The Changeling

How many times in the past two years have I looked at Polly's little head and wondered what is going on in there.  She is rarely relaxed.  She never gives that cute little doggie smile that you see in commercials and YouTube videos. She is the most vigilant dog I have ever seen.  She can go from what appears to be sound asleep to full attack mode, if Lizzie looks at her wrong, in a fraction of a second.

What happened to this little girl in her first year and a half to leave her like this? To make her so afraid of everything, even after 2+ years in this home where she has no threats whatsoever.

Lately things have been changing between us.  Once again, who knows what goes on in that little head.  She seems to be starting to prefer Walt to me, at least during the daytime and evening.  She is so excited when she sees him and she often sits in his lap rather than mine at night when we are watching TV.   But then something will spook her and she'll run over to my chair.

For the first year we had her, she would instantly leap into the chair with me..  Now she sits and whines and whines until I "invite" her up (that was all her idea, not mine!).  But instead of one big leap into the chair, she may try 5, 10 or even 20 times before that leap that does it.  She doesn't seem to be in pain or have any stiffness and when she does leap, it is effortless, but it's as if she's afraid something is going to hurt her if she does and she has to screw up her courage to make the full commitment to the leap.

Her favorite place also used to be curled into a ball under my armpit.  Now she doesn't seem comfortable there and often will curl up on the footrest instead, on the chair, but not with me as was so important to her for so long.

(and then, of course, just because I mentioned this change in habit to Walt, she decided to sleep next to me again!)

She still starts the night out by sleeping on my side while I am in sleeping position, but more often than not, now, she jumps down after 5-10 minutes and goes to sleep in a chair instead.  I am starting to feel rejected!

I would love for her to be a normal little dog, but I guess I have to accept that she never is going to be and just enjoy her for the odd creature that she is.

Tomorrow is Cousins Day, after more than six months.  Bob is finally "settled" enough in the rest home that Peach feels she can take a day off, and desperately needs it.  I am bringing dinner and tried to figure out the best way to make it easier on my mother -- just cooking dinner so she doesn't have to isn't enough any more.  You can't leave leftovers, and I feel guilty using too many pots and utensils because she won't let anybody clean up for her and I hate watching her struggle through her back pain trying to clean up my mess. 

So I finally decided on Trader Joe's frozen quiches (which I like very much).  Each is the right size for one person, they just go in the oven on a cookie sheet, which doesn't need to be washed because they don't dirty it, so clean up will be very easy.  To go with it, I got an all-in-one packaged spinach salad which again, will only dirty one bowl to mix it all in.  I think this meal may be a winner...it doesn't give me the chance to show off with some fancy dish I've created, but I will feel much better about it after the meal is over!

But anyway, tomorrow's entry will be posted late, after we return from Cousins Day (and it will be later than usual because I have to drive to the far side of Sacramento to take Peach home because she doesn't do freeways.)