Got dressed in my "missing Paul" uniform this morning.
Lots of us have FTS shirts, which Paul's best friend Kag designed and gave to everyone on Christmas in 1999. It stands for "f*ck this sh*t" which was what Paul once told his wife he'd like to be his epitaph. We knew we couldn't print that anywhere, but my friend Olivia suggested "FTS" and it has been a useful abbreviation for 19 years now. I hope somewhere Paul knows that.
You probably can't see the earring, so I took a close up.
Paul and I had a joke going about happy faces, giving each other gifts with smiley faces on them. I think it started with a dumb necklace he gave me as a joke one gift-giving occasion and has included things like a HUGE candle (basketball size) and the famous "Happy," who went with us to meet Gasper last weekend. I'm so happy I remembered to find the earrings this year! I bought them several years ago and think of them usually a week or so after Paul's anniversary.
I went to Atria for lunch. Nothings works better than a lunch at the funny farm to cheer one up. She woke up a little more clear-headed than last time, but wandered around wearing only her pajama tops for about half an hour, trying to straighten out a necklace n her dresser for literally 30 minutes, butt flapping in the breeze. I finally got her dressed and then to the dining room. If dementia has ever been something she could hide, it no longer is. I don't know if the woman who eventually joined us, Betty (someone I had not met before), has dementia or not, but I suspect she does. My mother asked many times if this were lunch and just lots of stuff like that. I did a lot of explaining what we were doing today (flowers to the cemetery), who Paul was, etc. Nothing new. Just the new normal, with a bit more nudity involved this time.
When I got home, I tried to set up Skype on my iPad, but Davis Community Network has two addresses, the original one @dcn.davis.ca.us and a shortened version adopted several years later @dcn.org. They are essentially the same address, but for some reason I am on iTunes with the short address and Apple with the long address and Apple won't recognize my password and there is no way I have figured out how to change it. When I have time I'll try to get Apple customer service (bwahahahah...such an optimist) and see.
But because I could not get Skype installed, I was not able to have a Skype conversation with Caroline and Jane, though we were able to facetime, which is nearly as well. Caroline entertained me with tales of her week castrating an obstreperous horse and trying to feed frozen rats to a snake, Jane talked about once babysitting for a snake, to the horror of her dinner guests, and I shared the story of our orphaned rats whom I had bottle-fed and eventually donated to the local pet store fooling myself that they would be sold as pets, while pretty certain they would end up a someone's lunch.
In the afternoon we went to the cemetery and discovered that Jessica had gotten there first. She always brings mayonnaise to the cemetery on 4/20 because Paul hated mayonnaise so much and she's still angry with him for dying.
We left flowers and then Walt went wandering around "the neighborhood" while I sat on a new bench engraved "the gang's all here" and looked for familiar names. It seems that each time we come to lay flowers on the grave, we find new familiar names joining the neighborhood.
Walt and I have a plot somewhat close to this one for Paul and David, so one of these days we will be members of the neighborhood too.
At night more sushi and then home to catch up on the shows that were recorded while we were out at dinner. Now a break for a month when it's time to commemorate Dave's 21st anniversary.