granddaughters, age 9 and 5

18. What do you order at Starbucks?
I am not a Starbucks customer.  I much prefer Peets.

19. What did you do for your last birthday?
Walt took me out for dinner and the next day we had lunch at Atria, the facility where my mother is, with son Ned.  Birthdays mean nothing to my mother, who has dementia, any more.

20. What’s your occupation?
Part-time theater critic, full time retired.

21. Do you live in the country or the city?
It's a small-ish city, about 65,000, with adjacent country, just a mile or so outside the city limits.