The Return of "The Psychiatrist"

It has been about a year since the psychiatrist and I had an amicable separation. He found a new transcriptionist and I entered blissful, if non-profitable, retirement from 30+ years of doing his transcription.

Amazingly, I don't think our paths have crossed in all that time, which is strange, since we often travel in the same circles.

Today, we both attended the same party.

He told me how much he missed "all my good work" (conveniently forgetting what a flake I was the last year I worked for him). I told him that I had to honestly admit that I didn't miss it one bit.

But it was lovely to see him (and his wife). Since we last parted, one of their kids has had a new baby and another one is expecting their second child in April. I told him about our impending new addition to the family and the trip Jeri and I are taking to France and Italy next year.

It was so incredibly nice to stand there talking with him without a huge cloud of guilt hanging over my head as I thought about how much undone work was sitting at home and wondering if he was going to ask me about it! He's a lovely man and I like him even better now that I don't have to meet his deadlines.

I'm even going to (I think) write a story for the newspaper about the musical group with which he has played for years. My editor and I discussed this several months ago and tabled the idea until the spring, when they will be playing outdoors frequently. Now that is going to be a fun article to write!

The party we attended was for a woman celebrating her 75th birthday. We've known her and her husband most of the time we've been in Davis, though we seldom see them more than once or twice a year (if that).

Pat is a wonderful woman who has had a major impact on this city, a "selfless" (as someone described her), self-effacing person whom I always hear apologizing because she hasn't done "more" for some particular cause or event or person, when, in fact, she has done so much.

In addition to being a founding member of the Davis Comic Opera Company, she was also a major force in starting Citizens Who Care, which provides support services for county older adults and their caregivers. You might want to check the group's web site. It looks very professional now, but I remember when it was just a germ of an idea that Pat and a couple of other people had.

I could go on and on and on about all the things Pat has been involved in, which also includes gourmet cooking and gardening, yet I never once visited her when she didn't apologize for something she felt she didn't quite do right.

As person after person got up to the microphone to talk about the impact Pat had on their lives, I thought how wonderful it would be to live that long and have this kind of a celebration. I know of very few people (myself included) who could.

I looked around the room today and saw some of the luminaries of this town, including a couple of former mayors and a County Supervisor. A good friend had left Dublin that morning (Dublin time) and hoped to get to the party in time, but she had not arrived by the time we left.

Walt and I gravitated to the table that was filled with people from the now defunct Davis Comic Opera Company, who are probably our closest friends in Davis (the honoree and her husband were founding members of the company). It was nice to sit together with this group because we see them so rarely now that there is no more DCOC. One guy with whom we used to socialize on a regular basis, and who is one of my favorite people around here, I realized I had not seen in over a year. We keep missing each other at events.

Now that we're all getting so old, we don't seem to do evening parties any more, so this one started at 2 and we were home in time for dinner.

But it was a lovely tribute to a lovely lady and I felt very honored to be among the invited guests.

Lazy Saturday

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The World Keeps Spinning

It seems that while I've been off gallivanting hither and yon, "life" has kept moving forward. While I've been deprived of the nightly "pundit sitcoms" (as Walt calls shows like Chris Matthews and Keith Olberman), world news has gone on without me. While I've been wrapping baby gifts and not reading The Huffington Post, worrisome things have continued to be posted on the Internet.

Now that I'm back home again, and with a blissfully empty schedule for two whole weeks, it's time to pick up where I left off however many days/weeks ago that was, and express ire, frustration, and whatever other emotion seems to well up as I try to catch up.

It seems that while I've been in a news blackout, the Vatican has created new sins (kind of like Bill Mahr's "New Rules," without the laugh track). I don't think these are carved in stone the way the original ones are, or that there is some celestial Xerox machine which has whipped out several addenda that God didn't realize he would need until Man began screwing things up. On the whole, the "sins" (probably an irrelevant term anyway--do people still go to confession any more? Are there still mortal sins and venial sins?) make sense. Things like pollution -- "thou shalt not befoul the air I have given to thee" (or something like that) and I may have quarrel with the church's stand on genetic manipulation, stem cell research and that sort of thing, but I understand their stance against it.

However, I had to scoff at the emphasis on the sin of social injustice from the organization which is one of the biggest contributors to social injustice against gay people.

And then there's that old sex scandal stuff. Surely you remember it. It was in all the papers. But that is, apparently, the problem. Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, the spokesperson for Pope Benedict, acknowledged the “objective gravity” of the allegations, but contended that the heavy coverage by mass media of the scandals must also be denounced because it “discredits the church.”

Discredits the church? Well...duhhhh! Should the media have been part of the vast coverup? Apparently the media was guilty of the sin of...uh...honesty!

Back on this side of the Atlantic, the gas at the station near Alice Nan's house in Santa Barbara was charging $3.99 a gallon for regular (in fairness, it was the only station we saw charging that much. $3.79 seemed to be more common). Didja see Our Glorious Leader asked a question about $4 a gallon gasoline and saying he didn't know anything about that...only to say a few minutes later that he hadn't been informed about some other issue because he was too busy worrying about things like $4/gallon gas?

Has the man given up all pretense of being competent? I have the feeling he is just playing out the clock and trying not to put too many feet in his mouth--there are too many in there already. Or maybe Cheney has finally given him the key to the liquor cabinet, figuring that it can't really hurt anything any more.

I also see that we are now admitting that we have a torture policy, with his nibs vetoing legislation that would ban harsh techniques like waterboarding saying that to do so would "take away one of the most valuable tools in he war on terror."

After all this time of insisting that the United States does. not. torture, he now admits that we do and refuses to pass legislation that would ban it.

Yeah--nothing funnier than torture

But I guess--what can you expect from someone who thinks going to war is something "romantic."

It doesn't surprise me about Bush, but how badly do you want the presidency that you would sell your soul to get it. McCain, who was held and tortured for years, who has, in the past, been quite vocal in his objection to torture and stating his personal experience knowing that information extracted under torture is not reliable, also refused to support the bill which would ban torture.

Was it worth it, John? Is is really that important to you to be president?

What I want to know is...are these bozos really going to get away with all the shit they've been pulling for 8 years? I notice that the White House has blocked the EPA from releasing document to Henry Waxman's Government Oversight committee which would show why California's request for permission to regulate greenhouse emissions from cars and trucks. This just adds to the long list of other documents the White House has blocked from being examined. Whether there is any actual wrongdoing or not, the fact that the White House puts up such roadblocks, again thumbing its nose at congress and saying that they are above such petty rules and regulations, leads to the only logical conclusion--they are covering their own asses.

And if they continue to cover them until January, and if a Democratic president is elected (though Clinton and Obama seem to be working very hard to change public opinion about that, dammit), will all these investigations end? Will they all ride off into the sunset with one last smirk at us all and a wink for the good ol' boys? God, I hope not! Can you impeach a former president?

And there's an Oklahoma Congresscritter who thinks gays are worse than terrorists. (Ironically, in my journal entry one year ago, I mentioned that General Peter Pace likened gay men and women to adulterers. Wow...what's next??)

You know, it was kind of nice being on news hiatus. It was a lot less stressful. It's probably how Bush feels most of the time, without letting his mind be troubled by little things like war, the economy, or anything else of any import.

Cousins Day - March

It was as if it hadn't been two months since our last Cousins Day, but it had.

We hadn't all been together since before Barb died. I didn't make it to Barb's funeral because I was in Santa Barbara at a baby shower and my mother didn't make it because she was home in bed with the flu.

So we have all been looking toward getting together again for what seems like a very. long. time. In a way it was partly our own private memorial service for Barb.

This was a very emotional cousins day, for all sorts of reasons, but before I go into it, I must point out that I took the above photo mid-hand (I probably lost that hand), but look who has the boob. That's my mother, in her normal place across the table from me. I just wanted it noted that when all of our games were over, she was left holding the boob.

Peach was actually the big winner. I don't remember how many games we played, but I think my mother won two, I won two, Kathy won one and Peach won all the rest.

It's so ugly when an old lady sneers, don't you think?

OK. Where was I, now? I think our blood-letting started with the story of Barb's final day. She had been in this Alzheimers facility for about 8 years or so and though the director admitted that they try not to get emotionally involved with the patients, Barb had been special and everybody loved her. So it was particularly horrible that her last day was the worst she's spent there. All because of one new nurse.

Barb was extremely uncomfortable and agitated. She had just been released from the hospital back to the facility on Hospice care, which means that she was just to be given some sort of morphine medication, enough to keep her comfortable until the end came.

What they didn't know was that this was a non-injection facility. Barb was long past being able to swallow anything, especially medication in pill form (and she was out of it and didn't understand anyway), and when Kathy looked in her mouth, she saw all sorts of pills, in various stages of disintegration because the nurse would just pop a pill in her mouth and leave.

When Kathy went to tell her that her mother was in pain and could not swallow, the nurse said that was not her problem. Kathy asked for a washcloth so she could wet it and get some moisture to Barb's mouth and the nurse told her that wasn't her job, though she was the only one on duty. Kathy finally got a latex glove and a glass of water and tried to remove the pills from her mother's mouth, but they began to fall apart in her hand, and Barb started sucking on her moistened finger, so she was at least able to get some medication into her.

But it wasn't enough, so they called their Hospice representative, who gave the nurse orders to increase the dosing schedule, so Barb could get up to speed with the medication she was supposed to have. She then told Kathy what she had just told the nurse. When the next dose did not arrive, Kathy went to the nurse's station and the nurse told her she had received no new orders and got angry because Kathy was bothering her. Barb was dying and this is the way you treat a dying woman who had been beloved by everyone in the facility.

Kathy's husband got the Hospice worker on the phone and had her repeat the instructions to the insensitive nurse, who only got angry. By this time another nurse had come on duty and Barb finally got the medication.

But I was appalled that someone in the health care field could be so callous of the feelings of a patient and of a family. There is going to be a meeting with the director and I sincerely hope this nurse gets her comeuppance, so she doesn't treat any other dying patient and/or the family like this.

Anyway, after we had rehashed Barb's death and her memorial service, there was the usual sharing of current stresses, and there are many of them. Lots of crying, lots of support, lots of love around that room. And don't forget laughter. Lots more laughter than crying. For some reason they thought it was odd when I gave the "boob" a breast exam. And I won't even talk about the effect of cabbage.

(But of course you know that what happens at cousins day stays at cousins day so I can't give specific details or they would have to kill me.)

Kathy made a fabulous chicken suisse enchilada and I made some pretty tasty peach margaritas. My mother prepared her usual gourmet breakfast in the morning and we had time for one more game before we left (Peach won...I repeat, isn't it ugly when an old woman sneers?).

Our next cousins day is toward the end of April, but in the meantime, Peach, Kathy and I are going to start doing Weight Watchers by conference call (if I can figure out how to make a conference call), and perhaps from time to time get together to do something like go for a walk or something like that, to continue the support that I think some of us need more than others of us right now.

Have I mentioned how much I love these women.

Except, of course, the one who sneers.

The Year in Review

A year ago, I did something amazing, for me. I decided to participate in Flickr's self-portrait a day for 365 days. It was extraordinary for me because I'm always the person behind the camera. I hate having my photo taken. I hate the way I look in pictures, especially when I weigh this much. So to voluntarily post a photo of myself on line for 365 days was pretty incredible.

I ended the project today with what may be my favorite picture. It's a perfect photo for ME to end the 365 project. I got bolder as the year progressed and started making fun of myself--that was fun.

There aren't 365 pictures of my face in this project. Occasionally you only see my hands.

At some point I started doing "FUTABs," which stands for "It's Friday, so put your feet up and take a break." My FUTABs would have been more interesting if I had a large collection of cute shoes, but I did them anyway, even though in most I was wearing Birkinstocks. This was my favorite FUTAB.

I had fun putting myself in famous works of art. I think this was my favorite.

This photo also includes James (whose handle is "gaymay"), who had put himself in this Edward Hopper painting. I took his version and added to it by putting myself at the counter of the diner. It took a long time to do and was a great way to work with PhotoShop.

The project also became my diary, recording the happy times...

(Of COURSE I'm in this...see my thumb in the lower left?)

...and the sad times.

Taken at Michele's funeral

And it also helped me keep track of when was the last time I donated blood!

Naturally, the year's photos include lots and lots and lots of dogs!

Mabel

But one of the best things about the project was joining the community of people who were doing it as well. There was the aforementioned "gaymay" who had such amazingly creative ideas. His "Snow White and Her Dwarves" set gave us all a lot of laughs.

Then there was "lrayholly," who continues to inspire me so much with her constant striving to do better photographically (she is in her second year of the project now). We also were "expectant grandmothers" together and worked to create a collaborative photo for each of our sites.

Cool Ice Blue started the project when his terminally ill young son was in the hospital and the project took him through the boy's last days, his funeral, and working through the grief. His raw emotion permeated his photos and it was good to see him begin to emerge from the black cloud.

Old Shoe Woman is on day 100 of her second year. She's a teacher and shares a lot of her classroom projects.

NanaJ and her husband Tojosan became friends, and Tojosan became a Scrabble partner on Facebook.

FossilFreak was someone I had actually met before, lives nearby and actually I ran into recently at a show I was reviewing.

So many people...so many friends...so many ideas. It was sad to think of it all coming to the end, so I've decided to do the only logical thing: I start the 365 project, year 2 tomorrow! After all in the coming year I'll have a new grandchild, a new treadmill, and be working on getting in shape for our big trip next year, so there should be lots of new photo opportunities.

---

COUSINS DAY TOMORROW!!! Yay! We have all been missing it. Tomorrow's entry will be late.

Short and Sweet

That pretty much describes our whirlwind trip to Santa Barbara: short and sweet.

As I write this, it is nearly midnight on March 11 and I have miles to go before I sleep. The day today wasn't particularly extraordinary, so I'll probably include photos from the past 3 days.

Mostly what we did today was we got up, putzed around the house until Alice Nan called, then met her for coffee at Starbucks. Then back to the house to finish packing, drove to Maravilla for one last visit with Walt's mother ...

...then off to the beach, to the place where I had lunch a couple of weeks ago, when I was down for the last shower. We were able to get a table right by the beach and had a tasty lunch.

We knew we would be very early getting into Burbank for our 9:10 p.m. flight, but we weren't prepared to have about 4 hours to kill. We ended up wandering around Fry's (which is very near the airport), buying a new battery for my camera, and a new remote control for Walt's mother's TV, which, I hope, will make it easier for her to find her channels now, since she can't see the buttons on the remote.

We had a small dinner at the airport and I think the food was "off"...not enough to give us food poisoning but enough for both of us to be feeling very uncomfortable by the time we landed in Sacramento.

So that was our trip...short and sweet. And here are a few photos I didn't get to post while we were gone:

(Perhaps Tom's favorite present!!!)

Every baby needs her own Snoopy!

OK--everybody say it. Awwwww...

The paint design in the nursery

While Laurel and I were oohing over tiny garments
Tom and Dad were checking the baby monitor--"guy stuff"!

So, the next time we see all these people, Baby Sykes will have arrived and I'll finally be a grandma. The latest doctor's report says that she's doing fine and it could be sometime in the next couple of weeks.

Beach at santa barbara

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