Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Biggest Loser

Everyone has a role to play in a family.

Apparently my role in the Cousins Day wing of the family is to come and make charitable donations to my female relatives so they can offset their losses in the stock market. This Cousins Day I made them rich beyond their wildest desires.

Bitches. Every single one of 'em.

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(at least I didn't get the boob at all this time!)

It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't SMIRK as they took my $1.15, game after game after game. It wouldn't be so bad if my mother wasn't always running her fingers through her winnings like Scrooge McDuck, or if Kathy didn't have to hook up to her oxygen tank from the sheer force of exertion it takes to lift her bag of coins.

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Needless to say, Lady Luck was not in my corner this time. I just kept giving them money and they kept taking it. And giggling.

As I said, bitches. Every one of 'em.

smirnoff.jpg (42638 bytes)Otherwise, away from cards, it was a lovely Cousins Day. It was my turn to bring drinks, and I found a bottle of Pomegranate Martinis, all mixed already so I didn't have to buy mixes to go with it. It was quite tasty--the only problem being that I really should have bought a second bottle.

Kathy, Peach and I recently filled out o meme-like e-mail questionnaire where it asked what your favorite food is. Anybody who has suffered through my memes here knows that I always answer "fresh cracked crab," and it turned out that Peach and Kathy did too, so we decided to have a crab Cousins Day. My mother went and bought a crab per person and we each paid her for it. Peach brought hors d'oeuvres and after drinks and hors d'oeuvres, when they decided to stop embarrassing me about my losses and let me eat in peace for a bit, we settled down to a dinner of crab and french bread. We all had an elegant sufficiency and definitely had our fill of crab. For that day anyway!

As for the heart of Cousins Day, the camaraderie, it was there in spades. We discussed everything from Obama to crotches and just about everything in between...and I'll let your brains do with it what it will!

I do love these women.

Even if they are bitches.

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