I'm finding out what a "support group" is all
about. The Senior Center has a dementia workshop on the third
Wednesday of every month. I was pretty good about going every month,
but as the issues with my mother subsided (i.e., I had all the answers and
knew what issues had no solutions), I got lax about going. It would
think about it and then realize that the third Wednesday had passed.
Again. But I put it on my calendar this month.
I had no "issues" this month, but decided to go anyway, and
it was great. Seven people, two of whom were new to me. Those
two were still struggling with specific issues and we got into a discussion
of local doctors ... who was good and who was someone who should be
avoided at all costs.
I am someone who has
loved "doctor shows" from the first time I saw one on TV. It was
probably Ben Casey and I've followed most of them from Ben Casey
through St. Elsewhere, M*A*S*H, Marcus Welby and today's shows like
Code Black and Chicago Med. I loved Hawkeye Pierce and McDreamy and Dr. Quinn, Medicine
Woman and Dr. McCoy and even Doogie Howser
I learned that
doctors are always warm, caring, knowledgeable and miracle workers.
Even Dr. House, who may nearly kill a patient who came in for a simple rash,
always cures them in the end, after using every machine and test available
in the hospital. House would be my last choice of a doctor!
I always wanted Dr. Welby to be my doctor. A guy who seems to have
nothing to do but stand around waiting for a call so he could make a house
call.
Apparently people who work in gerontology never watched
doctor shows. The horror stories about uncaring or incompetent doctors
is staggering. Doctors who refuse to give tests for dementia, even
simple tests (this was true not only of my mother but of others as well),
doctors who will sign a release for someone who clearly has dementia to
drive a car (or, if Congress is to be believed, buy a gun), doctors who
listen to the patient with dementia rather than his or her caregivers to
decide what is the proper course of action to take or medication to
prescribe...and the disastrous results that follow.
(There is one particular doctor who is detested by the
leaders of the group, who think he is the worst thing to happen to Davis.
I am always embarrassed and never admit that I used to work for him in my my
medical transcriptionist days.)
But the nicest thing about
being back in the group today was just listening to everyone who is dealing
with the same sorts of problems. I am the only one with a loved on who
is NOT living at home, so I have it easier than most of the others.
And to prove it, I went to Atria to visit my mother when I left the meeting.
It had been my plan to have lunch with her, but there was no parking to be
had for love nor money, so I stopped a couple of blocks away and had lunch
at a Panda Express. I couldn't decide between their orange chicken and
their walnut shrimp, so I ordered a "plate" instead of a bowl and got both,
knowing that it was going to be WAY too much food for me. And it was.
I had a whole lunch left over to bring home to Walt.
By the time I got back to Atria, there was
(thank you, Gilbert) a real parking
place. I had bought her a little box of Sees candy for Valentine's day
and between the two of us we ate the whole thing (4 pieces each).
This was one of her better days.
Amazingly, she didn't ask me once what I was doing tonight, and,
after the zen that comes from the dementia meeting, I just let her lead the
conversation and went wherever she seemed to need to go.
We did talk a lot about her laundry (I had returned her clean
clothes today) and how amazed she was to learn that I've been doing it for
her for nearly four years and that she doesn't pay me to do it.
In the evening there was Jeopardy and the nightly
shows.
After Walt went to bed, I sat up
to watch the late night shows. I record both Colbert and The Daily
Show and then watch the opening monologues of both. Rarely do I
watch either show all the way thought.
Tonight Trevor Noah said he had finally figured out the problem with Trump.
He's the oldest person to ever be inaugurated as President and he (Noah)
realized he's just a grumpy old man. Noah was very funny as he
portrayed Trump in all sorts of situations where he was reacting like a
grumpy old man and went out of his way to say often that Trump was
OLD....VERY OLD
Trump
is 70.
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