Frivolous Things

I went and had breakfast with my mother this morning since we were leaving this afternoon for Santa Barbara [robbers beware -- there is an attack Chihuahua, at least two other dogs, and a vicious Ashley on guard.  Enter at your peril!].  We are here for Bri's pre-school graduation.

At breakfast, my mother and I sat with Ann, who is far younger than most of the residents of Covell Gardens, possibly younger than I am.  But she appears to have had a stroke, as her speech is slowed, and her right side is affected.  However she was quite pleasant, as we shared information.

My mother rolled her eyes as I mentioned that we were going to Santa Barbara for the graduation.  "Have you ever heard of anything so silly.  Going all that way for a pre-school graduation," she scoffed in a derisive tone.

She has mentioned that several times since I started preparing her for my being gone for a few days.  How silly it is to drive 400 miles for something as inconsequential as a pre-school graduation.

It makes me sad...and angry...whenever she says that because it reminds me of all the things she didn't think were important enough to give up an activity with Fred's family in order to attend.  She missed every single one of our kids' stage shows, and I remember almost crying, begging her to come to You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, of which I was so incredibly proud.  But no, there was a Rynders family "thing" or something that prevented her from coming. 

"I'll make the next one," she would laugh.  But she missed every single one.  She did make some Lawsuit concerts, but I was hurt over and over and over again that she never thought the things I was asking her to share with our kids were that important. 

Walt's mother and his siblings came to almost everything. My mother never would have driven 400 miles for a preschool graduation.

But I feel...and have always felt, ever since Laurel got pregnant...that even though we live far enough away that we can't be in the girls' lives on a regular basis, we can be here for events. I know we can't be here for everything, but by god, those girls are going to know that we are interested in their activities and proud of what they are doing, no matter how frivolous my mother thinks they are.

We had an uneventful drive down.  We stopped around 2 p.m. at McDonald's (we left too late to drive all the way to the Burger Queen) for lunch.  I got the giggles, looking at the impatient faces of the kids waiting for us to decide on our order.  We stood there hemming and hawing looking at the choices and I could only think we must have looked like Ruth Buzzi and Arte Johnson from the old Laugh-In days.

I had chosen a Ken Follet book to listen to, "Dangerous Fortune."  Follet is the man who brought us such thrillers as "Eye of the Needle" and "Day of the Jackel."  I was expecting another thriller, but this is a period piece about upper crust London and a scandal which will eventually (if reviews are to be believed) bring a country to the brink of extinction...but we have to get through an awful lot of bodice ripping and Victorian angst first!

We stopped in Gilroy again at our favorite roadside stand

to get...what else...?

Big, dark, juicy Bing cherries, which we (or more accurately I ) enjoyed on the way down, still leaving a big bag to share with Alice Nan and Joe.

We got here around 7:30 or so and are settling in.  Tomorrow is the big day.  I know NONE of the plans, except that all the parties involved will be at work, so we are on our own until the evening's graduation.

I wouldn't be anywhere else this week!