Whatever Suits

What is it with men's suits?

Watch The Tonight Show or The Daily Show or almost any other talk show where the male host gets up to greet the guest and then both the guest and the host sit down.

Host sits in host chair with suit coat unbuttoned and interacts with the audience or a guesr or whatever. Host then introduces the guest, stands up and buttons his jacket. Guest emerges, jacket buttoned. Both men shake hands. Both sit down and unbutton their jackets. If they have to get up for anything, they button again. Once they are seated they unbutton. I've gotten so I spend more time concentrating on the buttoning and unbuttoning of suit coats that I sometimes forget to pay attention to what the two men are doing.

Would it kill them to stand up for 10 seconds without buttoning the suit jacket?

This is just one of the many imponderables of life that comprise Bev's Odd Thoughts.

I have often wondered, for example, why those of us who live in California refer to states in the east (like Wyoming, Arizona, Montana) as the west. If a Californian is going to go somewhere to experience "the west," they'd better pack bathing suits, sun screen, and aloha shirts!

Have you ever...

Been pulled over?

Three times, that I remember. Twice it was for speeding, both times I managed to talk my way out of a ticket. I don’t speed any more. Last time I was pulled over it was for going too slow. Clearly I have problems with speed regulation!

Dyed your hair?

Back in the 1970s I tried putting a red rinse on my hair (I always wanted to be Maureen O’Hara). It just made my hair have a fake purplish tint to it and I didn’t do it again.

Pulled an all-nighter?

In college I remember staying up all night and taking a lot of No Doze. Didn't help at all and I felt awful in the morning. I’ve been up all night a few times since then, but not for study or work or anything noble. The last time I was up all night was the night Paul died.

Baked a cake?

You might say that, since I spent 8 years as a cake decorator! Yes, I have made many, many, many cakes in my day.

Fallen down in public?

Unfortunately, yes. The last time was in Rochester, New York, after a church service I attended with Steve. I slipped on a patch of ice and landed with a thud. People expressed concern and Steve, the sweet, gentle, helpful man waved them off and said "that’s OK–she has plenty of padding."

Been caught making out?

Not really. My father once was furious because my then-boyfriend had lipstick on his face when he brought me home. That’s as close as I’ve come to being "caught."

Taken a pregnancy test?

Yes, I used to do it all the time. I had to stop, however, because every time I took a pregnancy test, I had a baby a few months later. I finally figured out what was causing it.

Broken a bone?

I’ve broken a couple of toes (once by frozen beans and once a frozen roast) and fractured my shoulder at the time of my bike accident where my shoulder was dislocated.

Had braces?

That’s one dental joy I missed. I was blessed with straight teeth. In fact, when I went to a new dentist for the first time, at age 12, he insisted on taking me to an orthodontist in the building to show him how straight my teeth were.

Gone skinny dipping?

Once, in my father’s swimming pool. He made such a huge deal about Walt and me going skinny dipping and then afterwards was so lecherous about it that I refused to ever do it again.

Built something out of wood?

With all the kids and all the projects we’ve had in this house, probably, though I can’t think of anything offhand.

Been to Disneyland?

More times than I want to think about. We took each kid when they were 4-5 years old, and we took most of the foreign students when they were here. That's a lot of visits for someone who doesn't really like rides. The last time I went to Disneyland was when I was giving Peggy a tour of California. My life will be complete if I never have to go again.

Eaten a Krispy Kreme donut?

Yes. It was HIGHLY overrated. Much too sweet. I prefer the local donut shop, or Winchell’s or Dunkin’ Donuts.

Screamed during a scary movie?

No. I’m extremely inhibited. I did, however, give an involuntary and audible intake of breath at one point during The Sixth Sense.

Been to a professional sporting event?

Sure. Giants games, 49er games, horse racing in Dublin. Not a lot, but my share.

Slept till noon?

Heavens no! If I sleep until 9 a.m., I feel like I've missed half the day.

Been arrested?

Never.

Opened Christmas presents early?

Yeah. I confess. I have.

Played Scrabble?

Bwahahaha. My friend Joan and I have been playing on-line Scrabble daily for about 3 years now. Also used to play a lot when I was younger. And now that Facebook has Lexulous, which is like Scrabble, but bigger, I have more people to play with on-line.