Cankle Awareness

Are you aware of cankles? Do you have them?

This is, the Today Show tells me, "Cankle Awareness month."

Cankles are apparently fat ankles. I've suffered from cankles my whole life and didn't even know there was a name for it. Even when I was thin (well thinner) I had cankles. I weighed 135 and had cankles.

Some people, I learned this morning, are genetically predisposed to have cankles. I don't know where my genetic predisposition came from, since my mother and my paternal grandmother have/had lovely slim ankles, so cankles can't be found on either side of the family.

(Even with a swollen ankle from her accident--the top foot in the photo--my mother still has much slimmer looking ankles than I do!)

I remember in high school that I wanted to wear one of those sexy ankle bracelets and was appalled to discover that I couldn't find one that would go around my ankle. And I was normal weight then.

I actually accepted my cankles decades ago before I knew there was a name for them. Now I learn that not only is there a name for them, but there are cankle-reducing exercises and that some women spend thousands of dollars on liposuction for their ankles. I'll tell ya, we are really a crazy people, you know? What do you think someone rummaging through the garbage heaps of Haiti looking for food would think of someone who spends thousands of dollars to suck fat out of their ankles?

“Cankles are the fastest growing ‘aesthetic affliction’ in the United States … even ahead of other bathing suit killers like Muffin Tops, Saddle Bags and Moobs,” said a representative of Gold's Gym, which apparently is spearheading Cankle Awareness Month.

(Moobs? What the hell are Moobs? And do I want to know?)

“Millions of people across the country are currently affected by Cankles and millions more are ‘at risk.’ In fact, it is estimated that if current trends continue, by the year 2012 Cankles will surpass Love Handles as the number one aesthetic affliction in the world," continues the Gold's Gym spokesperson.

Isn't it great when we live in a country that, even in the middle of a recession, can worry so much about "aesthetic afflictions"?

I dunno...since I started fostering these kids through Compassion and reading the stories of the legions of children who go to bed hungry every night, I find it difficult to get concerned about my cankles. I figure they're a sign that I've never had to miss a meal in my life.