Saturday, December 8, 2007


I was driving home from the store today and a commercial came on. It was for replacing your iron water pipes with copper pipes. It promised that you would have a higher water pressure and cleaner running water. To encourage you to use their service, they were providing a "lifetime warrantee."

Now...copper pipes. What is a "lifetime warrantee"? Is that the lifetime of the person who has them installed (in which case if he sells the house, is the warrantee still in effect until he dies?) Is it the lifetime of the house? Is it the lifetime of the business? Is it the lifetime of the salesman? I don't understand what is meant by "lifetime" when you are referring to something that is installed in your house.

But then commercials boggle my mind anyway. How about the KFC commercial, which may run right after a news story on obesity, where Dad has come home with "dinner" for the family: Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits, a huge bucket of Pepsi and a chocolate cake!

Or the pizza commercials where "dinner" is an extra large pizza with a crust stuffed with cheese, breadsticks, and cinnamon twists for dessert.

And they wonder why Americans are obese.

There's a jewelry store commercial on the radio that I just love. It used to talk about giving credit for "emergencies" (gosh--I wish I had known where they were the last time I had my jewelry emergency!) and also touts the kind of diamonds and rubies that you should buy to complement your sweetie's "jewelry wardrobe." I've lived nearly 65 years and all this time I never realized I needed a jewelry wardrobe.

And thank God for Boniva, the osteoporosis medication. Poor Sally Field was able to reduce the four days a month she takes a pill down to only one day...and how relieved she is to have so much more time in her schedule. (She must have made a mint to allow herself to be associated with such a stupid commercial!)

Of course nothing quite beats the sexual commercials. The erectile dysfunction medications which allow you to be ready "when the time is right" and shows two people sitting in side-by-side bathtubs watching the sunset on the edge of a cliff. I'm imagining the whole process of getting into side-by-side tubs on top of a cliff. The crowds which gather. The dirt on your feet as you get in, or the mud it becomes when you get out. And the crowds which gather again. And god help you if suddenly "the time is right" when she's in one tub and you're in another. They are rather narrow tubs, as I recall.

Or the herpes commercials where she smiles broadly and says "I have herpes," and he looks at her lovingly and says "...and I don't." Then they go on to talk about the wonderful medication that allows her to have a sexually transmitted disease that doesn't affect their sex life. Of course the word "sex" is never mentioned, but the happy couple waltz off in symptom-free bliss, grinning at the camera.

Well, we now have two foster puppies. They delivered a little 1 lb chihuahua to me today. She's 5 weeks old and her biggest siblings are 5 lbs, so the size discrepancy is pretty big and they decided to separate her out to prevent her older siblings from beating up on her.

She also came unnamed, and given her size, and the fact that she fits into a coffee cup, I decided to call her "Half Pint."

She's a lot more noisy than Daisy is, at least so far. I have set her up in an enclosed cage with a heating pad under it and a teddy bear inside since she is shivering pretty badly (I know chihuahuas do that, but I wanted to make sure that she had the opportunity to get warm...the heating pad goes under one half of the cage and she can sleep at either side.

I also bought some puppy formula, She actually eats solid foods, but given how small she is, I want to help build her up a bit, so am going to give her some formula mixed with her puppy food.

It's going to be interesting to see how tonight is going to go, since she seems to complain nonstop, unlike Daisy, who cries for a couple of minutes and then settles right down to sleep through the night. I may be sleeping sitting up in the recliner all night!


(Suddenly Daisy looks so huge!)

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