Computers Make Me Want To Cry

There is a problem with being on the Internet as long as I have. The problem is that people think you understand how it works. Other people move forward with new technology; I'm the one dragging my feet, even though it seems like I know a lot about what I'm doing.

I know how to find stuff on the Internet. I know how to work the programs I use all the time, but I hate to upgrade because I'm afraid I won't be able to figure out the changes. I know how to design and post a web page because I do it all the time, but I'm still using essentially the same program I've been using since about 2003. But ask me to do anything with the inner workings of my computer and you might as well be speaking Esperanto.

When I was in Australia, it amazed me watching Peggy work with the mechanics of her computer. I paid someone to install more memory in my computer. It took about 5 minutes (or less) and he charged me his hourly rate, $40 (actually, I think he gave me a break on the price, the "idiot special"). I actually don't think it's working right, but I don't know how to tell and am too embarrassed to admit that to him.

One problem with not messing around with the workings of my computer is that as things advance, I haven't done the things that "everyone" was doing 10 years ago, so I haven't developed an advancing set of skills. When someone starts talking tech to me, I hear two trains leaving two stations and having to figure out what time they'll pass each other if one stops to pick up corn along the way. In other words, I zone out. It's like starting with 2+2 and trying to do advanced calculus without even learning the multiplication table.

So I'm in a terrible position right now. The internet "went out" on Sunday. I say "went out" because I don't know that it actually went out. It showed I was connected but I couldn't get anything. No e-mail, no web pages. Fortunately, I had posted my journal entry early that day.

I called our local provider and of course didn't expect to find anybody manning the machines at 9 p.m. on Sunday, but I recognized the voice on the recording as someone I had served on a provider board with, so I sent him a text message asking if there was a problem with the provider. He sent back a message that said "who is this?" I replied with an apology and an ID. He just said "OK...bye." So much for help. Or even an answer.

I woke up at 4 a.m. Monday morning and couldn't go back to sleep, so I tried the internet again and it was still "out." When I got up at 7, it was back. Crisis averted.

Only it was only "back" for about an hour and a half. All of a sudden it stopped working again. Monday was the day I had that PhotoShop seminar, so I was gone all day and when I got home, I had internet again. Someone had called from Omsoft and said that things looked "fine" on my computer.

And, in fact, things were "fine" until mid-day today. Then it was the same thing. Things just stopped working. I called Omsoft again and the guy on the phone suggested I unplug the router and modem. I did. (That much I could do) When I plugged them back in again, things began working again. For about half an hour.

I called Omsoft again, the rep checked with the phone company and said that the phone company would have to come and check the phone. On FRIDAY. This is Tuesday. I wailed. He suggested I unplug the router and plug the internet connection directly into the modem. Would you believe I don't know exactly how to do that? I don't know which plug goes to which?

But in the process, I found a loose connection and I plugged it in tighter. It worked. Internet back. For about 10 minutes. Anything I try seems to work very briefly, sometimes only seconds, before going back to no connection again, although everything shows that I am connected.

Now there is no internet, no e-mail, unplugging doesn't work. I'm too embarrassed to let the Omsoft guy know I don't know what I'm doing. All I can do now is wait for the phone company to come--on FRIDAY. And the phone company only looks at the phone. It doesn't know a thing about the internet connection. And if they find no problem with the phone, it will be MONDAY before I can get anybody at Omsoft again.

When I first got connected with this provider, back in the 1990s, there was only one tech guy working. He was about my age and he understood People Like Me. I loved that guy. He never put me down, was always willing to help and even gave me his cell phone number if I needed help. Things have changed as the company has expanded. We've gone from "I'll be there in an hour" to "I dunno...I guess you could try unplugging it" and leaving me with no internet connection for nearly a week. If it can be repaired by then.

In the meantime everywhere I go there are dogs. Seven dogs are becoming claustrophobic. I just want to sit somewhere sometime without a dog in my lap. I took a shower this morning, locking the dogs downstairs and when I got out of the bathroom, Polly was there, very proud of herself for having gotten through the barricade. I locked myself in the bedroom to get dressed and she whined the whole time I was in there, while Shiloh whined on the stairs, unable to get pat the barricade.

Ned's friend Jessica came today to pick up Max and take him for a "field trip." The commotion at the door is so horrible when someone tries to come in that I don't know why anybody would ever consider visiting us (I don't even want to THINK about the phone guys showing up).

I am waiting for the answers to several questions on several web sites, which I can't get because I can't get connected. I need to send a message to a friend of Peggy's in Australia, which I can't do because I can't get to e-mail.

Right now I just want to put my head down and cry long and hard. But I have to copy this entry to a flash drive and head to Mishka's Cafe so I can post it.

The only saving grace, albeit very minor, is that Cousins Day is Thursday. At least I'll be away from the computer for 2 days and won't have to feel frustrated.