No Books Today

Well, I didn't read my usual book(s)-of-the-week at the book store.   I didn't go to the book store at all.

I was sitting here peacefully checking Facebook when the phone rang.   It was Peach. She had just talked with my mother and was worried about her.   It seems that she said she's been having pain in her left arm.  When I talked to her yesterday (twice), she confessed that she's just not feeling right and has been "weak and dizzy."

I naturally called her immediately.  She's angry with Peach for "spilling the beans," but agreed to call the Kaiser advice nurse when I pointed out that pain in the left arm can be a symptom of a heart attack.  I asked if maybe she had slept on it wrong and she said that the pain had actually started yesterday afternoon.

So she agreed to call Kaiser and then called back to let me know she had a 2 p.m. appointment.  I contacted Susan, at the book store, and told her I couldn't work and I took off for San Rafael.

It was a beautiful drive.  All the trees are in blossom in the mobile home park where my mother lives.

I kind of expected my mother to be...I don't know...sicker than she looked.  But she looked fine.  However, when she moved her left arm, she was obviously in pain.  We had lunch and then drove into town to go to the doctor.

It wasn't until the doctor arrived that I found out that the pain actually started three days ago.  But then she also told the doctor that she walks around her mobile home complex for exercises, when she told me she could barely make it across the street to pay her rent.  With her memory sometimes good, sometimes not good, it's hard to know what is the truth of anything

.

But the best thing is that there is nothing wrong with her heart, but she has rotator cuff tendinitis.  The doctor said that most people wait a couple of weeks before coming in, and that because we came in at the start of the problem it could be treated with Tylenol, instead of a cortisone injection (she was happy about that).   She sent her home with the same set of shoulder exercises that I had when I dislocated my shoulder.

We figured out that the "dizziness and weakness" just might possibly be due to the fact that she keeps forgetting to eat (gee...ya think?).   I've decided that I'm going to call her every morning to ask if she's had breakfast yet.  (Of course she could be eating just fine and forgetting that she ate, but her appetite has diminished so much it's easy to believe she is just forgetting to eat).

So that's how I spent my day.  I don't know who worked my shift at the book store, but they are so nice about having to replace me at the last minute.   

And I got to listen to 3 hours of my audio book.

Missed Opportunities

He's been part of my family for more than 20 years and I hardly knew him.   I don't remember what year my mother married her second husband, Fred, but he has been dead for 18 years so it may be more than 25 years ago that his children have been part of my family.

I was very happy when my mother and Fred married.  My sister had died a few years before and I was excited about having an extended family again.   Some of Fred's grandchildren were the same age as our kids and, when they met, seemed to get along well. I was excited that my kids would grow up with cousins, albeit "step cousins."

But the blended family thing never happened.  There were celebrations with Fred's family and celebrations with our family, but never joint celebrations, after the wedding.  In fact, this photo, taken at my mother's 90th birthday, 2 years ago, is the only picture of the four of us together -- and that wouldn't have happened if my mother's stepson Ed's wife hadn't insisted that I get in the picture with the three Rynders kids (Fred, Jr., Ed, and Ellen).  I actually cried because nobody had ever considered me as part of the family before. I will forever be grateful to her for that.

Since Fred died, my mother and Ed have spent a lot of time together.   He is her go-to guy, the one who fixes stuff around the house and helps her with some of her problems.  He and I have become friends, which is very nice.  I don't see him often, but I do see him, and we occasionally confer about concerns for my mother.

When my mother broke her ankle, and was in a convalescent hospital for a couple of weeks, I came to visit her every day and on a couple of occasions, my visits overlapped with Fred Jr.'s visits.  To my delight we learned that we had so much in common.  While my mother slept, we sat there and chatted about computers and the internet and lots of other interests that we shared.  More than 25 years as "family" and we were just getting to know each other.  I liked him a lot.

For awhile we exchanged e-mails, which was so special for me because we were finally getting to know each other.   But Fred had lots of health and other problems which severely affected his life.   He moved into an assisted living facility and then (I think) a convalescent hospital.  I didn't really see him much after my mother's ankle healed, but I felt for the first time that I kinda sorta knew him, finally.

Today we received the word that Fred has died.  As readers of this journal know, when a friend of mine dies, I usually write my own personal obituary, but I don't have much to say about Fred.  I liked the guy, but I look back over the fact that we were a blended family for more than 25 years, and I barely knew him at all, even though we seem to have had a lot of things in common.

Sunday Stealing

1. Why is your favorite color your favorite?
I really don't know.  Red has always been my favorite color, the bluish-red, not the orangish-red.  I guess it is my favorite because I think it's a good color on me.

2. Do you prefer dogs or cats or do you just hate animals, and want to kill baby seals?
Since I own 3 dogs and have fostered more than 100, I think it's fairly obvious that dogs are my favorite, but I love all animals.  Especially elephants, but our back yard isn't big enough.

3. How much time do you spend on the computer?
More time than I spend off  the computer (and that includes sleeping!)

4. Not including porn, what do you do on the computer?
Reading and writing blog entries, checking Facebook, playing Lexulous and Word with Friends, playing solitaire, reading news articles, finding recipes, following ideas for letters and gifts for Compassion children, manipulating photos with PhotoShop, watching PhotoShop tutorials, writing letters with WordPerfect, writing reviews, making and posting videos, watching YouTube videos, wandering through Pinterest, and I'm sure other things (and I don't do porn)

5. Are you a clock watcher?
No.  I don't wear a watch and the only clock in my office is set to Australia time (though I do have that little clock on the computer)

6. What do you/did you look for in a partner?
A sense of humor, mutual interests, love of animals.

7. What type of clothing do you prefer?
Comfortable

8. What is your favorite type of music?
It depends.  Of course I listen to Steve Schalchlin, I love show music, I love John Denver, I love Celtic music, Brasilian music, African music.  I listen to Gilbert & Sullivan, some classical, some current music (but not much).  My tastes are pretty eclectic.

9. Do you believe in the paranormal, ghosts, ESP, levitation, spoon bending?
I really don't know.  I would like to believe, but there are lots of charlatans out there. I definitely don't believe in spoon bending, and probably not levitation, but I'm not so sure about the rest.

10. The most important question: Do you have a inie or outie belly button?
An innie

11. What kind of car do you drive?
An old Honda, in that champagne color that every other car on the road seems to be.

12. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun or The Boys Are Back in Town?
Definitely Girls just wanna have fun.

13. Camping or the Ritz?
Oh the Ritz.  Please!

14. What food are you craving RIGHT NOW . . . did you eat it?
I'm not craving a food at the moment, but that freshly brewed coffee is calling to me.

15. The most thrilling place you've ever visited. Why?
Wow.  So many choices.  Our first trip to England was thrilling because I never dreamed I would visit a foreign country.  Nothing can ever top how thrilling it was to leave Heathrow, step on British soil, and hop a bus into London.  Other places that gave me that "omigod I can't believe I'm here" feeling were Red Square, Tiananmen Square, and Hillary's Marina in Australia.

16. If you could slip into the skin of one public figure--celebrity, artist,--who would it be?
I don't have any specific names, but I wouldn't mind living for a week as someone with enough money to fly first class, eat at the best restaurants, and stay at 5-star hotels anywhere in the world.  (But the pressure would be too great to continue it for a long period of time--I just want to visit that world!)

17. Look up from your computer. What do you see first?
The card from my cousin Kathy's memorial service.

18. Sum up your philosophy of life in one sentence. You can borrow it from someone else, if you'd like.
LOL.  "It was all juice and crackers."

19. Name the one thing you just don't understand about kids today.
I will never understand the appeal of pants worn below the butt crack and dragging on the ground.

20. If you could steal one work of art from a museum or gallery, which would it be?
Van Gogh has this breathtakingly beautiful picture of an almond tree that I'd like to sneak out of the museum under my coat.

Queens

Walt and I are merely subjects in this little kingdom of ours.   Our world is ruled by two queens, assisted by the Court Jester.

Walt came in the other day, watching Sheila out in the back yard and decided that she is the queen.  A few years back, when the last batch of puppies left, there had been a lot of peeing on the dog beds and I put them out in the back yard to air out, since these particular beds were difficult to put in the washing machine.

It rained and the pillows got soaked.  But when the sun came out, Sheila claimed them as hers.  She has more or less moved herself out into the back yard, sometimes even through the night.  No matter when you leave the house, you peek through the slats of the fence and there is Sheila, watching over the kingdom.

Day after day, hour after hour, in sun or in cold, Sheila is watching out for us. 

But if Sheila is the Queen, Polly is the Vice-Queen, for it is she who makes sure that things in the castle run properly.  Polly never sleeps, not really.  Those ears are always alert to the slightest movment in the castle and if she decides that movement deserves investigation, she is right there to make sure things run properly.

Polly runs the day.  This morning, for example, I woke up, but wasn't ready to get up yet, so I didn't let her see my eyes were open.  I just lay there pretending to be asleep ('cause God help me if I actually GET up!).  At some point I heard the other two dogs come in, slowly.  It was breakfast time, and why wasn't I up?  Polly let out one bark, kind of softly.  I don't speak dog, but it was obvious she was telling them that I wasn't awake yet.  They turned around and went back into the living room.

When I finally decided to get up, I opened my eyes and started to sit up.  Polly immediately let out three or four barks and the others came running.   All the while I was getting the food ready, Polly was barking, encouraging me to hurry! hurry! hurry! because they were going to die of starvation if I didn't move as fast as I could.

It is Polly who runs to get me when the timer goes off on the stove, just in case I didn't hear it (and actually, sometimes I don't). 

Around 4 p.m., Polly comes into my office quietly and whines, every   so softly.  Over and over again.  She thinks it's time to eat.  I pet her on the head and tell her it's too early.  You can almost see her sighing, shrugging her shoulders as she turns around and leaves.  An hour later, she's back again.  When I finally get up, she races to Walt's recliner, jumps up and gives the bark-bark-bark announcement to the other dogs, who come running in.  

Polly lets me know when Walt is coming home.  She has a different bark for "look out for that scary person walking that scary dog past our house," and "yippeee!  Daddy's home!"

She always whines when I am in the bathroom.  I"m convinced she wants me to know she is there so I will remember to open the door again, and not stay swallowed up behind that wall.

As for Lizzie, she doesn't really have a function except to make us laugh and to love us unconditionally.  What a perfect job for a court jester.   (What do you expect from someone who looks like the Muppet Rolf)

 
We're very lucky to have these dogs to take care of us.  I don't know how we would be able to figure out anything without them.

Pinterest

It's really fun having been in on something in the early days when it suddenly goes big.

Of course Pinterest had been going for awhile when I first discovered it, but it seems to have gone huge.

I discovered Pinterest in June of last year.  I called it another internet time waster, and it is certainly that, but I heard it recently described as the newest thing in social media.

We have gone from writing e-mail, to writing short status updates, to writing those updates in only 140 characters and now you don't even have to write anything -- it's all visual.

But what visuals!  I have to admit that in a bit of a "there goes the neighborhood" feeling, I've noticed that Pinterest doesn't have quite the "class" that it seemed to when I started using it but there is still a lot of that class to go around.

So what is Pinterest? 

Well, you know when you are surfing the internet and you find a picture that is just so cute or gorgeous or interesting that you want to share it with all your friends?  If you have the time you copy the URL and you send that to your friends and if they have time they go and find it and try to figure out which particular picture on the page was the one you really liked.

Pinterest eliminates that middle man.

Today, I found this adorable photo:

I clicked on the button in my bookmarks that says "pin it" and it is put into my Pinterest account, in the "board" that I select.

Oh.  Did I forget to talk about the boards?  You can either put all of your "pinnings" in the same gigantic bulletin board, but if, like me, you really get into this thing. you will want to have lots of boards, like folders where you get your e-mail.

 

I started out with a few boards, but they have grown like Topsy.   Some of them are: Products I love, Favorite Restaurants, When I was Young, Being a Mom in the 60s-70s, Strange things, "I left my heart..." Animals, Must have Coffee, Cool stuff, I love Elephants, Smile, Funny the World....etc., etc.  Forty-six of them.

Not only can you add pictures that you found somewhere, but you can look at other people's boards and if something grabs your attention, you can "re-pin" it to one of your boards.

I have a whole board, called "Climb a Tree," for tree houses, filled with amazing photos that I found on other people's boards.  How would you like to have THIS tree house?

I have a board for Matryushka dolls, like this Wizard of Oz set:

This is my favorite picture from the board "Sights to Behold"

(This is in Arizona)

I could go on and on, but that would spoil your fun by discovering them yourself.  If you have a Pinterest account, leave a note in the comments section so I can check out what you have found.  And have fun discovering!

Just a plot of, not a lot of...

We bought a plot of land today.

We've never bought land before.  Well, we bought a house in Oakland in 1968 and lived there happily until 1973.  Friends of ours bought additional houses or plots of land, but we didn't until we moved here in 1973.

But today we signed the papers and bought a plot of land.

I was out in the cemetery recently and noticed that the empty slots around Paul and David's grave site are filling up.  Somehow people just keep dying in this town.  Go figure.

Anyway, I contacted the cemetery to ask about unsold plots near the boys and found that there were two side-by-side plots nearby.  Kind of the movement of a knight on a chessboard.

This seems to be a good area.  Not so close that we are crowding them.  They can have their own space, but we will be close by so that on judgement day, if all the souls are going to rise out of their graves, we will be there to ground them for all eternity.  

Forever the vindictive mother!

Anyway, they put the plot(s) on hold for us, and today we went and signed the contract and Walt wrote the check.  We now own land in Davis and will eventually rest there permanently.  It turns out these are two side by side plots, so that if I die first, Walt can follow my wishes and give me a grave marker that says "it was all juice and crackers," and then when he dies, the kids can replace that grave marker with whatever they want, either a single one for Walt himself, or a double one for the two of us.  We will be beyond caring.

My experience with buying grave plots has been somewhat...maybe unique?  I never bought a grave plot until my father died. I don't think I went with my parents when they picked our my sister's gave site.  But when my father died, my mother and I went to the undertaker to choose his coffin.  This was not a sad death for us and the undertaker was the only serious one in the room, as my mother and I giggled about our various choices.  She felt the need to apologize to him for our seeming irreverent attitude.

We also giggled when we were shown available plots in the cemetery.   This particular cemetery sits around a small hill and when we were offered one site, my mother asked about putting him on the other side of the hill, so he could be closer to my sister's grave.  The cemetery guy said that was probably a better choice, since it was farther away from the freeway and would be "more quiet."   I'm not sure how that could matter to my father, but he is in the "quiet" section of the cemetery.

I have kind of blanked out on buying David's grave, but, of course, when we went to pick a site for Paul, where he could be buried with David, was when Audra remembered that Paul had joked that he wanted "f**k this s**t" written on his grave marker.  Irreverent was it was, we gave him his wish using "fts" on the grave marker.

I will say one thing, that picking out your own grave site and paying for it while you are still alive is a heck of a lot more pleasant than having to do it for a loved one who has just died.

Critiques

If I weren't nearly 70, I would think that I was either pre-menstrual or menopausal.  But since all that is behind me, I guess I'm just a cranky old lady who can't let an issue drop.  I truly normally let stuff like this roll off my back and I consider the source, but maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night.

I must first apologize to all of you who don't live in this area and can't read between the lines.  For people who live in this area, you will probably know exactly what I'm talking about. And if I am talking about you, well, I hope you listen.

First of all, let me go back to the 1980s, when I was working for the Lamplighters.  I love the Lamplighters.  Probably moreso then than now, when I thought the sun rose and set on them.  I never saw a bad performance (well, hardly ever) and, as I worked on publicity for the company, I took it as a personal affront when either newspaper critics refused to come and review our shows, or when critics came with a lot of baggage and had already written their negative reviews before they even entered the theatre.

I remember overhearing a San Francisco Chronicle critic saying "Sigh...I suppose I'm going to have to see XX and XX."  These were the two current leading male and female actors, who, I thought, were absolutely fantastic. But the critic didn't like them even before he saw the production and inevitably his review was a major slam at the show in general and these two performers in particular.  He likened the woman to being as sexy as a wet toothbrush.  Her very worst review ever.

Whenever The Lamplighters got a bad review of a show that we thought was wonderful, we were always tempted to fire off a letter to the editor about the critic's comments, but we had the sense to realize that you never piss off a critic.   Once a review is posted, everyone has read it and you can't change what has been written.  Read the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam...

The moving finger writes
and having writ, moves on
nor all thy piety nor wit
shall lure it back to cancel half a line
nor all your tears wash out a word of it.

So with that introduction, let's talk about today. I reviewed a show recently.  I gave it a lukewarm review, and said that the members of the company needed a pep talk before Act 1 because the talent was obviously there but that the show just had no life to it.   (I never talk about the show while in the theater, so had not mentioned my feeling to Walt, who turned to me at intermission and said "this just has no energy to it!") 

I also mentioned, in my review, that the ensemble had great choreography and when they kept it together it looked good, but too often one or two members were out of step which made the whole thing look sloppy.  I commented that more than once the ensemble started musical numbers on the wrong note and it took a few notes for them to get with the orchestra.  And I said that I was sure these were all opening night problems and that they would improve with time.

Interestingly, I checked the last time I had reviewed this company doing this production.  There was a completely different cast, a different director and a different choreographer, but my overall impression was that the show lacked energy then too.

Now this could  be chalked up to this being community theater and not professional theater, but I also reviewed the show a couple of years ago at a different community theater and praised it to the skies.  The principal character, who need to carry the show, was incredible.  He had such electricity about him that he sizzled whenever he was on stage.  The actor in the current production did not sizzle, though he sang and danced well.  There was no electricity.

I cannot speak about subsequent performances, but the opening night performance was lacking in energy and I could not say otherwise.

Well, this being the company that it is, I naturally received complaints.  Only two so far.  None from the directors of the company.   They know better and I think they must cringe whenever someone in the company (or in their audience, perhaps) takes me to task for a review I have written. I appreciate that.

But people have to realize that when a critic writes something it is just her opinion.  You and I may sit side by side and we may see different things. The critic's problem is that she has to write what she sees.  If I were to write a rave review just to support a theater company, nobody would ever believe what I say because, let's face it, people aren't stupid!  If you have a kick line of dancers and three of them are out of step and you, as the critic, don't mention that but say that the dancing was incredible...who is going to believe you when you have a kick line that looks like the Rockettes?

I have had people tell me that of course energy is down on opening night because they are all amateurs and all work hard during the day and they just don't have their full energy until Saturday.  My come back is always "do you charge less for opening night tickets?  Do you let your audience know that they should not expect your best performance on opening night?"  Nobody said that this time, but if they did, I would point to that other show I saw a couple of years ago, another all amateur production with actors who work hard during the day, yet gave their all to give me an unforgettable performance on opening night.

I just wish that people would realize that to attack me for writing what was my truth of my vision of the performance I attended doesn't do one single thing but piss me off.  Fortunately, I have not yet used that against this company, though I have been attacked plenty in the past 12 years.  I was even attacked for one negative sentence I wrote in an otherwise glowing review. I'm not going to write a follow-up review that says "Oh gee.  Sorry.  I actually thought the show was great. My bad," even the paper would print it, which it would not.

My advice for members of this company (or members of the audience who feel it necessary to attack me), is to remember that I can stop giving the company the benefit of the doubt and just be brutally honest and ignore the good things or the feeling I have that as opening night jitters wear off, things will be better.  I get angry with critics who feel that because they are called "critics" their job is to "criticize" and find nothing positive about anything.  I don't want to be that kind of critic.

By the same token, I'm not going to say something is good when it is not.  And if there are problems, I'm going to point them out so that maybe they can be fixed in subsequent performances.

And now I have that out of my system.  Unless someone else decides to write another letter to the editor!