My friend Toni Bernhard, the author of three best selling books on coping
with chronic illness and a columnist for Psychology Today, shares a
blog with her daughter Mara,
who, many years ago, was a member of the Davis High Jazz Choir with Tom and
David. Or maybe it was with Paul. Anyway, she was a lovely girl
and, from following her posts on Facebook and Instagram, she has grown into
a lovely woman and mother.
In their introduction to the blog in 2015, Mara wrote an explanation of who
they both are
Facts
about Toni: Breast cancer survivor, Sociology major, law professor, married
for a long time, obsessed with her dog Scout, artist, has literally
crocheted me about 100 scarves, has a left-handed son.
Facts about Mara: Cut my own bangs every week, Political Science major, dance teacher, married for fewer years than Toni but still for a long time, have two cats and a dog but would also like a pig and a goat, own at least 100 scarves, have a left-handed daughter.
Facts about Mara: Cut my own bangs every week, Political Science major, dance teacher, married for fewer years than Toni but still for a long time, have two cats and a dog but would also like a pig and a goat, own at least 100 scarves, have a left-handed daughter.
Toni also
contracted a chronic illness on a trip to Paris in 2001, just 5 months after
the birth of her granddaughter. They assumed it was a virus, but it
just never went away. 16 years later she is still sick and the blog
was written to answer questions and to share how they have coped with
Toni's illness for all these years.
Today, their blog entry
was "Our Gratitude List for March What are You Grateful for?"
There is so much negativity in the world today that it's good to step aside
and look at the good in the world. So here is my gratitude list for
March.
1. Clouds and blossoms
It seems that every year in March, I have an entry about how beautiful the
sky is and how gorgeous the blossoms are. This year was no exception.
The skies around here are sometime so gorgeous I just have to stop and take
it all in. When you add the profusion of blossoms at this time of
year, it makes me happy to live in this area. The beauty of nature was
enough that I was able to drag my mother out of Atriato go for a drive and
out to lunch, and it was a joy to see how much enjoyment she got out of
looking at the clouds and the blossoms.
2. My Mother
While her dementia slowly gets worse and worse, I am grateful that she has
not had any major "spells" this month and that she has required no trips to
the emergency room. I am also grateful that since we have put her on
full assisted living she seems to be more "settled." We may discuss
the same thing over and over again, but she has not had a serious anxiety
attack all month and she is spending more time sitting out in the hall
outside the dining room, where she seems to recognize some of the people who
pass by.
3. Caroline
I was nervous about having another young person come to live with us,
especially someone who is the daughter of a friend and who would come into
all of this chaos, but Caroline has proven to be a lovely young lady who has
fit in here beautifully. She may go home and talk with her friends
about the conditions under which she had to live, but she hasn't so much as
blinked at anything.
Additionally, it has been fun having an excuse to
go on tourist trips again. I always enjoyed them during our hosting
years and it's nice to have them back again though they are more exhausting
than I remember them being 20+ years ago!
4. Sleep
For some reason I am sleeping these days. I go to bed around
midnight or earlier and, except for the 3 am. waking time, after which I go
right back to sleep, I have been sleeping until 7 or so. This is
almost NORMAL. Whoda thunk?
5. Diclofenac Sodium
I never dreamed that a topical gel could make the difference of night and
day to the pain in my back. Unless I forget to apply it 2x/day, it
really helps. I told my doctor that it's not perfect, but it's about
80% perfect. I still get occasional back pain, but it is so much less
than it has been for years that I can't believe it.
6. Bri and Benny
The advent of Benny and my correspondence with Brianna about Benny's
adventures (and her letters about her Gasper's adventures) has been a real
joy in my life this month. I hope we have established something that
will continue for as long as she believes in the magic of a stuffed animal
having an animate life.
I will do as Toni and Mara have done and toss this back to you. What
have you been grateful in March?
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