A Quandary

My quandary is one that will make most of you roll your eyes, especially Jeri, who is all about the beauty of silence and a gadget-less life, and Walt, who has to live with me.

When I moved into my first apartment in 1962, it was the first time I'd ever lived alone. I turned to the television to keep me company. It didn't matter what the show was; I chose the one that most appealed to me, however little (like Popeye cartoons, for example) and kept it on in the background. It may have been that I didn't ever watch it, but I liked the background noise.

Some people turn to radio or their personal collection of music, but somehow if I have music on, it's because there is music I want to listen to, so I listen to it. I don't just have it on in the background. Background music makes me nervous for some reason.

But I can have TV on in the background and it is company.

It's also my clock. Weekends are difficult because there is no set routine, but Monday to Friday it has been: The Today Show, Regis and Kelly (before Regis reteired), The Today Show again, marathons of Criminal Minds, NCIS, SVU, or something else like that to 4 p.m. when I may or may not turn on Chris Matthews, then Keith Olbermann, then Rachel Maddow (for 30 minutes), then Jeopardy, and then the evening shows, which end at 11 p.m. with The Daily Show. I go to sleep to The Golden Girls, and wake up to the local news before The Today Show starts it all over again.

If I want to know what time it is, I don't need a watch. I just need to see which show is playing to get a general idea.

I've watched The Today Show since Dave Garroway wrestled with J. Fred Muggs. I have been through Barbara Walters, Jane Pauley, Deborah Norville (never liked her as co-anchor), Katie Couric, Meredith Vierra and now Ann Curry. I missed some of the earlier "Today Show girls." I remember watching Hugh Downs, Frank McGee, Tom Brokaw, Bryant Gumble, and Matt Lauer.

Regis Philbin was my guilty secret. I actually enjoyed Regis and Kelly, more since Kelly Rippa joined him (I never did like Kathie Lee. Still don't and am glad that hour of The Today Show is not shown here.). Philbin is a marvel. He is famous for being famous. The things he does not know astound me, though he's pretty up on most things show biz.

While I like Ann Curry, I don't like her as forever co-anchor. I don't like the 3rd hour of The Today Show, and since Regis left, I find Kelly Rippa's fawning over men annoying and I'm not enjoying that show any more.

The cable networks have changed their programming too and it's harder to find marathons of Criminal Minds or NCIS. I can't take House marathons. I start not liking him, and I don't want to do that because I love Greg House.

So here I am with my nice predictable schedule all discombobulated.

This week I have taken to watching OnDemand marathons. They don't work as a "clock" for me, but it makes white noise, or, if I want to zero in on the plot, something to watch. I'm starting with a Dexter marathon. For those who have never watched Dexter, he's a sociopathic serial killer. But a nice sociopathic serial killer. He's good to his sister and his kids and probably little puppies. He works as a blood spatter analyst for the Miami Police Department and only kills bad people, but enjoys chopping them into pieces. If they are really bad people he lets them experience the pain of being cut into pieces. The lucky ones get killed first, chopped later. (This is the show Ned recommended his mother watch, by the way.) I guess I can't really call that "white noise," more "red noise"!!

When I finally get caught up on Dexter (which leaves OnDemand on 1/31, so I have to work fast), there are tons of other shows to catch up on. Maybe by the time I've worked through all of those, I will have figured out a regular schedule again.

I'm really pathetic, ya know?