It Started Last Night

Last night was one of "those" nights.  I couldn't sleep.  I was up and down all night.  I don't know what time I finally got to sleep on the couch, but I was wide awake at 6 a.m. with the light outside.

I had plans to have lunch with my mother and go over her paperwork.   The very last thing I wanted to do was to make that drive again, but I'm really trying to be good about keeping to seeing her once a week, since she seems to feel unloved if she doesn't see me often.

I thought about calling her first to let her know I was leaving, but I had just talked to her two days before and felt of course she would remember.  I won't make that mistake again.

Diana Gabladon's characters and I made the trip, stopping en route to take a picture of a statue I had seen on my last trip, when I hadn't had the camera with me.

It's this cool metal statue that is out in the middle of nowhere right now, but in an area which is being turned into some sort of a small strip mall. 

I was a little later than usual getting onto Hwy 37, the road from I-80 to Hwy 101.  It's 30 minutes along the north shore of San Pablo Bay.

The area along the road is a wildlife preserve and more than once I have wanted to stop to take pictures of hawks, egrets, and assorted water birds that proliferate along the sides of the road, but there is never a convenient place to stop.

It was just about noon when I pulled up to my mother's house.  I had been fighting sleep and dragged myself out of the car and up the stairs to the house.  Bad mental attitude.  I really wasn't looking forward to the day.

The door was locked and there was no answer to my knock.  I got out my key and opened the door.  The curtains were open and the newspapers were on the couch, so I knew she hadn't died in her sleep.  But there was no sign of her.  I thought she might have gone out for her walk around the lagoon.   But then I saw a note on her counter "Out for lunch with Paula."  I checked her calendar on which she had written "Lunch Bev here" in pencil and then over "Bev" she had written "Paula" in pen.  Strangely, there were four slices of bread n the bread board, as if she had planned to make lunch.  

Well shit.  I had just  driven an hour and a half for nothing.  I took all the knick knacks off of a shelf which the cleaners who came two weeks ago had not cleaned.  She had been very angry about that, pointing out how thick the dust was on the shelf.  She guessed it was just too much work for them.  I sent an angry letter to the cleaning company and the manager called back.  He had been there himself and had asked her if she was sure she didn't want the shelf cleaned and she had told him it was "just too much work" and to leave it alone.  Sigh. 

I took a picture of the shelf before I removed all the stuff, and replaced it in the right order.  I felt good that it was done, and am certain she won't even notice, but I will.

I finally decided to just go on home.  Another hour and a half in Scotland with Gabaldon's characters.  That part was nice but the fighting sleep part was not.

I figured she would call me, so when I sat in the recliner with an NCIS marathon, I remembered to bring the phone to put next to me.  I sat down at 2 p.m. and went to sleep just about instantly.  At 2:13, the phone rang.   A robo call, dammit.  I decided I would call my mother, who was sorry she had missed me, said she had no idea her friend was going to come by and asked if I had gotten the information I needed (I was going to be going through all of her file with her so I could understand what all is there).

I reminded her that I would be back next week, said I had put it on her calendar, and that we had a lunch date with this senior living place in Petaluma.  She didn't remember that.

Her memory is fading much faster these days.   The sooner we find a place, I think the better off we are going to be. 

And yes, next week, I will call her the night before AND the morning before I leave!!

The whole problem is that what with the robo call and calling my mother, I lost the sleepy feeling and could not get back to sleep.  I hate it when that happens.  NOT the condition in which I want to head out to review a show tonight.

Princess Lynno

In a few days, I'm taking a "girls' days off" to spend some time with my friend Lynn in Monterey, leaving Walt behind.  I met Lynn when I was working at the ob/gyn office a gazillion years ago and we have been friends for 25 years or more.  She moved from Davis to Texas a long time ago.  She has recently divorced her husband and returned to California, where she now works as a midwife in So. California, still a long way away, so we rarely have the chance to see each other.  I think we got together about 3 years ago, when I went to San Diego to spend a weekend with her (she has now moved from San Diego).

I came across a scrapbook that I made during the years when I was the office manager for Sutter West Women's Health, the group that Women's Health Association became when it was bought out by the Big Bad HMO.  (I can relate a lot to the problems of Grey's Anatomy's Seattle Grace Hospital!)

In the scrapbook was the story I wrote for Lynn to give to her at her going-away party.  She always said she wanted to be a princess, so we had a party where everyone came in dressed as ladies or gentlemen of the court and Lynn was Princess Lynno.  I had written a fable for her that I really like, so I thought I would share it.

Some terms might help you appreciate it more.  

Yoni is defined here.
MQA stands for "massive quantities of alcohol," which Lynn and I and another friend used to call our ladies' nights out.
Davis is frequently referred to as "the land of all things right and relevant."
Obviously all the characters are real people, and I had great fun naming them (e.g., The Wizard of Odds is a bookkeeper in real life).

The story is called:

"P" is for Princess
or
A fable of Love and Loss

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Lynno who lived in the land of the Golden Gate.  The princess was kind and beautiful, but she was lonely and felt her life was not complete.

One day the princess was visited by the good fairy Kermit of Sarber, who saw that she was sad.  'You must leave your home,' said the fairy, 'and travel over the golden hills to the Land of All Things Right and Relevant. There you will discover the secret of the sacred yoni, your life will be complete and you will be happy.'   And so the princess left the land of the Golden Gate and traveled over the golden hills until she came to the Land of All Things Right and Relevant.

The princess sought the help of King Leon the Good, one of the last in the Royal Family of the House of Low Intervention.  'Your Majesty,' said Lynno, 'I am trying to learn the secret of the sacred yoni so that my life might be complete.'   The king, who was a wise king, appointed her Mother of All Midwives.  'Here,' said the King, 'you will learn much about the sacred yoni.'

The princess was happy in the Land of All Things Right and Relevant.   She made many friends.  She was loved by all, especially by the women of the Order of Puja. She learned much about the yoni, but her life was still not complete.

She visited the Good Witch Lee of Olson.  'Something is missing from my life,' she told the witch.  'Your life will be complete if you learn to fly,' said the good witch and she taught her to fly.  But her life was still not complete.

'You must travel to the mountains,' said Lady Lynn of Schimmel.   'In the mountains you will find peace and contentment and your life will be complete.'  And so the princess traveled to the mountains with the ladies of the court.  And she saw that it was good.  But when she returned from the mountains, there was still something missing from her life.

Conrad, the nymph of the Forrest, saw that the princess was stressed and said 'I can help you to relax.  When you learn to relax you will finally be happy.'  And so Conrad helped the princess to relax, but her life was still not complete.

'I can cast a spell upon you and put you into a deep sleep,' said Rosemarie, the Wizard of Odds.  'When you wake from your slumber, you will know the secret of the sacred yoni and your life will be complete.'  And so Rosemarie put her into a deep sleep.

When she awoke, she felt rested but her life was still not complete.

She joined the Order of M.Q.A. and she learned the secret of the magic potions.  It brought her much happiness but her life was still not complete.

She learned how to make the citizens of the land happy and she was known far and wide for her ability to entertain.  But her life was still not complete.

In time she learned the secret of the sacred yoni, but even that did not complete her life.  She shared her yoni with many princes of the court, hoping to find The One who would make her happy, but, alas, there was no one worthy of the sacred yoni.

'How many frogs do I have to kiss to find my prince?' she wailed in desperation.  'May I try, your highness?' asked Harris, the page. 'You?' she asked. 'But you're only a page.  Do you think you are worthy of a princess?' 'I'd like to try,' said Harris.  And so Lynno shared with him her sacred yoni and it was Very Good.  The princess knew happiness for the first time. 'Now that I know you love me for myself, I can reveal my true identity,' said Harris.  'I am really Prince Christopher of Naturewood, heir to the throne of LaLa Land.'

So Princess Lynno and Prince Christopher were married.  It was a fairy tale wedding and all the citizens of the land rejoiced in their happiness.

The Prince and Princess moved to a magic cottage in the woods and at long last Princess Lynno felt her life was complete.

Now if this were a fairy tale, we would say that the Princess and her Prince lived happily ever after.  But since this is real life, that's not quite what happened, for while the citizens were rejoicing at the happiness of their Princess, a black cloud came over the kingdom.  The Black Knight, Sir Gary Third Son of the Evil House of Sutter stole the treasure of the realm--The Great Seal of Quality Medical Care.   In its place he erected a monument to Lord HMO.

The evil Sir Gary told King Leon 'You may still be king, but I have usurped your power.  I will now rule the land for Lord HMO.'  King Leon was powerless and the citizens were afraid.

But Princess Lynno was not afraid for now her life was complete and she felt strong.  'I don't need this shit,' she said.  'I am happy and Sir Gary can't ruin my life.'  And so Princess Lynno and Prince Christopher prepared to leave the Land of All Things Right and Relevant and follow their stars to new lands and new adventures. 

There was much weeping and lamentation in the Land of All Things Right and Relevant.  The citizens wrote their farewells to the beautiful princess and nobody lived happily ever after.

Making a Difference

Following my entry about Eduardo the other day, I received a note in the comment section from his daughter, Paula.  I can't remember the last time a comment warmed my heart so much. 

Hey Bev,
You've never met me but I'm Eduardo's daughter. My dad just sent this to me and I loved the story and the photos. My dad had quite the mustache back then. Hope all is well, I've heard lots about you and your family and how my dad had such a great experience with you. He always encourages me to go abroad for a course! Thanks for giving my dad such a great experience when he was my age

When she was born, Eduardo promised I would "get so tired" of seeing pictures and videos of her as she grew up, but his life got busy and I rarely heard about her, but I did get photos and video once in awhile.  I still feel she is part of my life.

The day after Paula wrote her note, there was a note from Eduardo too:

Dearest Bev. I am sure you know that meeting you, Walt and the kids was such a positive experience in my life. The generosity and warmth was incredible and how I was made part of your family is definetly one of the highlights in my life. You are a very special person and those lucky to know you certainly understands. Thank you for the special memories and the friendship. I am very thankfull that our paths in life have crossed. I am also so glad that Paula sent you a message and I hope someday you will meet her. Thank you for the memories and my love to you all.

(He obviously learned English very well!)

It got me to think about the serendipitous things that happen in our lives that result in major life shifts.  For example, I still remember the day that Sister Mary William stopped me between classes when I was a Freshman in high school and invited me to be the Sophomore editor of the school yearbook the following year.  I credit that one brief interaction with starting me one the road to all the writing I've done throughout my life.  I might have done it anyway...writing seems to run strongly in our family...but whenever I think of the various writing jobs I have had, from editor of the school newspaper to theater critic and all those newsletters in between, I always thank Sister Mary Williams for seeing something in me and pushing me in that direction.

My friend and old boss Ann never dreamed I'd end up managing two medical offices when she tossed a tape and a medical dictionary at me one day and said "Here.  Transcribe this.  I'll help you with words you can't understand."

I think we all hope that when we are gone we can feel that we have done a good thing if we have made a difference somewhere.  Sometimes we may do some small thing that causes a big ripple and we may never know it.  Sometimes, if we are lucky, we get to see the results of that small thing.

I am thinking back to one of the first groups I coordinated for The Experiment in International Living, a group from Chile.  It would be the first time that I assigned visitors to host families and I hoped that I did it right.

One family consisted of Diane, a school friend of Jeri's, her parents, a daughter who had already left home, and a daughter who was mentally challenged, who lived in the home.  When I looked through the dossiers on the students who were coming, there was a girl, Carolina, who had volunteered to work with mentally challenged people in Chile.  I figured it would be a good match.

I couldn't possibly have planned how good it turned out to be. 

The homestay was only for three weeks, but it worked beautifully and the family loved Carolina.  She and Diane became great friends and promised to stay in contact with each other.  They all do, of course, and so few actually keep up the contact once the guest returns to his or her home.

I don't know the extent of their continuing contact (and may make lots of mistakes in the telling of this story), but they visited each other back and forth, Diane going to Chile, Carolina coming back here.  One year, Carolina had just become engaged and she and Diane were going to have a last fling before her wedding.   I think they went to Disneyland or something like that. On the trip they met a charming man from Canada, Carolina fell for him, ended her engagement to her fiancee and soon after Diane was flying to Canada to be the maid of honor at Carolina's wedding.

A few years later, Carolina was maid of honor at Diane's wedding.

They continue to remain close friends and though they live a distance from each other, they continue to see each other regularly and their children  have been raised as cousins to each other.  Diane and her husband have their own vinyard in upstate New York and Carolina is a well known artist in Canada.

When I think of making a difference in the world, I always think of Carolina and Diane.

I also think of Sonia and Charlie.  Sonia had been given my contact information by her friend, who had been an Experiment leader for a Brasilian group.  Sonia was going to be traveling with her cousin and the cousin's boyfriend and he thought if she was near me, she might call me so we could meet.  Well, the group was in San Francisco and Sonia was miserable.  She was not getting along with her companions and she was running out of money and didn't know what to do.  She called me in tears on night and I drove to Oakland to pick her up in their motel and bring her here to Davis.  I never saw the cousin.

While here, Sonia met Charie in a bar one night and it was apparently love at first sight.  She moved in with him for the remainder of her visit here.   She eventually returned to Brasil and the romance cooled.  Years later, she was going to be in California on business and asked if she could come to visit.  As it turned out, the night she was flying in, we would not be home, so I told her where she could find a key to the house and that we would see her the next morning.

Then, just on a whim, I called Charlie to tell him she was coming and would be taking the bus from San Francisco.  There was a long silence and then he said "what's her flight number?"  She wasn't here when we returned home and we didn't see her for a week.  

She and Charlie had picked up where they left off.

I was matron of honor at their wedding, and years later attended Sonia's citizenship ceremony. They now live in Napa and their two kids are in college.

  

Sonia is another one I think of when I wonder if I have made a difference in the world.  Neither of these stories are as a result of anything out of the ordinary that I did, but it was like tossing a pebble in a lake and the ripples extending out much farther than I ever dreamed possible.

I have no idea of any of the other foreign students had that kind of life changing moment but each one of them changed our lives, not to the extent that Eduardo did, but, to quote Francoic Mauriac, a quote I used in the second Lamplighter history, which was dedicated to Gilbert...

"No love, no friendship, can ever cross the path of our destiny without
leaving some mark on it forever."

How lucky I have been in my life to  have those kinds of relationships to look back upon.

I'm Giving Up Food

I've decided the only solution is to give up food.  I can't afford to buy it any more.

I rarely go shopping these days.  I have to be out of absolutely everything before I go to the store..the thrill is definitely gone!

Walking into Nugget supermarket I saw a "sale" on blueberries.  A container that amounted to about one cup of berries for "only" $4.00.  You could get two containers of blackberries, about the same amount in each container for $7.00 each.

Strawberries, which were in a slightly larger container, were $5.   I love berries.  I eat a lot of berries on cereal, in cottage cheese, and just as snacks, but I passed on the berries.  I couldn't justify the luxury of the price.

Continuing through the produce aisle, I decided to look at the price of artichokes, which Walt and I both like a lot.  $3 each.  For one artichoke.   I've seen them higher, but I wasn't about to pay $6 for two artichokes.

But it wasn't until I came to the mushrooms that I had apoplexy.   $16 (well, $15.99) for mushrooms.  These aren't fancy schmancy mushrooms either.  Just the same old mushrooms I buy whenever I want to buy mushrooms.  Safe to say there will be no risotto or sauteed mushrooms in our foreseeable future.  The other mushrooms were every so slightly less (at least they were in single digits), but still not a price that I felt I could reasonably afford.

I moved on to the meat aisle.  What had brought me to the supermarket was having nothing for dinner.  Meat?  Pfwww.  Who can afford meat?  I didn't write down the price, but I wasn't going to pay $25 for a very small roast anything. It's been so long since lamb was affordable (and I love lamb...almost as much as I love crab) that I can hardly remember what it tastes like.   Hamburger now costs per pound what I used to pay for steaks.

It's not that the prices have suddenly jumped up.  They've been going up right along, but I usually go through the store with my eyes closed.  We need the stuff, and I grab it without checking the price.  Today my eyes were open.   (Well, really it was the mushrooms that opened my eyes!)

I finished the shopping, rejecting item after item after item because I wasn't going to pay that much.  In the end I had half a shopping cart full of food and it still cost me $100.  I had given up and bought some meat -- a pound of the lowest grade ground beef, and chicken that will last us two meals.  I also will make a "clean out the freezer" soup this week.  I don't have a clue what it will taste like, but it will be hearty and healthy.

As I left the supermarket, I was thinking about what they say will be the financial implications for the little guy with the financial downgrading this damn sequester will bring.  Walt and I aren't poor.  We have enough money to buy the food we want for dinner; it's just the principle of the thing that kept me from buying more stuff.  How in the world do people who are less well off manage?

Before I went to the store, Walt and I sat in the living room and listened to Says You on the radio.  Our dogs are so frustratingly weird.   Whenever there is anything unusually "social" going on (visitors, or Walt and me sitting in the living room) they feel that their way of participating is to wrestle at our feet.  Every. time.

I got my iPad and decided to make a video of it.  Unfortunately Sheila had tired by the time I got it, but Lizzie and Polly played all the way through the end of "Says You."  Windows Movie Maker doesn't permit me to edit video any more, but it will, at least, put together a few clips and turn them into a movie, which I have added to the "Photo of the Day" block.

One of these 

days I am either going to try to reinstall Windows Movie Maker or set aside time I don't really have to learn Adobe Premier Elements, which Ned loves and which I just can't seem to wrap my head around. Yet.

5000 Questions, Part 5

No, I'm not answering 5000 questions today, but the following is what I found on Sunday Stealing today:

Today we ripped off a blogger named Leo from the blog Leonine's Journal. He was tackling a meme that his blogging site, Live Journal, hosts. It has 5,000 questions. He did a hundred. So, we will take it from there. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing.
The 5000 Question Meme, Part One
The 5000 Question Meme, Part Two
The 5000 Question Meme, Part Three
The 5000 Question Meme, Part Four 

101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically? A tingle.  An inner glow.  That smile you can't quite wipe off your face.

102. List five things you love starting with the one you love the absolute most.
A - all of my family
B  - volunteering at Logos each week
C  - OK.  I'll admit it.  I love television
D  - curling up with a warm dog, a soft blanket, and a good book
E  - My computer(s)

103. How many movies have you gone to see this year? Two:  Les Miserables and Silver Linings Playbook

104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for? #1 - that all of my sponsored children could have access to clean water and enough food to eat #2 - that Jeri could find a teaching job in California so she could return #3 - that somehow Bob will miraculously be able to come home again.

105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense? eat, TV, computer

106. How much money would it take to get you to sell your blog address? Not interested.  At least not until we finish the 5000 question meme.

107. Have you ever been hunting? Shoot Bambi?  Surely you jest.  I am not a hunter and have absolutely NO interest in hunting.

108. Have you attempted this 5000 question meme in the past? No.  Never heard of it until today.

109. What do you think of cloning? An interesting concept with potentially disastrous consequences.

110. Do you read or watch TV more often? I watch TV more often, but I often read while I'm watching TV.

111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety? I think there is an awful lot of hype that is stirring up fear and panic and no, it would take a lot to sacrifice rights and freedoms.

112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive? I can see this is a very old questionnaire.  If I found Osama Bin Laden alive, I would put him on display at Ripleys because it would prove reincarnation.

113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body? No.  That's juvenile.

114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? Radio, no.  TV a couple of times.

115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes? I am not a winner.   Mostly because I don't play.  But I don't play because I have never been a winner.

116. Have you ever won a contest or competition? I won 5th place in an essay contest once.  It was a trip by ocean liner from San Francisco to Los Angeles (basically overnight).  But I have no pride in the win because my essay was pretty much dictated by a nun, who didn't let me write any of it myself.

117. Have you ever watched The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don't know who he is. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)? Yes.  He was amazing.  Sad that he is no longer with us.

118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living? My father's father worked in a garage his whole life (after he left vaudeville, where he was an Irish tenor).  My father's mother had been a dancer in the chorus line in Vaudeville and then a housewife the rest of her life (she may also have worked as a manicurist for awhile; I'm not sure).  My mother's father was a farmer and earlier in his life he had been a handiman and a plumber.  I can't remember what her mother did.   I don't know what most of my great grandparents did, but on my mother's side one of her grandfathers was a newspaper man, another was a hellfire and damnation preacher.

119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? Too much to write here.  But to name a few, one aunt was married 13 times to 12 men (#5 and #7 were the same guy and in between he was married to her sister).  My godfather, also my great uncle, was a champion 6 day bicycle racer; another great uncle came one fight from being featherweight champion.  One uncle on my mother's side was a prisoner of war and had some interesting stories to tell about that experience.

120. Is there anyone you trust completely? I don't really want to think about trusting "completely."  I have been disappointed many times by people I thought I could "trust completely."  I probably could trust Walt completely, but you never know...

Meme Time

I didn't do Sunday Stealing the last two weeks.  Last week's was one I'd done most of before and the week before was one that I couldn't really relate to, so it's been awhile.  I went back over the memes that I set aside to do "someday" and decided to do this one today.

1. What brand & flavor of toothpaste do you use?
PreviDent.  I don't know if it's prescription or not.  I've never bought it; my dentist gives it to me.  I have enough to last me another year!

2. What is your earliest memory?
I think it's a train trip my mother and I took to So. California.  I just remember bits and pieces.  I also remember wanting to climb in my sister's crib and suck on a bottle, which my parents let me do (I didn't like it, I discovered), but I was 4-1/2 when Karen was born and I'm pretty sure the train trip was before that.

3. Hot Dogs or Hamburgers?
I've never been a hot dog person, unless there is a ball game in front of it.   I'm a hamburger girl, preferably a cheeseburger, and preferably with Swiss cheese.   I usually eat it plain, but may dip the bun in catsup, as my mother taught me to do.

4. If you could bring any one famous person back to life, who would it be?
Maybe Lyndon Johnson -- I'll bet he could whip the congress into shape. 

5. What is one thing we would always find in your fridge... what one thing would we never find?
You will always find butter.  You will never find beets (unless Walt is hiding them somewhere)

6. Did you have to go and look for the answer of #1?
Nope

7. Why don't watermelons grow on trees?
I passed an orange tree yesterday.  The ground under it was littered with oranges which had ripened and fallen off onto the ground.  I tried to imagine what would happen if it had been a watermelon tree.  Not a pretty sight. 

8. What is something that you own that you should probably just throw in the trash, but you never will?
Most of the stuff in the upstairs "big bedroom." 

9. I push you into a room and lock the door. I leave you there for 6 hours. The walls are chalkboards and in the middle of the room there is a box of colored chalk. What will be written/drawn on the walls when I let you out?
Nothing worth looking at.  I'm not a doodler.
 
10. When was the last time you changed the oil on your car?
I  have never changed the oil in this car, which is not to say that it has never been changed, but Walt takes care of that.

11. In your extended family, who has been married the longest?
Depends on how far you want to extend the family.  Walt and I are pretty close at nearly 48 years, but Peach and Bob are over 50 years.

12. Name one thing that is so normal to you now that someone who was your age 50 years ago would think was abnormal.
Lord, just about everything.  Television, digital anything, 24 hour news, frozen dinners, Rush Limbaugh....

13. Have you ever wanted someone or something so bad that it hurt?
Yes.  I want my dead kids back.

14. What do you dip your french fries in?
I'm usually a fries purist and take nothing, but if they turn out to be big mushy fries (which I don't like), I may dip them in catsup. 

15. What was the last picture that you took?
a picture of the program for the show I reviewed last night ("Tribute") that I could post to FourSquare.

Eduardo

It was kind of a shock to get a reminder for Eduardo's birthday.   Not that I didn't know he was having a birthday, but reading "Eduardo will be 54" kind of hit me.

But if course he is 54.  He turned 22 when he lived with us, in 1981.

(The figures on the side of the banner are having a conversation:   "What's new? What's new?" "Eduardo's 22."  That is, left to right:  David, Tom, Ned and Paul, who looks like he just woke up.)

Eduardo changed our lives.  If it weren't for Eduardo, we would never have had ten years of international exchange students.  I would never have learned Portuguese, Ned and Tom would never have visited Brasil, I never would have made friends with Roz and Stan in Maryland, I never would have had the chance to travel all over the country for meetings.

I had always thought, in passing, that it might be fun to host an exchange student, but given the "casual" (i.e., sloppy) nature of my housekeeping, I never thought that would be possible.  No way I could keep a house neat and tidy for a year for a high school student.

But when someone asked me if we would be willing to host an older student for 3 weeks, I thought I could probably do that.  It was through The Experiment in International Living and a group of Brasilians would be arriving in Davis, needing accommodations for only three weeks.  Well, heck, even *I* should be able to keep the house clean for 3 weeks, so I said we would take a student.

We received a dossier with information about Eduardo, who was from Rio de Janeiro, and who seemed like a nice looking guy.  On the appointed day, all the families gathered at the home of the coordinator and we met our student.

Lord...was I ever that thin...that young....?

We brought him home and he immediately started bonding with the kids.   Especially Tom and David, who were the "babies" (David was 9, Tom 10).   I was happy that he spoke pretty good Englsh, and he was so serious about improving his English.  We constantly had casual English lessons.  I learned a whole new way of speaking to people who are learning the language.  For years, my speech was slow and deliberate, and I chose simple words instead of complicated ones.  The end result sounded like normal speech, but it was definitely "foreign student speech."  (I had a non-English speaking woman at Logos yesterday and I was surprised at how quickly I slipped back into that mode of speech when dealing with her.)

The three weeks passed so quickly.  We went to San Francisco, to Lake Tahoe, to Reno so he could try gambling, and there were parties with the group.   I couldn't believe how quickly the time passed.  When it came time to leave, Eduardo and two of his friends, Sapo and Celso, along with the group leader, Rejane, wanted to remain in Davis and take an ESL (English as a Second Language) class at the universtiy.  The coordinator for the program let us know that we were under no obligation to let them stay longer, and that they could get an apartment, but of course we were delighted Eduardo wanted to stay.   We went to the airport to see off the rest of the group.

(Sapo is the tall one on the left, Eduardo is the tall one on the right, and Celso is the guy in front of Eduardo, with the big moustache, Rejane is the blonde with Celso's hand on her shoulder).

Then our real bonding with Eduardo began.  He went to school, he got a job painting a house to help give him some spending money.  His mother, Rosa, and I started a correspondence. She wrote in Portuguese, I wrote in English (she spoke a bit of English) and he gave me his dictionary to help me translate her letters, by which I started to learn Portuguese.

There were more trips, more family activities.  We went to Yosemite and Disneyland. Eduardo was here when David made his First Communion. Though his family is Jewish, he came to Mass with us and took pictures.

I learned how to make his favorite Brasilian foods thanks to recipes he wrote to ask his mother to send.  I made a mean feijoada and salada de bacalau (which is potato salad with codfish in it).  We struggled to find the translation for "beringela," which we ultimately found out was "eggplant."

Eduardo helped me with the Boy Scouts (in the years before they started discriminating!) and taught the boys how to make kites.  He helped Walt with mowing the lawn. We took him to Portland to see the ash from the eruption of Mt. St. Helen's, he went to a Pinata party gathering, we took him to Finocchio's (female impersonator) nightclub.

He and Ned became particularly good friends and it was very hard on all of us, especially Ned, when five months finally came to an end and Eduardo really had to leave.  Walt and I made plans to travel to Brasil some day (we still have not done so--and Eduardo, his wife and daughter have lived in Canada for a long time now).

Because the Eduardo experience was so good, I agreed to take over organizing groups of foreign students for home stays in Davis.  We, ourselves, hosted many more groups, and ultimate some 70 people from 14 different countries in our own house.  The bulk of them came from Brasil and the international friends who have stayed in our lives, with the exception of Jane, who is from England, are from Brasil.

A year after he left here, Ned was having serious social problems in school.  Eduardo invited him to come to Brasil and we thought that might be a good idea.  We told him he could go for a week, for the summer, or stay a year. We hoped he'd stay the year and he never knew that Eduardo and I talked on the phone every week to assess how bad his initial homesickness was.  He would write about how he wanted to come home and I would write and tell him on which date I would call him, and that it was expensive to call frequently.  I would, of course, have talked with Eduardo once or twice before I made the official call to Ned  who, by that time, was no longer homesick.  It seemed to be a very good year for him. He grew about a foot while he was gone and came back fluent in Portuguese.

Tom was on a business trip to Toronto in 2003 and stopped by to see Eduardo.  They had both changed a bit since 1981!

I often wonder how different our lives would be today if we had never met Eduardo, or if he had not been such a likeable guy.  He brought the world into our house and he will always be a part of our family.

Happy birthday (a bit late), Eduardo.  We love you so much...

He came to see us in 2004. He fit back in as if he had never left.

I made his favorite quiche for dinner.