Life Guidance (the real name of the memory unit) was on
lock-down for about a week due to people having the flu. Residents
were asked to stay in their rooms, they ate their meals in their rooms.
And, of course no visitors.
There were 17 residents (out of about 50), in all, who had
the flu, one of them my mother. And you can't call her
because she doesn't really understand the phone and wouldn't have clue why
you were calling.
Yesterday there was a meeting scheduled at 4 p.m. to meet the
new director of Life Guidance, so I went to Atria at 3 so I'd have an hour
to be with my mother before the meeting. She was asleep when I got
there an slept for half an hour while I sat and watched her.
When
she finally woke up, she was, as always, disoriented and though we sort of
had a conversation, it was mostly me agreeing with what unintelligible
question she was asking me. As is her new thing, she got up and left
after awhile and went to the bathroom, but never came back.
She finally did and was absorbed in making her bed several
times. I finally told her I was going to the meeting, but would
return.
When I finally found the meeting, the group was just getting
ready to move back to Life Guidance where it would be more quiet.
Jennifer, the new director, seems to be great. She has
lots of experience with dementia patients and her ideas for Life Guidance
seem kind of exciting. She wants to get the people away from the TV
(where they seem to spend most of their time) and either out in the patio,
or on short walks outside the building, or on a one-on-one basis maybe
taking someone with her when she goes to pick up mail...anything to get them
out of the rut they have been in.
She also hopes to do short bus tours around Davis. They
had tours like that in the early years she was at Atria but she was afraid
to get on a bus unless I went with her -- which was not my idea of her
participating in the activity!
I mentioned that at the place in Santa Barbara where Walt's
mother lived, they occasionally had young mothers' groups come with their
babies and just let the kids play for awhile while the residents watched.
She had never heard of that but agreed it sounded like a good idea and will
check on it. (That's the answer I always got before and nothing ever
got done, but this woman seems more on the ball and more looking for
things to do with the residents to give their brains and bodies a bit more
exercise.)
The biggest surprise of all happened in the middle of the
meeting. We were on one side of the room and the big TV, where
they show movies, videos and sing-alongs, was on the other side, with
couches and chairs for the viewers. The TV off.
Suddenly I saw my mother shuffling in and she sat down on one
of the couches and I realized she was sitting next to Tony, the guy they
have told me is her special friend. I was kind of smiling looking at
the two of them when my mother cozied up to him and rested her head on his
shoulder.
My mouth dropped open and everyone in the meeting turned to
see what had shocked me. The three staff members smiled and said that
the couple had become very lovey-dovey.
She sat with him for awhile, her hand on his knee, then she
got up and shuffled out to the patio. A few minutes later he followed
her and sat down. She went to where he was and they were talking (I
have never heard Tony "talk" and don't know if he makes sense or not), then
she walked away again and I didn't see her, though Tony came back in and sat
down again.
When we left, the residents were at dinner, my mother and
Tony sitting to different tables.
Well...it will be interesting to see how this "relationship"
progresses.
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