Homeland Security

I've been lying.

Well...not exactly lying, but just not telling the whole truth. But telling the whole truth made me feel uncomfortable, for the very first time since I started writing this journal.

The truth is that Walt has been in London for the past week. People may have thought it strange that in the tales of my coping with my painful side I never mentioned Walt helping. I talked, for example, about buying a smaller bag of dog food because I didn't think I could carry the larger one. The obvious thing would have been for me to have Walt carry it (or send him out to get it in the first place), but he was in London.

When we first moved into this house, I always thought it was so strange that my father, whenever he parked in the carport, even if he was only going to be coming into the house for a few seconds to pick up something, always made sure all the doors of his car were locked. This was at a time when I was blase about locking the house doors and almost always left the doors unlocked, day and night. I was probably foolhardy, but I always felt safe here. My father, in contrast, had lived in the Big City all of his life and was nt nearly as trusting as I was.

I didn't start locking the doors of the house until we had a rapist running around the Davis and then my feeling of safety was shaken a bit. But I still didn't lock the car doors.

I started locking the car after David died and his car was broken into in our own carport, his dashboard smashed and his brand new cd player stolen. It was about that time that our own car was stolen out of a BART parking lot when we were in San Francisco.

I believe that usually when Walt is out of town and when that information seems something logical to mention as I write an entry, I have never hesitated to write it.

But somehow letting the world know that I would be alone in the house for a week, even with my two big dogs, just suddenly made me feel uncomfortable. It makes me angry that we live in such times that I no longer feel comfortable in talking about whatever I want to talk about. Or maybe it comes with getting older and more suspicious and fearful. Maybe it's no more dangerous than it ever was to let that information out, but I just didn't feel comfortable doing it.

Ever since he retired, Walt has had great wanderlust. He just wanted to go somewhere. He didn't care where. I was less enthusiastsic, knowing how reduced my staimina was knowing that Walt's favorite thing to do whenever so go somewhere is walk. I talked him out of taking a Rick Steeves trip to Italy because, having seen Steeves, I was fairly certain that I would not be able to keep up with the group...and was too embarrassed to let other members in the group know that I couldn't keep up.

But I have this trip to Italy with Jeri planned for next year and will, of course, have to be more active than usual.

Ahhh...but I'm in training for that (back on the treadmill today. I am amazed that it seems that overnight there was a HUGE improvement in my side pain. It was mid-morning before I even thought about it.)

So anyway, a couple of weeks ago, Walt found a deal on a new route that United had opened up between Denver and London for a very reasonable price. He asked if I would mind if he took the trip. I was delighted and encouraged him to go for it, while he had the opportunity. I was amazed that by the end of the day, he had a round trip ticket and a reservation at a hotel. That's so un-like Walt, who plans things in a slow, methodical manner.

He had a great time. He saw several plays (including King Lear at the Globe Theatre), ate in pubs (which he loves to do), visited a couple of museums, and had time to wander around London, which he also loves to do. And when he arrived home, Munchkin was back for a brief visit, which was nice because Munchkin likes Walt, unlike the Jack Russell terriers.

His new foster family was going out of town for overnight so I said I'd take him back. He's called "Otto" now and he came home just like he'd never been away. Spent the first 5 minutes here walking around in a circle around my neck, across my chest, and along my back, and then licking me over and over again.

The foster family gave me a great idea about getting him to settle down, which is to warm up one of those warming things that you use for sore muscles. I haven't had to try it yet, but I definitely will if the occasion calls for it.