Mr. S Graciously Declines Your Invitation

It's Saturday and that always means a trip to Petco for whichever dogs do not belong to us.

The morning went quietly. Freddie, who, I discovered yesterday, seems to have a fascination for his reflection in the water bowl (see video of the day) seems not to care at all, if the shiny metal bowl is replaced with a plastic one, so I may not have to wade through muck every day after all.

I worked on my review for On the Razzle, which we saw last night. This is the third time I've seen the Tom Stoppard comedy. The first time Paul had the small role of the "randy coachman," a guy who is so sex-obsessed that all he wanted to do was check out women's breasts ("are they round like apples, or pointy like pears?") The object of the coachman's affections is the French Maid, Lisette who was played, in that production, by Marta. They were supposed to engage in a passionate kiss, which was very awkward for both of them, since Marta and Ned were dating at the time. But they both did a fantastic job and that small role still stands out for many people as one of Paul's best, even though he was only on stage for a very brief period of time.

Sadly, the coachman last night didn't have the same sparkle which is a bit awkward, since he's the son of someone I know. He was OK, but not nearly lecherous enough.

But I struggled with how to handle the review, as the puppies slept on my feet.

At about 5 minutes to noon I realized it was time to take the dogs up to Petco and I made a fatal mistake. Freddie was following me, I called him, he came over, I took his collar and I attached a leash.

BUT, Scooby was watching the whole thing, realized that a leash was in his future and he would not come near me for love, money or the treats he loves so much. We tried everything. Walt tried keeping the other dogs away while I tried to lure Scooby with a treat, but the other dogs saw I had a treat in my hand and wouldn't come to Walt, even though he had treats in his hand too. I had three dogs trying to get the treat out of my hand and one dog who was keeping a safe distance.

I lured Scooby to the chair by holding out the treat. I put it just out of reach of his nose and hoped he'd climb up onto my chair, but he was having none of that. He was definitely smarter than I was in this instance! He went outside and found a very old, very stale dog biscuit, carried it inside, turned his back on me and started chewing it. I hate it when dogs are sarcastic.

I tried going into the bathroom, with the idea that I would trap him in there since he usually follows me there, but once he saw the door, he ran the other way. Everywhere I went, he escaped me.

I finally decided I wouldn't try clipping the leash to his collar, I'd just loop it over his head, but he apparently read my mind and after I'd made that decision, he wouldn't come within arm's reach of me (I must perfect my lassoing technique!)

Finally I decided that I would just let him stay home and take Freddie to Petco without him. There is never any interest in Scooby anyway, and it wouldn't kill him to miss a week.

When all the dogs realized I was Going Outside, there was this mash-up at the front door, as everyone wanted to get out. Sheila is generally good about not going outside unless I give her permission, but that doesn't mean she isn't interested, and she's so big that she blocks everyone. Scooby was in the group and Walt was able to grab him and put a leash on him, but when I opened the door, Lizzie, who is NOT good about staying inside, ran out.

Now Lizzie will come whenever I call her, unless she's free outside. But I'm on to her. Instead of calling her to come to me, I call her to get into the car. She will gladly get into the car, and so she did. Hopped right in the car. I usually then grab her in the car and take her into the house, but I decided the heck with it, and let her ride with us to Petco. The last sight I had, as we drove off, was Sheila in the window wondering what happened and why she was all alone.

We couldn't leave Lizzie in the car because it was too hot, and I had no leash because they were all inside, so Walt just pulled up in front of Petco, held Lizzie by her collar and I took the other two out to the pens.

At 3, there was a call from Ashley to come and pick them up. Not surprisingly, neither had been adopted (tho who wouldn't want such cute puppies, I don't know). Scooby hasn't come near me since we came home. He doesn't want to risk my grabbing him again.

And Freddie is back again for another day or two. Given this sexually precocious 4 month old's favorite activity and the amount of excrement he has deposited on the floor, I'm thinking I should have changed his name to Humpy Dumpy.