The Littlest Vader

Brianna's birthday party last year was all fairy princesses, and a beautiful cake with Disney princesses on it.  This year the Leggo company has been producing cartoons using its Leggo Star Wars characters and Darth Vader is the hero of the day at Bri's nursery school.  Thus, our sweet little Shirley-temple like Brianna had requested a Darth Vader party theme.  And that it was.  In spades.

Laurel, who had almost NO voice from a very bad cough, had been up very late making a Darth Vader cake.

 

(She has far exceeded me in cake decorating expertise!)

The party was held in a park in downtown Santa Barbara.  The kids had been invited to wear costumes, and some did.  There were two Darth Vaders hovering over the potato chip bowl, Brianna and her friend, whose name I cannot remember.

 

There was a storm trooper...

 

...and even a UPS delivery man.

 

Because the Yoda ears didn't fit, Lacie was ObiWan Kenobi instead.

 

Even Mommy got into costume.

 

For lunch there was pizza.  LOTS of pizza.

 

After which there was a Death Star pinata, which the kids hit with light sabers (of course).

 

To get their goodie bags (which were leftover fairy princess bags from last year!), the kids had to go on a hunt for a Darth Vader box (Walt called it the "hidden immunity idol).

 

Then there was cake.

(the candles and light sabers were made of Leggo)

 

When it was all over, Walt and I had an errand to run, and then met everyone back at Tom & Laurel's where we could watch Bri open her presents.

We had given her a Darth Vader wristwatch and a 49er lunch box (both on her wish list) plus some stuff I'd picked up in Monterey recently.  

 

She also got a lot of other Star Wars related stuff, like Storm Trooper mask, lots of Darth Vader paraphernalia and games and, incongruously, feather boas for dress up!

 

But ironically, the thing that got the best reaction was the card we had given her which plays a hamster dance song.  She played that over and over and over again, laughing hysterically each time.

 

As for Lacie, she had a great time and tried to get into mischief whenever she could.  This was her face when she had been writing on her arms.

 

Before we left, Laurel mentioned that Brianna was collecting the state quarters to put in a book and asked if we ever had quarters, to check them and if she needs a certain state, send them to her.  It just so happens that I carry about $12 in quarters in two 35 mm film canisters so that I can use them if I need to fill a parking meter.  I checked my quarters and found a lot that Bri was missing, so we spent some time filling in her book.

 

We brought pizza back to Alice Nan & Joe's for dinner and they watched basketball.  Not a fan, I was frustrated that I had (a) left my kindle at the hotel, (b) left the earphones for my iPod at the hotel, and (c) left my iPad at the hotel!  Nothing to read anywhere.  I realized how addicted I am!!!

But eventually we returned here.  Last night was a good sleep night in the hotel room's recliner and I am hopeful that tonight will be a repeat.

All things considered it was such a fun day and I think Brianna had a great birthday!  Tomorrow is Lacie's Christening.

The Last Miles

There were a few things wrong with our motel last night.  The bed, for one, was not right for me.  Oh, it felt like it should be a very comfortable bed, but this was me and my screwy body and it was after 4 a.m. before I finally was able to get to sleep, probably more out of exhaustion.  But I can't fault the motel for that.  As I said, if I were a normal person, I think it would have been a comfortable bed.

But the room chairs (2) were very uncomfortable too.

This is not a room where you are expected to lounge about...get in drop your stuff, do your activities out of the room, come home and go to bed.  That's the way you should do it.  It's also why, when I couldn't sleep, I didn't do what I usually do, which is to curl up in the room chair.

But the biggest problem with the room, IMO, was the bathroom.  Oh, a nice bathroom, but look what you see when you sit down on the toilet.

(I had just gotten out of the shower when I discovered this and decided I'd get dressed and show you!)

But overall, it was a nice place for one night.  Now we are at an "Extended Stay America," which is designed for people who are going to be staying a week or more (Joe and Alice Nan stayed here a month or more when their house flooded).  I am optimistic about this room because it has a recliner and though there are not 10 pillows (which we had last night...and it still wasn't enough), I still think that I will be able to sleep in the recliner, since I thought ahead and brought my own blanket.  All I'll be missing is a Chihuahua.

It was a nice drive down, more mustard, fluffy clouds and David Baldacci, who I have decided must be talking to Lee Child, since this book we are listening to is so filled with minute descriptions of weapons.

We stopped in Buellton at Pea Soup Andersons for lunch.  They have a nice "travelers special" which is all you can eat of their famous split pea soup (I can never finish more than one bowl anyway), which comes with a variety of toppings and looks like this when it is ready to eat:

With it you get your choice of coffee, tea, soft drink or "thick milk shake."  I chose the shake and decided this was more a glass of ice cream than a shake.  Try getting this through a straw.

And then Santa Barbara to register here at the motel.  The reason we are staying here, by the way, and not with Alice Nan and Joe, is that they are having their kitchen remodeled and the house looks like this:

Tom called and invited us to come over for turkey burgers, which we did.  I took almost no photos (Jeri would be so proud), but did watch Wreck It Ralph with Bri and Uncle Norm.  Tom's friend Lance is there with his wife and son, who is about Lacie's age.  We watched the kids a bit but had promised to leave after bath time so the kids would all go to sleep.  And we did.

Tomorrow is Brianna's 5th birthday party.

Apparently our sweet little granddaughter has chosen a Darth Vader theme for her party.  Go figure.

Crossed This off my Bucket List

Well, after I don't know how many years I have finally been able to cross this off my bucket list:

After getting the house ready for Ashley and David, who are taking care of the dogs during our brief absence, we got on the road around 11 a.m. and headed for Salinas, the first stop on our two-day drive to Santa Barbara.

It was a beautiful drive down, with deep green hills, dramatic clouds, and carpets of mustard lining the road.

We arrived at the Steinbeck Center around 1 p.m.  I have been a huge Steinbeck fan ever since the 1980s when my friend Phil re-introduced me to his works and I went on a Steinbeck-reading spree and read most of what he had written.  But it has been that long since I'd read him.

This is the perfect museum for someone like me.  It's small, but quite complete.  Many of Steinbeck's books were made into movies, some 2, 3, or 4 times.  So there are sections devoted to each of the most famous books:  East of Eden, The Red Pony, Grapes of Wrath, Cannery Row, and some others.  Each section had lots of written material, a narration, and, best of all, padded benches where you could sit and watch excerpts from movies, stage reenactments, and live readings.  I didn't have to pretend to find a reason to sit down--a huge part of the experience is...sitting down!

I became surprisingly emotional when I saw this...

This is the replica of the wooden box that Steinbeck sent the completed manuscript of "East of Eden" to his publisher Pascal Covici.  I read the book along with the book. "Journal of a Novel," the book of letters Steinbeck wrote to Covici every morning about his progress on the story.  Fascinating way to read the book!

This was also a special part of the tour:

This is a replica of the big pipe that some of the residents of Cannery Row, who were otherwise homeless, lived in.  What made it special is that I am currently reading "Cannery Row" (Lynn bought a copy in Monterey and we are reading it together) and I had read that very part of the book an hour or two before we got to the museum!

Steinbeck was a man who hated being famous:

He probably would have hated this museum, but I loved it.  And I am all now re-enthused about reading Steinbeck again.  I actually bought two books I had not read before, both essay collections, one while he was a war correspondent and one about this area of the Salinas Valley, which he loved so much.

It was a GREAT day!!!

Ned's Criminal Past

There was a news story, in January this year, which told of a 7 year old boy accused of stealing $5 from another student on his Bronx school playground.  He was handcuffed by NYPD and taken to the police station, where he was interrogated for more than five hours.  

At the time the article was printed, his family was suing the city for $250 million. Court documents say Reyes was "handcuffed and verbally, physically and emotionally abused, intimidated, humiliated, embarrassed and defamed."

The mother took this photo of her son, still handcuffed at the police station.

Anderson Cooper's show today was a rerun and when I saw the report of this boy, it reminded me of Ned's nefarious past, about which I have not spoken here before.

We were sitting at home one day.  I don't remember how old Ned was.  He was probably in 5th grade because his class was studying German at the time, I believe. The doorbell rang and a local police officer was there to talk with Ned.   He said he was there to question him about the "extortion."   Apparently, he said, Ned had threatened another boy and had taken away his lunch money. 

We expressed shock.  We were like all those parents who can't possibly believe our son had done anything wrong.  Our son?  Of course not.  

The police officer was insistent.  Ned had reportedly beaten up this kid and taken his money.  

We called Ned downstairs.  At the time Ned was not exactly The Hulk.  Very slight, very wiry, very un-threatening.  The police officer took one look at him and realized that the situation could not possibly have been the way it was reported to him.  He asked Ned about what had happened.  Ned said that he and this kid had a bet on the definition of a German word, Ned won the bet, and the kid paid up.  Simply that.  

The police officer believed his version of what had happened and left, with an apology.

We told Ned that he should not be making money bets and that was the end of it.  I thought.  It turned out that the kid had reported to his parents that he was not able to eat lunch because Ned had taken his lunch money away.

The next day I had a call from the mother of the kid.  She said her son wanted to say something to me.  She put him on the phone and I felt so bad for this kid, whose parents were in the background screaming at him to apologize to me for lying about Ned.  He eventually apologized but without the slightest degree of sincerity about it.

I often think about that kid and wonder what happened to him.   After his "apology" the mother got on the phone crying.  She was talking about how difficult it was to raise a child who was approaching puberty.   She was so afraid of all the sexual temptations that were going to be facing him. She went on and on and on for nearly half an hour.  I hadn't done any La Leche League counseling in several years, but I brought back all the active listening skills I once had to talk with her, all the while, listening to what steps they had taken so far to keep their son pure and unsullied, in a world filled with sexual films, and sexual TV and sexual music lyrics, thinking about that poor kid and his parents' fears.

I heard later that they had taken him out of the public school and put him in a local Christian school, where presumably he would be taught better about the dangers of the flesh.  

No charges were ever brought against Ned.

I don't know the outcome of the NewYork case, but I hope they collected a bundle.  It may be too much to hope for $250 million, but surely they deserve a bunch.  

If Davis were a big city and we were a low income family, this incident could just as believably have happened to Ned, even though his situation (apparently like that of the boy in NY) was completely innocent.

Scary stuff.  At least the police didn't shoot him.

The Wonder that is Netstock

Since we lost Pat in October, and both Bill and Dana Rae last month, I have written quite a bit in the past four months about our CompuServe group and how close we have become.

Yesterday I came across some old photos in a box and, one thing led to another and I started on a hunt for photos for some of our "Netstock" gatherings.  It became a great hunt, gathering information, scanning photos, and trying to find out when we met and where.  It was more often than I realized.   The whole group (or whoever could make it) got together for weekend gatherings:

1996 in Boulder, Colorado
1997 in Seattle, Washington
1998 in Washington, DC
1999 in Austin, Texas
2000 in Portland, Oregon
2001 in London
2002 in Ashland, Oregon and
2005 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

(we missed 2003 and 2004...and none since 2005).  Not everybody made it to every gathering, but I did and there are records up the wazoo about who was there and what we did, though amazingly I took very few "people photos."  I guess I was embarrassed to take photos of the people -- I do that sometime in some groups (despite the fact that I photograph EVERYBODY, I have almost no photos taken by me of any Lamplighters, for example!).  But based on the folks our group has lost now, if we have another gathering, I will surely take lots of people pictures!

The gathering in Boulder, where we all fell in love with The Tattered Cover book store and Pat became the "u-turn queen" was so much fun that we planned another one the next year in Seattle.  Mary had just given birth and managed to host a beautiful weekend, with a newborn in her arms!

This is the Seattle group, including Pat (second from the left in front) and Bill.

Sian is the lady on the left and her friend diane is the lady in red.  diane and Sian traveled from England to be with us. (we call England diane "diane" to differentiate between her and Texas Diane...you can do that when your primary method of communication is in print!) We saw lots of Seattle and even took the ferry to Vancouver Island so we could visit Butchart Gardens.  It was a wonderful weekend, recorded in a delightful newsletter by Maryanne E.

In 1998 we went to Washington, DC.  I saw fireflies for the first time, which was magical.  Walt came too and we also brought Peach with us this time.  She was doing genealogy research and wanted to visit the National Archives.

Our hostess was Heidi (next to the lady in blue in  the front of the Seattle picture).  She has since left the group, and we all miss her a lot.  But she hosted a great party at her house.Tricia manned the box o'wine for the group, and Walt (who grew up in Maryland) helped people learn how to buy cards for the Metro

After DC we had a fun time in Austin, which was notable for many things, including a fun river tour and a tour of the Lady Bird Johnson Wild flower center, but mostly for the durian tasting.  Durian is a fruit that people in some parts of the world claim is the most delicious of all fruits.  I think it's called The King of Fruit, but it smells awful and is forbidden to take it on public transortation.  Mike (known as MGGM) managed to find a durian and we were all going to taste it.  Mary finally carved it and we all tasted it.  I think my friend Lynn's face told the reaction most of us had.

I haven't found any photos of our meeting in Portland yet, but Bill hosted it and took us to a fabulous restaurant.  I missed most of the activities, having hurt my foot, but they parked me in the incredible Powell's Book Store to read while everyone else was playing.

After that was London, where we all arrived on 9/11/2001 so it was a rather unusual get together.  It's kind of a blur, but when we could fly again, some of us flew to visit Sian in Orkney, which was a nice way to get away from all the headlines.

After London was Ashland

The lady on the right is another Pat, who didn't stick around the group, but was there for our activities in Ashland. It was a gorgeous trip, with all that beautiful fall color.  I was in great shape and Walt and I brought bikes and did a bike tour of the town.  I've never done that before (or since).

We didn't get together for 3 years after Ashland, but did have a Netstock in Milwaukee in 2005.  One of the memories from that trip was a ride on a short-line railroad train out to a farmers market.

Tricia and Ellen

 
Each of these gatherings has been such fun and such a continual bonding experience.  We've lost members like Heidi and the Pat in Ashland and a few others and now that our group is a private group on Yahoo we don't meet new people any more, but I love these women and have loved them for more than 20 years.  We are talking about another Netstock perhaps in Vermont in the fall.  Before we lose any more people to the grim reaper, I need to give them all another big hug and share another box o'wine and a lot of laughs again.

Decisions, Decisions

I have to admit that these days I am reluctant to travel far from home.  Every time I visit my mother it makes me uncomfortable to think of leaving her alone.  I worried when we were in Europe last year and I know that I will be even more nervous about leaving her when we go off to Ukraine this year.

This morning was a good example.  When Peach and I were there for Cousins Day, there was a big brouhaha over pills.  She needed a refill of her prescription(s), so I called the Kaiser pharmacy for her.  Only the pharmacy said that they couldn't refill them until mid-April.  I put in a call to her doctor's office to ask the nurse to have the doctor refill the prescriptions.  She pointed out that the prescription had just been re-filled in February and that she should still have plenty of pills left, but that she would talk with the doctor.

After I hung up, I looked at the pill bottles more closely and realized that this was a refill I had made for her in October.  She does not remember getting pills in February (though she told me at the time that she did get them, but of course does not remember now).  I called the doctor's office back to let them know that she wasn't taking too many pills, but that the February prescription had disappeared.

The office didn't call back while I was there.  I had left a message to have them call me here because I knew there was no way my mother would be able to explain the problem, mostly because she didn't even understand it.

Well, this morning I talked with her to find out how she was doing and then she called me back to ask again about her pills.  I reminded her that I was waiting for a call from the doctor's office and asked if she had heard anything.  She said she had not.

I called the office again and shortly after her doctor called.  Turns out she had spoken with my mother on Friday AND this morning and my mother had told her that I was out of town and couldn't talk with her until I got back!

The doctor and I talked a lot and both agreed that she needs to be somewhere where someone knows about her and can, if necessary, check on her daily (which will happen since she will be eating at least 2 and possibly 3 meals a day in the dining room).

She doesn't know it yet, but I put a downpayment on an apartment at Springfield for her.  They only have 3 available now and two of them are out of her price range.  Scott is going to come next week to her house and we will have a chat.   I've asked her step-son to come too, so he can get his own questions answered.  

I'll let my mother know then that I've already paid the downpayment for her.

I'm also hoping that family will come around and take whatever things of hers they would like to have.  I'd like her to get the sense that we really are moving her out, slowly.  She says she's ready and if she sees people taking the things she wants to get rid of, it may help. I think her main problem with just packing up "all this crap" is that she really wants people to enjoy her things, not just cart it all off to the Hospice thrift shop where she used to work.

This is so hard.  I want her to be as independent as she can be, but I also want her to be safe.  And I also feel like I'm doing this alone.   With Peach leaving the state and my sister dead, it seems as if it's just me making the decisions and every step I make I wonder if this or that decision is the right one. I frequently get angry with my sister for up and dying on me back in 1971.

Walt's mother was so good.  She moved into Independent Living long before she really needed it.  She made a life for herself that accommodated her move to Assisted Living.  There were decisions to be made, but the biggie, the first move itself, was one she took when she was about our age, a widow living alone who found a community of friends in a new living environment.  My mother has held on until I don't know when to let her make the decision and when to make it for her, because she has her good days and her bad days...and her days when I'm not sure if it is a good day or a bad day!

Once we finally get her settled, I think it's time Walt and I start doing the same thing, and clearing out "all this crap" before we end up in my mother's situation and our kids have to be in my position.

No Foolin'

Yeah, it's April Fool's day, but I always thought it a cruel holiday, so I don't participate.  As for Easter, we were going to take my mother to brunch, but she either lied to us or lied to Jeri.  She called on Saturday to tell me she felt awful and didn't think she could make it out to brunch.  She told Jeri she felt great, would take two walks around the lagoon, and that she had given me "the day off."  Yesterday I was very depressed, thinking my mother was just slowly fading away; today...who knows?

Walt and I went to brunch at a local restaurant, where we met the Easter bunny and had crab benedict (me) and crab omelette (Walt).

 

Then an NCIS marathon and a slice of ham for dinner.

However, I write this on Sunday and so I'm doing a Sunday Stealing again.

1: Who is your favorite Musical Artist from when you were a teenager?
Duhhh.  Judy Garland, of course.

2: Who is your favorite game show host?
Alex Trebek

3: Who is your Favorite Blog hosting service?
That should probably be "WHAT" is your favorite blog hosting service.   Funny the World is hosted by Yahoo, and the mirror Airy Persiflage is on Blogger.   I like Yahoo better because it is more manageable.

4: If you could meet anyone again from your childhood, who would it be?
Sister Anne.  She's dead, though.  But we'd certainly have a lot to talk about.

5: Where did you want to live when you were growing up?
I don't think I've ever wanted to live anywhere but San Francisco.  Haven't lived there since 1960, though, and it's not the city I grew up in, so I'm content where I am.

6: What is the most interesting piece of Trivia that you know?
Given that today is Easter, how about this: Eastre is an ancient word for spring. "Eostre" was a pagan Anglo-Saxon Goddess said to have been the goddess of the sunrise and the spring. She is also the Teutonic goddess of the dawn. The direction of the sunrise, East, is named for her. In Norse mythology, the name is spelled Eostare.

7: If you could live in any point of history when would it be and why?
The difficult thing is the whole bathroom and smells problem.  Anything before flush toilets, no matter how interesting, would be problematic for me! 

8: What is the most interesting job you have ever had?
Medical transcription.  Loved getting all that medical information

9. Please share one middle school memory. It can be good, bad, ugly, funny. Pictures or words, I don't care, just share.
That's a little difficult, since I never attended middle school.  Catholic schools went K-8 and then 9-12.  It's an entirely different vibe from middle school, which is everyone at the very worst period of pre- and post-puberty all together in one building.

10. What's your favorite Beatles song?
Maybe "Hey, Jude."

11. If I asked you to describe your most comfortable outfit, what would it be?
Sweat pants and t-shirt, with fuzzy socks to wear in the house.

12. Would you rather host a party or be a guest?
Host.  Then I don't have to worry about mingling and making small talk--I'll be in the kitchen cooking and organizing.

13. Do you think we will move completely from traditional books to digital ones, and if we do, are you OK with that?
I don't know.  I do love regular books, but I also love my kindle.  I think there are too many people, right now, to get rid of books entirely, though as young people get older, I can see that might be a possibility.  Then will libraries become museums?

14. Do you learn best by reading, listening or experiencing?
It depends on what I'm learning, but generally I learn better by doing than by reading or listening.

15. When you were single, what what is one trait or behavior or habit or anything at all that immediately turns you off from considering a person a potential match for you?)
Bigotry.  Homophobia.  Someone who haughtily informs me theynever watch TV, except a little public TV sometimes.

16. Snacks. Salty or sweet?
Yes.  But probaby more salty than sweet.

17. Look around you in a four foot radius. What object is around you that you didn't realize was there or forgot was there? How long has it been there?
Surely you jest.  However, a video camera just appeared on my desk last week.   I've had it for several years and have never used it.  I don't have a clue how it suddenly appeared on my desk.

18. What is your favorite Tom Cruise movie?
Rain Man or Jerry Maguire

19. You buy a bottle of shampoo and discover that you don't like what it does to your hair at all. What do you do with that full bottle?
Oh, I probably use it anyway, if it cost too much to just throw out.

20. Your favorite spring comfort food? (Last week it was beverage.)
Oh, any Easter chocolate