The Yuck List

My blog friend Jon, who claims to be a curmudgeon, decided to take my "100 Things I like" list and do his own, only he chose 100 things he didn't like (because he's a curmudgeon) and called it his "Yuck List." It seems to me that I tried to do something like that before, and couldn't make it to 100. Maybe I'm grumpier now, so I decided to try it.

So here is my own yuck list:

1. Farmville. It's not that I don't like it, it's just that it seems to have taken over Facebook.

2. Liver. Calf's liver, goose liver, chicken liver. All liver. Shudder.

3. Driving along side big semi-trucks on the freeway. I know they are going to tip over and crush me some day.

4. Big semi trucks who tailgate.

5. Big semi trucks who tailgate and honk their horns at me! Where am I supposed to go, idiot??

6. Birthers. Get a life, people. He won--get over it.

7. Fred Phelps and his family, the Westboro Baptist Church, who think that God is punishing everybody for not killing gay people.

8. Hypocrisy. Yeah, George Rekers, like you.

9. The "Real Housewives " of any city.

10. Walking into the bathroom in the middle of the night and finding a big ol' cockroach guarding the toilet.

11. Walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night in my bare feet and stepping in a puddle of dog pee. Fortunately that hasn't happened in a very long time.

12. Anybody who would torture an animal, which includes zoos which don't give them enough room to roam.

13. Mac computers. I know all you Mac people think they are the best thing since sliced bread, but I've just been a PC person for too long.

14. Insomnia

15. Clutter. Don't laugh. I live in it. I can't seem to control it. But it doesn't mean I like it.

16. The guy who calls every six months or so, sounds terribly upbeat and happy and then hits me up for a contribution to his favorite charity. He makes my skin crawl (and I never contribute)

17. Airlines that have NO leg room for larger people (that is almost every airline)

18. People who think that everyone around them wants to hear their cell phone conversations so raise their voices while on the phone.

19. Drivers who pass you on the wrong side, going too fast, and then weave in and out of the cars in front of you. Do you really need to put everybody's life in danger just so you can arrive a few minutes earlier?

20. Motorcyclists who drive too fast and WAY too loud.

21. Those saggy pants that teen age boys like to wear, so that the cuffs are under their feet. Shudder. I hate them!

22. Heavy Metal (I'm not sure I even know how to identify heavy metal, but if it's loud and discordant, I won't like it)

23. Twitter. I occasionally tweet, I've tried to get into the Twitter community, but it just doesn't work for me.

24. Being the member of a board for anything. I've accepted over the years that I'm just not "board" material.

25. Martha Stewart. Anybody that perfect makes my skin crawl. (I particularly rolled my eyes a the episode where she not only knited the sweater, she also spun the yarn for the wool, and even sheared the sheep.)

26. People who insist that their religious beliefs are the only acceptable beliefs and try to insist that you believe them too.

27. Put-down humor. I know that Don Rickles is supposed to be a very sweet guy in real life, but I've never found him funny, nor do I find funny anybody who gets his/her kicks by making other people, who have paid to come to their show, uncomfortable. That includes comics whose every joke uses lots of curse words. I'm not a prude and use such words myself from time to time, but Jerry Seinfeld is a very funny comic and I've never heard a word come out of his mouth that makes anybody uncomfortable.

28. Snakes. I tried once to get over my aversion to snakes and held a pet snake that some friends had. It peed on me.

29. Math, especially story problems. I don't, frankly, CARE which train gets to Point A first.

30. Little yappy barking dogs. Unfortunately they are usually mine.

31. Vegemite. Australians are crazy. Trust me on this.

32. Dramatic pauses in shows like Biggest Loser, Dancing with the Stars , Top Chef, or any such show where they say "...and the. winner.... will be revealed after this commercial break."

33. The Says You web site. It could be so interesting, so active, so much fun, but it's just dull and rarely changes. I even offered to help with it once, an offer that went over like a lead balloon.

34. Shakespeare. Sorry. I know I'm a critic. I know I have to review Shakespearean plays all the time, but it doesn't mean I have to like them.

35. Mimosas. A complete waste of good champagne and good orange juice. I'd rather have a glass of champagne and a glass of orange juice.

36. Death. 'nuff said.

37. Dick Cheney. Who knew a man could smirk for 8 years?

38. Chris Matthews, when he says "Dick Cheeny--that's how it's pronounced." It doesn't make him sound smarter, it makes him sound holier-than-thou.

39. People who read S-Y-K-E-S and see S-K-I-E-S. I will answer to "Mrs. Skies" because more than half of the strangers who read my name read it that way, but I don't like it! (However, if a telemarketer calls and asks for Mrs. Skies, I tell them, very honestly, that there is nobody here by that name!)

40. The remodeled DeYoung museum in Golden Gate Park. I haven't been inside it yet, but my god what an eyesore from the outside!

41. Pope Benedict. I want to know who he had to pay, blackmail, or sleep with to be elected.

42. People who spit on the sidewalk.

43. Organizations which make me feel guilty for not giving $50 to their cause, or who e-mail me every week with a new reason why I need to donate. I donate now to my favorite causes, to the best of my ability and I hate getting a guilt trip because I don't want to save the spotted mosquito from extinction.

44. Temeratures above 90 degrees Fahrenheit.

45. Hot house roses that look gorgeous, but have no scent whatsoever. The whole point of having roses is to smell how wonderful they are.

46. The crown jewels. My life would be complete if I never again stood in line for an hour to see a few diamonds.

47. The new practice of ending programs 2 minutes past the hour, which prevents many DVRs from recording a program which starts on the hour. There seems to be no way on ComCast to override that, dammit.

48. Russell on Survivor. He may be the best game player but he's a fathead.

49. My ComCast remote, which routinely "sticks" when I'm doing a fast forward.

50. Making lists of things I don't like.

Well, that's enough of that. I discovered that when you concentrate on all the things you don't like, it puts you in a very bad mood, in contrast to making lists of things that you do like, which makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. I think 50 things I don't like is more than enough for Airy Persiflage!