The Usual Suspects

Martha didn't want a funeral or a memorial service, so though this had the appearance of a memorial service, it was really a celebration...and a party.

Martha was beloved by so many people and once again we all gathered in a church to remember our friend, who, while she didn't die too soon (at 92), certainly has left a hole in the Davis community.

Once again, this was a chance to see "the usual suspects," people we haven't seen since...well, since the last one of these events...and these events are coming too fast these days, with no indication that they are going to stop anytime soon (after the formal part of today was finished, we learned that another guy we know had died Friday.  I hadn't seen him in a few years and had no idea he was as sick as he was).

Despite not wanting a memorial service, I think Martha might have liked this event.  Her children spoke, and two of her fellow performers spoke.  They ran two videos of her singing, which left us all teary-eyed.  Low key and lovely event, with grey skies and rain outside, depicting how we were all feeling at having to say goodbye to another friend.

Ironically, one of the 3 shows I reviewed this weekend was called "Shadow Box," the story of three dying people living in a Hospice-like facility, each in his or her own cottage, waiting for death.  

Joe is joined by his wife and son.  The son doesn't know his father is dying and his wife is in such profound denial that she won't enter the cottage because then she would have to acknowledge that this is the end.

Brian lives with his lover Mark, who is his caregiver.  Brian's former wife shows up, all glitz and glam and full of laughs and happy memories.  Mark feels marginalized until the wife sees tangible proof of Brian's disease and Mark gives her a no holds barred picture of the life of a caregiver.

Felicity is in a wheelchair, having had several operations and finally declared terminal.  She has dementia and her daughter is her caregiver.  She goes in and out of reality and some of her conversations with her daughter are entirely too familiar.

It's a powerful and moving play, but it gets us to think about life, to think about what is important in life and to live life to the fullest, as Martha did.

Today at Logos

This may have been the slowest day I have ever had at Logos.  When I got there, Sandy had had only 4 customers.  But she's back (yay!) and we spent 45 minutes chatting about her vacation, elephants, and politics (the elephant kind).  We decided that the best thing about her month-long vacation was being away from most of the political stuff.

She finally started to leave and the FIRST customer since I'd arrived came in.  I normally take 4 pages of notes for this entry (sometimes 5) but I only filled 2-1/2 today.

The the first guy bought a copy of a science fiction book called "2315"  I asked him if this was the new 1984.  He did give me a (very small) smile.

A woman came in looking for books for children in Spanish, but didn't find what she was looking for.  She did buy a cute toddler-type book called "I'm the big sister."

It was 3:30 when my friend came in.  This is notable for a couple of things.  One is that he usually doesn't come until after 4 (sometimes not until 5), but most importantly because he was onhy the third customer I'd recorded!  He came in to pick up te books on Japan that he had me set aside for him last week.  It's 7 books of a 12-book set and he's hoping Peter can find volues 8-12.

It was raining pretty good when he left, but he came prepared with a water-proof bag to put his new books into.

Two women came in.  I am guessing a mom and her adult daughter.  The daughter was looking for books on California history and bought two of them, one by my friend Ruth Chambers, who wrote "The Weight of Gold: 1849 Gold Rush, California."  First time I've sold a book by someone I know (except for the time my friend bought MY book!)

A couple were looking f or books in Spanish.  He looked an awful lot like Javier Bardem.  He spoke perfect, unaccented English, but she spoke no English and was happy to find a Spanish novel.  He said she was tired of having nothing to read.

A handsome jock bought a copy of one of those showy books (fancy binding) of "Tale of Two Cities."

Eliza passed by the bargain books, a hooded raincoat covering her multi layers of clothes.  He baby was still asleep on her chest.  But she didn't come in.

After she left, I brought one of the bargain books carts inside because I was afraid the books would get wet.

An older woman with white curly hair, dressed in a hooded blue raincoat with purple crocs.  She walks with a walking stick and when she was in the book aisle right opposite my desk, she let out a huge fart.  I'm sure she was mortified, so I pretended I didn't notice.

And that was about it.  Susan relieved me early (5:30) so I could get home before Char and Dana got there.  Then as it turned out they got bogged down in rush hour traffic and rain and we were afraid they would be late, so we decided to meet them at the theater.  We were afraid they would miss the start of the show, and I had to be there for the start of the show, so Walt dropped me off, the plan to go park the car, return to the theater, get the 3 tickets for himself, Char and Dana and then meet me inside, whenever they got there.  He felt he would miss a bit of the show.  But by the tme he came to get tickets, he was talking on the phone to Char and they were there (I swear they must have flown) so they didn't miss the overture after all.

And such a fun show.  I'm so glad I had the chance to see it.  It will be a fun review to write.

The Problem with My Mother

Nancy Reagan rejoined her Ronnie this week.  

We haven't seen much of Mrs. Reagan in recent years, but photos of her like the one at the right are how I will think of her at the end of her life.  She seemed very frail, there are bruises on her legs, when she walked she was bent over, walked slowly and leaned heavily on the arm of the person walking with her.

But then that was not expected.  All things considered, she was doing well for a woman of 92.

Recently I found a video on Facebook that I can't find again, but it was an old woman, bedridden, but smiling at the camera and, in a quavery voice, singing one of her favorite old songs.  The person who posted the video wanted to show everyone how much fun her 90 year old mother was having singing one of her favorite old songs. Not only was she frail, bedridden and with a quavery voice, but her face looked something like this.

She was toothless and she had way more wrinkles than this woman does.  She was 90 and doing well.  And the video made me smile because she was so happy to be singing her song.

I told my mother that her problem is that she looks and acts so well, nobody believes she is 97 years old!  97! Five years older than Nancy Reagan, 7 years older than the singing old woman.  But she stands straight, has all of her teeth, walks without assistance.  Yes, she has lines on her face, but not all that many.

And that's her problem.  I expect her to act the way she looks even though I know she is almost 100 and I probably should make more allowances for her than I do.

My visit with her on Tuesday was brief, 30 min vs. the hour I usually spend, because I as on my way to the hospital to work.  But it was one of her "distracted" days.  She really didn't seem interested in anything and even the things she says all the time were kind of like playing a record, not with any feeling behind them.  Again she asks who those cute little girls are in the picture on her cabinet.  She never, ever remembers who they are. I tried to let her know "what I've been doing that's exciting," which she wants to know every time but she never listened, just looked out the window or at her fingernails and asked me what I've been doing that's exciting.  She's always had perfectly manicured nails and Tuesday she had taken off some of the polish on some of her nails and just kept looking at them and picking at them and complaining that she had no nail polish (which she does...she often puts polish on her nails while we talk).  Even news of Jeri's impending visit didn't seem to excite her much.  She just sighed and said "well, it will be nice to see the kids..."  Usually Jeri's impending visits are the one things that makes her sparkle.

But she's 97 and she's in surprisingly good condition for someone who's 97.  I need to keep remembering that.

---

I fell asleep early last night and later staggered off to the living room, as I always do.  I woke up a little before 3 a.m., as I do every night and came out to the family room to climb into the recliner again, as I do every night, but Lizzie was in it.

Knowing how miserable she is and how much difficulty she must have had getting into the chair, I didn't have the heart to move her.  So I'm finishing this entry and then am going back to the couch to see if I can go back to sleep without Frasier reruns to put me to sleep.

Comedy of Errors

The Book of Mormon opens in Sacramento tonight, through the California Music Theater (CMT).  CMT shows are the touring Broadway shows and the best Sacramento has to offer each season. It is CMT that keeps me reviewing because there is always a "really good" show coming up that I want to see for free.  Wicked, Lion King and some others.  I'll sit through a lot of things I'm not interested in for the chance to see the "big" shows for free.

Book of Mormon is one of the shows I've been waiting for, one of the perks of being a critic.  Walt gave me tickets to the show in San Francisco for Christmas a year or two ago and it was FABulous, but it also cost an arm and a leg.  The chance to see it from great seats for free was going to be wonderful.

When I mentioned it, Char said she and her daughter would like to come and see it and didn't mind driving all that way (or paying that much).  It's cheaper here than it was in San Francisco, but it's still ridiculously expensive.

I contacted my friend, the PR guy in Sacramento when I first learned that the show was going to be on the schedule for the next season.  I asked him if I could make arrangements to buy two tickets next to my own tickets and he said he would take care of it.

We had several back and forth about it, how to do it, etc.  Finally a couple of months ago, he confirmed that yes, he had arranged for the tickets to be next to mine.  

CMT shows traditionally open on Tuesday and so I mentioned seeing Char and Dana on Tuesday and she said she had Wednesday on her calendar for months.  I apologized and said that no, Tuesday was the opening day.  Dana had a conflict but said she'd get out of it.

Later, I mentioned the mix-up to Walt and he assured me that yes, the opening date was Wednesday.  I'd forgotten that sometimes for the big shows which have a longer run, they start a week earlier and so have an extra half week.

I wrote back to Char and Dana and apologized for screwing things up.

Then yesterday, I got a mailing to the critics of the Sacramento News and Review, the Sacramento paper I review for.  It was a copy of a note from the PR guy about reviewer tickets:

Pretty crazy around here lately. You know we didn’t do a standard release about The Book of Mormon because there weren’t tickets available. Here’s a release that we sent a week or so ago about the pre-show lottery each night.

Review night for Mormon is Thursday—but I didn’t think you guys were going to do a review?

They weren't giving the usual number of reviewer tickets because the show was sold out and they didn't need a review.  AND, review night was Thursday, not Wednesday!

I sent another note to Char and Dana letting them know that the show was not Wednesday, but Thursday.

This is getting funny, Dana wrote.  But it looked like the new date (third in a day) would be OK for the two of them.

Then I wrote to the PR guy to verify that yes, I do have reviewer tickets and yes, I do have tickets for Char and Dana.

Yes, your tickets are for Thursday. Tomorrow (Wednesday) is, in fact, the first performance. But sometimes with blockbuster shows like this (Wicked, and I believe Jersey Boys), the show chooses to have press night be on the second night, just in case there are glitches (which there never are!). So you're absolutely correct that your 4 tickets (2 comp and 2 paid) are for Thursday, March 10, at 8:00 PM.

I'm sorry for the confusion--I should have explained that better in my initial email.

See you on Thursday!

Whew!  I'm glad we didn't show up at the theater tonight, thinking our tickets were for opening night, as usual.

Now I feel guilty for the critics who can't get tickets because the show is sold out!  But I'm so excited to see it again!

Cogito ergo Sum

News from New Zealand: 

New Zealand has just set a great example to the world by recognizing what animal lovers have known forever- that our furry friends are as sentient as we are, and (obviously, dur) they have feelings just like we do. It’s a theme we have covered time and again here at True Activist, but this landmark ruling by NZ is the first time this shift in perception and policy has been extended to all animals, not just chimpanzees, orangutans, or dolphins.

The Animal Welfare Amendment Bill, passed last month, aims to make it easier to prosecute people in animal cruelty cases, as well as banning animal testing and research.

Animal rights activists have celebrated the decision. “To say that animals are sentient is to state explicitly that they can experience both positive and negative emotions, including pain and distress,” said Dr Virginia Williams, chair of the National Animal Ethics Advisory Committee. “The explicitness is what is new and marks another step along the animal welfare journey.”

The sentient-ness of animals has been an interest of mine ever since I read that Alec Ramsey and The Black could communicate on a non-verbal level in "The Black Stallion" back in grammar school.

In Catholic school we were always taught that only humans could really think and feel.  We were the higher species because we could use tools.  But ever since Jane Goodall moved in with the chimps, we have learned that not only chimps but lots of other animals use tools.  No one watching movies of Goodall with her chimps or Dian Fosse with the mountain gorillas could deny that these were sentient beings.

I started following the tales of Koko the gorilla, originally the project of then-Stanford PhD candidate Penny Patterson in 1972.  It was to be the first ever project to study linguistic capabilities of gorillas.  Koko's story is incredible, her ability to learn sign language and to begin to communicate with humans, not only displaying, but expressing her feelings.  There is nothing sweeter than her desire for and her delight in getting a kitten she named "All Ball."  

The history of Koko is nothing short of amazing and she has made friends with countless celebrities in her life, including Robin Williams, who made her smile for the first time since the death of her partner, Michael, 6 months prior to her meeting Williams.  When the news of Williams arrived and Koko understood that he was gone, Koko cried.

It's no secret here of my love for and fascination with elephants and learning all about them.  I am presently reading "Elephant Memories, Thirteen years in the life of an Elephant Family" by Cynthia J. Moss.  It's not the first book about elephants I have read, nor will it be the last.  Moss's observations of elephants in Amboseli Natural Park leave no doubt about the intelligence of these animals, their ability to form close family connections, their feelings of joy and sadness.

And the latest book I read is called "Alex the Parrot" and details the 30+ relationship between an African grey parrot and the scientist, Dr. Irene Pepperberg, who chose to work with him  At the time of his death, Alex not only had a speaking knowledge of more than 100 words, but was able to express himself, to make up his own words for things (would not say "apple," for example because it tasted to him like a combination of a banana and a cherry, so he called it a "banerry").  He was labeled "the smartest bird in the world" and at the time of his death, there were obituaries world-wide, including a full page in the New York Times.

Reading the extraordinary reports such as those I mention here, but just looking at my dogs, who know when I am going to leave the house while I am still sitting at my computer typing shows that, really, there is no such thing as a "dumb animal."

And then I watch Republican television debates and wonder.....

But What About LOGOS?

Oops.  Forgot my Logos report for last week...and it was a busy week too.  The joint was jumping when I arrived.  Mike was ringing up one customer and another, in a wheel chair was lined up to buy a Currier and Ives book.  I wish I knew why Mike insists on calling me "Mrs. Sykes."  But I won't be able to pursue that because Sandy will be back and it will be so good to see her again, though Mike is a nice, affable guy.

The Pete Seeger doppelganger was there when Mike left and he bought a nature book on rivers.

Another guy bought a book on utilitarianism and a book of letters.

A guy asked the price of a very big, thick, heavy book on the history of modern art and as pleased to learn it was only $8 (so he bought it)

The train rider from the last two weeks I worked raced in and found another book to read, again threw money at me and raced out the door to catch his train.  I didn't even catch the name of the book.

A couple bought a book called "Memory Wall: Stories," which I assumed was stories taken from people visiting the Vietnam memorial, but I discovered that this is by the author of "All the Light We Cannot See" (one of our upcoming book club books).  Amazon describes it as "Anthony Doerr's new stories are about memory, the source of meaning and coherence in our lives, the fragile thread that connects us to ourselves and to others. Every hour, says Doerr, all over the globe, an infinite number of memories disappear. Yet at the same time children, surveying territory that is entirely new to them, push back the darkness, form fresh memories, and remake the world."

I checked the clock and I had only been there 30 minutes and had made 7 sales in that time.  Surely a record.

I guy who reminded me of one of our Piñata kids came in and asked if the noise of the kids outside bothered me.  I told him I hadn't even noticed.  He bought 2 Faulkners.

A guy with a giant rolled up rainbow umbrella and a plaid backpack in.  He wore the kind of rumpled, oversized pants my colleague often wears.  He browed around for a very long time, but then left without buying anything.

"Eliza" came in, as usual in her multi-layered outfit, with her baby, who must be about 6 months old now, asleep in a front pack.  She was drinking coffee, didn't stay long, didn't buy anything, and left early.

3 girls who looked like they might be in high school came in together, each wearing what were obviously very heavy back packs.  One had a shirt with a peace sign on it.  They looked around for less than a minute before leaving.

A guy bought two books by Saul Bellow.  His purchase was $10.31 and because he was rummaging in his pockets after handing me $20, I asked if he had 31 cents, which he did not.  As I was making his change, I told him my McDonald's story (about buying something that cost $2.99 and having the person, when I handed her $3, ask me if I had 99 cents).

There was a tall grey haired man with a nice grey beard was standing at the Old Books section, bouncing his head in time to the music coming over the overhead speaker.  He wore a khaki jacket and a messenger bag slung over one shoulder.  His rumpled jeans were too long and dragged on the ground.  He had an odd gait, leaning back with his hands in his belt looks that gave him a "swagger."  He didn't buy anything, though.

The Antiquarian came in and left right away because the grey haired man was at the old books shelf, but he came back later and bought a book, then showed me his latest "treasure," a heart-shaped crystal pendant with a human hair rolled up inside.  He was very proud of it and pulled it out of a little velvet bag in his pocket.

A balding guy came in with a History of the United States from the bargain books outside and said he "couldn't pass this up."

A guy was looking for "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda (I looked that up) but checked biographies, self-realization, and religion and finally said "Well, we gave it a try..." and left.

My friend came in at 4.  He looked around for a long time and had about decided that there was nothing for him this time, when suddenly he showed up with a thick stack of a 7-volume set of books on Japan.  He's a real Japan-o-phile.  He remembered seeing this set in a different edition elsewhere, so he asked if I could hold the books for him for a day while I checked out whether he wanted it or not.  But in order to put it on hold for him, I needed to get his last name, so now I know both his first and last name.  And, thanks to the internet, I had confirmation about where he works and what he does.  We have more in common than I realized.

A guy came in looking for a book by Nazar Afisi ("Reading Lolita in Tehran.") I told him I didn't know if we had it, but mentioned that I had just seen her that week on "Finding Your Roots," a program he had seen too.  We both are apparently big fans of the show.  He was sorry not to find her book, but did pick up a coffee table book on British landscapes and his wife bought a book about activities for families in California.

A woman came in looking for a specific biography, which she did not find, but we talked about Logos and Doctors without Borders and she mentioned president Al-Asad in Syria.  She mentioned that he had been a doctor but had obviously forgotten his "hypocritical oath."  I thought that was funny.  She ended up buying a book called "The Spiral Staircase" which had the subtitle of "My climb out of darkness" and is apparently the story of a young woman's spiritual journey following 17 unhappy years as a nun living in a convent. I'm always fascinated by real life nun stories.

(I love being able to look up information on books that intrigue me on Amazon after I get home from work!)

A mom came into the store while her young son stood out on the sidewalk pounding on the window.  Fortunately she did not stay long.

Susan said we made $277 for the day, which is a respectable amount on a day when rain is threatening.

Sunday Stealing

 Stolen from: Love me some surveys

Is your phone right next to you, or at least close by?
My land line is at my elbow. I don't know where my cell phone is right now.

What windows or tabs are open on your computer right now?
MailWasher Pro, Thunderburd mail, WordPerfect, Front Page and Firefox, with tabs:  Google Mail, yesterday's Funny the World, Web Hosting site, Wikipedia, Facebook and Sunday Stealing.

Is your phone a touch screen?  Yes

Who is the last person to call you?  daughter Jeri

What was the last movie you watched?
I think it was Spotlight, which I rented before the Oscars.

What are you doing tomorrow?
What do I do every weekend?  I'm reviewing a show.

Are you in a good mood?
Pretty good.  It's raining.  That always makes me happy.

Do you think exes can remain friends?
Well, it's not like I have much experience in this regard, but I'm still friendly with my high school boyfriend (who has been a Jesuit since 1960), and a boyfriend I had, briefly, in college is godfather of one of our kids (his wife is the godmother), so I guess...yes.

Are you starting to realize anything?  I can't think of anything.

Do you follow rules or break them?  I'm pretty much a follower.

Are you currently looking forward to anything?  Jeri's visit later this month.

Could you go a day without eating?  Probably, but I wouldn't be happy.

How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?  I don't wear bracelets.

Do you scream stuff out the car window?  No.

Do you have reason to smile right now?  yes...thinking about the show I saw last night, which I am reviewing.

What do you do when you need to relax?  Flop in my recliner and turn on the TV.

What are you listening to right now?  PBS in the background.

What’s your greatest fear?  Becoming dependent on others for everything.

Do you have a best friend?  Yes.

Are you afraid of death?  No.  I'm just afraid of dying.

Do you open up to people easily?  Yes.

Has anyone upset you in the last week? The Republican candidates upset me every day.

What’s your favorite drink?  Cold water.

What are you craving?  Nothing at the moment.

How did you sleep last night? As well as I ever do.

Would you ever consider turning your house into a B&B?  Good lord, no!

What was the first thing you ate today? An English muffin.

Do you have anything more important you should be doing right now? Finishing my review!

Have you ever eaten tofu, and if so, did you enjoy it?  Yes, and it depends.  Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

What was the last type of meat you ate? I had a salami sandwich yesterday.

What color is your toothpaste? White with blue stripes.

Have you taken any medication today?  Yes.

Have you ever inhaled helium?  Yes

Have you set an alarm today?  No.

Do you keep up-to-date with current news and events?  Unfortunately, yes.

Have you asked someone for advice today?  No.

What color is your shampoo?  White.

Have you watched more than an hour of TV today?  Bwahahaha.  Uh...I think so.

Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go Garage Sale shopping? Absolutely never!