The Usual Suspects

Martha didn't want a funeral or a memorial service, so though this had the appearance of a memorial service, it was really a celebration...and a party.

Martha was beloved by so many people and once again we all gathered in a church to remember our friend, who, while she didn't die too soon (at 92), certainly has left a hole in the Davis community.

Once again, this was a chance to see "the usual suspects," people we haven't seen since...well, since the last one of these events...and these events are coming too fast these days, with no indication that they are going to stop anytime soon (after the formal part of today was finished, we learned that another guy we know had died Friday.  I hadn't seen him in a few years and had no idea he was as sick as he was).

Despite not wanting a memorial service, I think Martha might have liked this event.  Her children spoke, and two of her fellow performers spoke.  They ran two videos of her singing, which left us all teary-eyed.  Low key and lovely event, with grey skies and rain outside, depicting how we were all feeling at having to say goodbye to another friend.

Ironically, one of the 3 shows I reviewed this weekend was called "Shadow Box," the story of three dying people living in a Hospice-like facility, each in his or her own cottage, waiting for death.  

Joe is joined by his wife and son.  The son doesn't know his father is dying and his wife is in such profound denial that she won't enter the cottage because then she would have to acknowledge that this is the end.

Brian lives with his lover Mark, who is his caregiver.  Brian's former wife shows up, all glitz and glam and full of laughs and happy memories.  Mark feels marginalized until the wife sees tangible proof of Brian's disease and Mark gives her a no holds barred picture of the life of a caregiver.

Felicity is in a wheelchair, having had several operations and finally declared terminal.  She has dementia and her daughter is her caregiver.  She goes in and out of reality and some of her conversations with her daughter are entirely too familiar.

It's a powerful and moving play, but it gets us to think about life, to think about what is important in life and to live life to the fullest, as Martha did.

Marvelous Martha

They say deaths come in threes.  Today we lost the third friend in three days.  This one, like Richard's death, hurts.

In between Richard's death on Thursday and today's sad passing of Martha Dickman, Walt lost his co-worker and friend of more than 50 years, Al Almquist, whose 100th birthday party we attended last year.  Obviously his death was not a shock, but every death is a shock, isn't it?

Martha was one of those people that I considered friend, though I don't know that we ever had in-depth conversations.  We just were involved in the same things and around each other often, at various times in our lives and saw each other frequently enough that it never occurred to me that she was anything other than a friend.  I interviewed her several times for one newspaper article or another.

She was a member of the Davis Comic Opera Co. throughout its entire thirty year history, whether performing or helping put the production together.

She was a soloist in a blues band for many years.

When Citizens Who Care, that group that gives care to the frail elderly and their caregivers here in Davis, was looking for a fund raiser, Martha and Stephen Peithman formed a group which performed for some 12 years, the largest CWC fund raiser each year, giving unselfishly of their talents to raise money for a good cause.

I don't know which year this photo was taken, but several years ago.  The make-up of the group changed over the years but Martha and Steve (standing next to her in the back) produced and were in every show.  

When Martha's voice began to lose its oomph, she performed with a mic (by their last performance, in 2014, many other aging performers were now using mics).  Martha also loaned her grand piano, which was transferred to and from the theater every year.

But over and above the performing, I will always remember Martha as a gentle, elegant lady, always willing to help young performers (when, in the early days of Lawsuit, Paul was having trouble sustaining his voice throughout a 2 hour show, she worked with him to give him tricks for how to keep his voice going).

"She was one of a kind. And one of the kindest, most loving and supportive people in my theatre family," wrote someone on Facebook.  "Martha was a personal inspiration and force of nature, and always made my heart sing." wrote another. "A sweet and gentle person."

The last time I saw Martha was at a thank you reception last fall for those involved with CWC, where she was specially honored.  They encouraged her to sing a bit and today I am regretting that I only recorded about 45 seconds of her song....but obviously even at 90, the pipes were still strong.

NOTICE TO THE WORLD:  I do not want to write another obituary for several months, please!