Why We Never Have Guests

There are many reasons why we never have guests, my high degree of slobitude among them, but I think today really showed the main reason...the one that all the cleaning in the world can't overcome. For those who wonder why we never invite you over to dinner, watching the Video of the Day may give you a clue.

Valerie, the Polly trainer, arrived at 2 p.m. to work with Polly. As usual, she was beset upon by four dogs, while Itsy and Bitsy, who have learned about "barking" from the older dogs, just as Polly and Emmy learned about barking from Lizzie and Sheila, started barking like crazy.

Valerie asked if I would mind if she brought her dog, Heidi, in. Heidi had a doctor's appointment at 3 p.m. and she didn't want to leave her alone in the car. I invited the 7th dog in. Heidi is a lovely, calm, well mannered dog.

A definite contrast.

By the time we were in the family room, the puppies had emerged from their sleeping crate and were running around barking. The older dogs were leaping at Valerie, Polly was more interested than usual, but still hiding in my lap, which is where Emmy was as well.

While I dragged the big dogs outside and fought to keep them from coming back in again, Valerie locked the puppies in the feeding crate and they were not happy!

Lizzie started her usual leap-at-the-door business.

She does this every time Valerie comes, but usually stops pretty quickly. Today, with the smell of treats in the air and a strange dog in the house, she would. not. stop. and I finally had to close the blinds, leaving us in the dark, hoping to distract Lizzie (it didn't work).

Emmy usually sits in my lap quietly while Valerie is working with Polly, but there was this new dog in the house and she wanted to get at the dog, so I was holding her back, while the puppies continued to yelp over and over again.

Miraculously, Polly's focus seemed to be stronger than ever and she was able to tune out all of the chaos and concentrate on those treats that were coming at her.

When training was over, Valerie put Heidi through her paces. She can sit, down, high-five, die when shot, and cross her legs when asked to "be a lady."

We let the puppies out and Polly and I walked Valerie to the door. After she left, I let Sheila and Lizzie back in the house again. Immediately Valerie knocked on the door, setting EVERYBODY to barking. Three four-legged bodies and one two-legged body rushed the door. Valerie had left a toy behind (which Emmy had already found and was playing with in the family room). Valerie came in the house to get the toy and walked back to the door, dogs leaping at her all the while.

"You guys need some training," she said to them.

Gee. Ya think?