Here are some letters I won't send, but which I wrote mentally over Fathers Day.
Thank you for cooling breezes today. The air is warm, sitting on the patio at Sudwerks with Ned and Walt, but it was the cooling breezes that made it delightful to sit there and munch sausages and crab cakes and drink beer.
Cool and happy,
Dear Father at the nearby table,
I'm sorry for not shooing away the bird that flew down to help himself to your food when you got up to take your son to the bathroom. I didn't notice you leaving and assumed that you had finished your lunch. I suppose I should have told you that a bird had perched on your hamburger before you asked to have it wrapped up to take home.
I watched you pace up and down on the patio, trying to find a place to have a cigarette. I wanted to take your picture, but was too embarrassed to be blatant, so this was all I got.
You had an earring in one ear and gold chains around your neck. You had a black striped shirt, short tan pants, and black striped stockings underneath. You wore tall boots with a wide cuff at the top and there was something red stuck in your belt. Is today Pirate Day? I wondered if, when the water directed you to the smoking area, you answered "aye, matey!"
It was a delight to have you serve us today. You had a bright smile, a sunny disposition and were efficient, but not hovering. I love it when servers are like you!
It was nice to spend time with you, and I apologize for not having enough money to pay for half the bill, though you didn't ask me to. I owe you a bit more money. I'm not sure I "enjoyed" our discussion of current events...it's all so depressing. But talking TV was much more fun.
I realized when we got home that your "mom" is coming home tomorrow. I'm going to miss you, little puppy. You really fit back in here well and I know Polly is going to be sad to see her playmate leave again.
Crazy Dog lady
Dear Regis and Kelly,
Finally you win the daytime Emmy you have been complaining that you never win--and neither of you is there to pick it up?
Disappointed in Davis
Thank you for letting me share your couch when I couldn't fall asleep in the recliner. Do I need to apologize for making you sleep under the chair next to the couch?
The Top Dog