Sheep

I need a flock of sheep.

I fell asleep during Homeland last night, then woke up and staggered off to the couch around 11 p.m. or so.  Some time later, I woke up.  I was wide awake, trying to decide how long I had been asleep.  I try to check the lightness of the sky and I couldn't tell if the moon was full and somehow turning the sky a dark grey, instead of black, or if it was about 5 a.m., which is the hour I frequently wake up.

After lying there for what seemed like a long time -- maybe an hour -- I got up and discovered by the light of our new coffee pot that it was 1 a.m., so at best I'd been asleep for an hour and a half.

I went to the recliner and tried to get back to sleep.  For four hours.  TV off, TV on...nothing worked.  I finally got up at 5 a.m. and decided today would be a nap day.

Later in the morning, oh maybe 9 or so, I started trying to take a nap.  With TV, without TV.  Nothing.  Tried reading, that didn't work.   Around noon, I got up and had some lunch but felt like a zombie.  I finally decided that what I needed was to actually lie down on the couch, like I was going to sleep.

The dogs were happy and assumed our "hamburger" position, but I was there an hour and no luck.  

I even, believe it or not, decided to actually try counting sheep and laughed at myself for doing it.  But I discovered something really weird.  I sleep on my side and on my side, I could not get a clear picture of sheep jumping over a fence.  It seemed to be skewed because my head was tilted in the wrong direction.   If I turned onto my back, I could see them just fine, but then I knew I couldn't fall asleep.

Finally, Sheila decided that though she was happy to let me share "our" bed at night (we're Cox and Box--it's hers during the day, and mine at night.  No pork chops are involved, for those familiar with Cox and Box.), during the day it was a couch and it was her domain so she took up her position, standing on me, looking out the window, protecting us from passersby.

I finally gave up and went about my business again, feeling worse and worse.  I finally decided to Get Serious around 3 p.m.  By then an NCIS marathon was on and that almost always works as a soporific for me.  And it was starting to work, when the robo calls started.  About four of them, spaced at nice enough intervals that I would just start to feel sleepy and anther call would come.  I hate robo calls.

We get three companies who call regularly.  A lot.  One is a recording of a guy with a very ominus voice that starts out "if you are a Senior Citizen..."  Turns out it's from a company called "Safe Line," which is selling senior emergency services, but apparently there is no way to contact the company, according to a bunch of messages I found on line.  Another is from a company which wants to give me a lower interest rate on my credit card (I never carry a balance, so it matters not to me what my interest rate is).  Today we had 3 calls from that company, one was a regular call one was the "second call" and the third was the "second and last call."  I assume that is "second and last call" for today because I'm sure they will call again tomorrow.  I can't remember now what the third one is.

We have been on a do not call list for years, renewed in the past year, but apparently robo callers don't pay attention to that.

When the robo calls stopped coming and I hoped I could finally sleep, the dogs started barking outside.  I put up with them as long as I could and then brought them in and locked them inside, and then they decided to chase each other up and down the hall over and over again.

By now it was 6 p.m. and I was going to be watching Jeopardy at 6:30, so I stopped trying to sleep.  I stumbleld through cooking dinner, couldn't eat much and went to the recliner, hoping to fall asleep during Dancing with the Stars, but I didn't.  Instead I went to the couch at 9 p.m.  It is now 1 a.m. and I am still awake...wide awake, I'm afraid.

It's probably a good thing I have a doctor's appointment in the morning.  I hope I have had some sleep by then!

Now where is that flock of sheep...?